It's taken me a long time to open up about this. A few years. But I don't know what else I can do to get out of my current depression. I need some advice.

Here's what my depression stems from:

My feelings lately have been all over the place. I grew up having a best friend who I eventually fell in love with. I was 9 years old when I met him (he was 8) and now I'm 23. By the time I realized I was in love with him he had accidentally got another woman pregnant. A woman I'd warned him was no good for him a year or two before he got her pregnant. I told him he needed to do the right thing, so he married her. We were only 19 and 18 when this all happened.

The worst part is, before he got married to his child's mother, I told him I had a feeling the baby wouldn't live long after birth and that if the baby died that he would know he was meant to be with me. He kept telling me he loved me up until they got married. (I don't know if he actually stopped loving me back or if he thought it was best not to say anymore.) I cut off communication with him a few months after he told me about the pregnancy and after he got married Later I found out through a fellow friend of ours that his child had died 10 days after birth. I feel horrible for knowing and saying what I did - I've always had a strange ability to know things before they happen and I hate that ability more then ever.

All I wanted was for him to be happy, and I wanted him to put full effort into his marriage with his new wife. And I wanted to move on too. I still want those things for both of us. Ever since I cut off communication with him I've started going to school and tried my best to move forward. But I can't really forget. I find myself getting depressed all over again. I've been on anti-depressants (shortly after everything happened) but they didn't really help so I weened off of them. I'm not sure what else I can do to relieve the pain I'm feeling in my heart. Sometimes I cry for no reason about it and it's hard to talk about him or the situation without crying. How do you forget someone after knowing them for 10 years? Does anyone have any advice for me?

Edit: I'm having trouble getting over the conflicting feelings. I am not worried that I'll never find love like that again. I know I will. I'm simply stuck with strange emotions because I never really dealt with the emotional side of it all. I worked and stayed busy to keep my mind from going into those thoughts, and up until recently I haven't had much time to reflect on my personal feelings. Now I have. And I don't really like remembering. Because it's like coping all over again.