I hadn't realized how close we were. I didn't notice until last night, that she was capable of anything so simplistically put, "cute." I just didn't know. She's always so impossibly strong willed, and fierce, and independent, and fiery, and then here she is

in the middle of the night

flushed cheeks pressed into the covers

glasses all askew in the glare from the screen

She started, and then stopped

Parted her lips, and then muffled her laughter into the pillows as she fell in on her lap

"What? What is it?"

"No!"

"Tell me! I wanna hear it! You can't just leave me wondering!"

"I can't say it!"

She laughed so hard for what seemed like the longest time and then, keeping her face hidden in the blankets across her lap, typed the words out into my chat screen.

"If I cuddle with my computer is it like I'm cuddling with you or does that mean I'm super lonely and pathetic?"

We laughed for five minutes straight.

I don't think I've ever been so shocked by something so.. commonplace in my entire life. She had never been so girlish or delicate around me before. I just don't think that she'll ever do it again, so I treasure it. I'm so glad--for this once--that she sent me a message instead of saying it out loud. That way I can see it when I skype with her next.

I hope that's sooner rather than later.