so I am like never on here it seems.
last time I got on was.. a... while... ago.
um, bad news though- my dog has been
sick for about five months and I am pretty
sure that my family and I shall be putting
him down sometime after christmas/at the
start of the new year.

I am not happy about this, at all. he's
basically an extension of my self, and has
helped me through all the hard times that
he has been around for. he knows when I
am sad or angry, or just when I need him.
and he knows how to make me laugh, with
his fear of chickens, turtles, and cats. it's
fairly adorable.

I can remember when he was a wee pup,
and when he went through his gangly stage.
I also remember the times he played with
his sister. and the birthday parties we threw
for him and his doggy friends. I remember
dressing him up in my dance outfit from the
younger years. I remember watching my
grandfather dry him off after I gave him a
bath. I remember a lot of good times with
oskar, son of patches.

I don't want him to be gone. I don't want to
have to put him down. I don't want him to
suffer though.

I do want him to go peaceful. I do want him
to love me still, even when he's gone.


I'm nervous. I'm upset. I'm not sure how I am going to handle this, if it happens. I'm pretty certain that his death is near and it freaks me the hell out. Someone talk to me. Please.