For the few who even keep up with my page im sorry for not being as active as i would want. i check the page everyday but i lose interest. its not you guys really its me. i don't feel like i even know myself anymore. a few months ago i lose my mate. we broke up. and now i find out shes moved on, but she started before we were even broken up. yeah its a scummy thing for her to do but at this point i don't blame her. she like almost every woman ive met did it because i have nothing to offer. no job, car, house. nothing. she was moving on and found someone she worked with that had that and could provide for her. and the person im living with is moving which means ill be in a car again.

I just wish i had the answers to make my life what i want. i know im ok at guitar but its not gonna pay the bills. and with 180 hours of experience of work ( payed internship) no one will hire me. but everyone i know doesn't believe it. they just say im not trying hard enough. i don't want this to be a " poor me " post. but at this point i don't even know whats going on. i just wanna be normal. i want to survive. im fat and lonely. and i have very few redeeming qualities. my hearts been abused i find it hard to love myself.

i just want that big break in my life. that one event when everything comes together and life works out...


Until then i'll be here on my mental pier, watching the waves crash...