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Spoiled another good relationship...
11 years ago
Once again, people I thought I was in good standing with are ignoring me and avoiding all interaction with me at all costs. And once again, I don't know why, they won't tell me, and I'm afraid to ask.
Why does this always happen to me? What am I doing wrong? And could somebody please have the decency to tell me so I can stop doing it? At least, in this case, I have a slight suspicion of what I did. Not that the other person will ever confirm it.
Maybe I am doomed to ruin my relationships with everyone and everything I come into contact with until I die alone.
I'd like to thank the only person who ever told me, wherever they might be.
Why does this always happen to me? What am I doing wrong? And could somebody please have the decency to tell me so I can stop doing it? At least, in this case, I have a slight suspicion of what I did. Not that the other person will ever confirm it.
Maybe I am doomed to ruin my relationships with everyone and everything I come into contact with until I die alone.
I'd like to thank the only person who ever told me, wherever they might be.
Yea, people can be kinda fickle, and rather than tell others their metaphorical toes are being stepped on, they go elsewhere.
Beyond that, I would say to keep in mind the possibility it might be a fault of these people rather than you. Even if they're legitimately snubbing you, that does not instantly mean they're doing so for legitimate reasons. Whatever reasons they DO have, they're clearly not giving them to you, or offering you a chance to defend yourself, or finding the courage or kindness to defend those reasons where it might be constructive, or offering you a chance to mend fences.
I don't want to sour your view of people or the relationships you DO have; I know firsthand some folks are tough to even contact.
To the best I can explain it, I'd also say that folks can be their own worst critics. For example, the depreciative things written in this journal, if someone on the street told you those things, you'd probably resist and wonder why someone would say such a terrible thing. When those depreciative things come to you as a THOUGHT, there is no middle-man to resist, and it can feel true as there might not be an opinion you could trust more than your own.
On a positive angle, I'd ask you to not to be so hard on yourself, and if you must be hard on yourself, maybe focus on doing so constructively rather than destructively.
Hang in there, mang!