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Sanity, love, cheese.
17 years ago
I am unsure how to word all this so I will do the best I can. I don't tend to journal but I felt I should. I wont tell you how my day went, but I will tell you whats on my mind right now.
I feel that the world in its own sick and twisted way that it wobbles through the universe is amazing. And its even more amazing that we survive. We populate like rabbits on this little ball. quickly filling the land with houses, graveyards, and landfills. I am impressed by the world today, I hate this place but damn is it beautiful. Maybe its the Christmas season dragging the bile out of my throat long enough to pour in its own warm fuzzies but damn am I surprised today. I am glad we have this world. I am impressed that the world has SOME cultures left that haven't been flushed down the universal Historians toilet. I remember the stories my grandparents tell me about the "old days" when AIM was a big deal and not just a messaging program. Back when the American Indian Movement meant something more then it does now. When we stood up and died for what we believed in. I love those stories. and now what do we have? a couple wars that look more like crowd control then fighting for rights, land, respect, and of course "get the fuck off our ass". I mean where are we headed? its a beautiful sickening world. and I am glad I am a part of this sadistic mass of torment. I am glad that the sanity of the world hasn't drained out so much that we cant find our shoes. we still have some left. I have watched so much happen that I don't want to close my eyes at night any more. I have seen so many horrors, and painful ways to watch people leave this ball of dirt, and watched as people move on with their lives living their love behind. That makes me question Where am I going? am I headed any where? I feel like a blind man in a sound proof room, searching for the right color socks to wear. I do want to say I LOVE my G/F who is probably gonna read this one day and then hit me for mentioning her. but damnit I am happy. its a sick and twisted freak show out there, so lets hop on the ride and see if we survive. I am kinda scared to have kids now, I mean do I want them to grow up here? now? in this? but then again, if I wait to long what will they have left? what animal will I wake up in the morning be there at my window seal, and when I go to bed only be in history books? maybe this is a fear I got from moving so much? I don't know. I hope I don't wind up moving again. all I know is that people think we are nuts, people think we are sick, people don't understand where we are coming from. and people hate us for being something they can't find a folder for, to put us in. are we crazy for being like us? are we sick? are we disgusting? what is Right? what is Disgusting? what is sane? how can we be the ones insane? long time ago it was insane to think the world was round. Now its sane to think we are human. maybe we don't enjoy humanity because its to human and that's why we like furrys. Maybe we just want some one to hang with that wont call us names so we go with the most open-minded group we can find? maybe we are like this because we love animals more then people? maybe its all those reasons, or at least a couple of them. I don't know what to think some times. some times I wish it were 800 years ago. I was always told I was born a century late, and a decade short. maybe I was. maybe we all were? maybe there is no one out there reading this, but I am sure because the principles of chance state that some one will read it, being as there such a large population here. I feel happy, bleak, and sad, all at once. I am glad I am what ever I am, and live on what ever this place is, doing what ever I am doing. at least when I wake up the morning covered in cat hair I will know my cats love me, and when my g/f laughs at me and hands me a lint roller, she loves me too. Maybe this world will fix it self, maybe we might do something good for a change? maybe we will just be "shaken off like a bad case of fleas" (George Carlin). I hope we can, I hope we will, I hope it happens. this planet needs some peace. we are a sick bunch, and I dont mean us furries I mean the whole lot of humans cluttering up the earth. Lets move to another planet so we can do the same thing we do here, over there. *shrugs* oh well, I am hungry for cheese, and that gives me an idea for the subject line. Thanks for wading through this overbearing, overwhelming pile of snowman droppings, I call my brain.
Surgery of the day: "Bi rectal Tonsillectomy"
I feel that the world in its own sick and twisted way that it wobbles through the universe is amazing. And its even more amazing that we survive. We populate like rabbits on this little ball. quickly filling the land with houses, graveyards, and landfills. I am impressed by the world today, I hate this place but damn is it beautiful. Maybe its the Christmas season dragging the bile out of my throat long enough to pour in its own warm fuzzies but damn am I surprised today. I am glad we have this world. I am impressed that the world has SOME cultures left that haven't been flushed down the universal Historians toilet. I remember the stories my grandparents tell me about the "old days" when AIM was a big deal and not just a messaging program. Back when the American Indian Movement meant something more then it does now. When we stood up and died for what we believed in. I love those stories. and now what do we have? a couple wars that look more like crowd control then fighting for rights, land, respect, and of course "get the fuck off our ass". I mean where are we headed? its a beautiful sickening world. and I am glad I am a part of this sadistic mass of torment. I am glad that the sanity of the world hasn't drained out so much that we cant find our shoes. we still have some left. I have watched so much happen that I don't want to close my eyes at night any more. I have seen so many horrors, and painful ways to watch people leave this ball of dirt, and watched as people move on with their lives living their love behind. That makes me question Where am I going? am I headed any where? I feel like a blind man in a sound proof room, searching for the right color socks to wear. I do want to say I LOVE my G/F who is probably gonna read this one day and then hit me for mentioning her. but damnit I am happy. its a sick and twisted freak show out there, so lets hop on the ride and see if we survive. I am kinda scared to have kids now, I mean do I want them to grow up here? now? in this? but then again, if I wait to long what will they have left? what animal will I wake up in the morning be there at my window seal, and when I go to bed only be in history books? maybe this is a fear I got from moving so much? I don't know. I hope I don't wind up moving again. all I know is that people think we are nuts, people think we are sick, people don't understand where we are coming from. and people hate us for being something they can't find a folder for, to put us in. are we crazy for being like us? are we sick? are we disgusting? what is Right? what is Disgusting? what is sane? how can we be the ones insane? long time ago it was insane to think the world was round. Now its sane to think we are human. maybe we don't enjoy humanity because its to human and that's why we like furrys. Maybe we just want some one to hang with that wont call us names so we go with the most open-minded group we can find? maybe we are like this because we love animals more then people? maybe its all those reasons, or at least a couple of them. I don't know what to think some times. some times I wish it were 800 years ago. I was always told I was born a century late, and a decade short. maybe I was. maybe we all were? maybe there is no one out there reading this, but I am sure because the principles of chance state that some one will read it, being as there such a large population here. I feel happy, bleak, and sad, all at once. I am glad I am what ever I am, and live on what ever this place is, doing what ever I am doing. at least when I wake up the morning covered in cat hair I will know my cats love me, and when my g/f laughs at me and hands me a lint roller, she loves me too. Maybe this world will fix it self, maybe we might do something good for a change? maybe we will just be "shaken off like a bad case of fleas" (George Carlin). I hope we can, I hope we will, I hope it happens. this planet needs some peace. we are a sick bunch, and I dont mean us furries I mean the whole lot of humans cluttering up the earth. Lets move to another planet so we can do the same thing we do here, over there. *shrugs* oh well, I am hungry for cheese, and that gives me an idea for the subject line. Thanks for wading through this overbearing, overwhelming pile of snowman droppings, I call my brain.
Surgery of the day: "Bi rectal Tonsillectomy"
pbc
~pbc
The girlfriend saw it today and will see you tomorrow Interesting, funny, and a little disturbing, all on Christmas Eve morning. Everything I'd expect to see, congratulations!
