Nothing on my mind to write about, nothing that stands out, no great inspiration, no awesome wow; I just feel that I should write something, like there’s just something to get out of my system, like shit, heheheh, something down in the bowels of my mind that must be evacuated.

It's Sunday, third day after Xmas, I'm going to watch the peach drop this Wednesday night in ATL. There's something to talk about. Xmas! Writing out the word "Xmas" instead of "Christmas". It amazes me sometimes, peoples ignorance of the things they say is important to them. I know alot of Christians who'll get so offended by the "Xmas" spelling. They complain that anyone who uses that spelling is taking Christ out of Christ-mas. If they knew Greek at all, they would learn that the word for Christ in that language begins with the Greek letter "chi", which is shaped just like our letter "X". So abbreviating Christmas as Xmas doesn't take Christ out of anything, it just a way of shortening the word by using His initial. Come to think of it, Christians hate to be called Xians for the same reason as above. In fact, I've seen some Atheists get the goat of many Xians by referring to them as such, instead of calling them Christians. Well, since it's so awkward and embarrassing to refer to myself as a Christian, because I dislike identifying with idiots, I'm gonna call myself an Xian instead from now on. Lol, "Zen Lunatic Xianity" :P that's my religion if anyone asks.

Whew! that was a good one, felt good. I think I had a haiku-ish sort of thing on my mind too. Let's see if I can remember it...

winter night wide wind
winding through singing branches
a lonely leaf falls

... or something like that. I guess that's this entry's "Moment of Zen", like the Daily Show used to have.

I've finally at a point where I actually practice meditating everyday. And I'm starting to see some success with it, or maybe success is the wrong word... I'm starting to see... an improvement, results, progress... (there's a bias, or a... lack of acceptance of something... in these words). Anyway, after a short while of practicing, about a week or so, I began to get little micro-gaps in what I call the "mind-stream". After several weeks of practice, the micro-gaps became regular gaps, and I've gotten to the point where I can have them at will. Well there's a nifty... sideways... thingy (for lack of a better word) that I do now. I don't know what this has to do with meditation, if anything, but I think it's neat and fun. I'll pick any random moment to go into one of these gaps, usually while I'm doing something, not while trying to sit still and meditate. It might be while I'm walking, or drinking a glass of water, or raking the yard, or washing the dishes, having sex... you name it. I wasn't able to do it while writing this entry, but then again, I'm using alot of words, and I associate words with the torrent of the mind-stream. Perhaps someday I'll be able to, but how paradoxical would that be. Maybe that's like, or similar to what those people who do automatic writing do. Who knows.

I wanted to describe what is like to go into these gaps, not while meditating, but while doing something. Let me describe it by saying, although it's not like, the most awesome thing ever, there are no words to describe it, because when "it" happens there are no words. :-> It's pretty cool though.

I read a line in Jack Kerouac's Dharma Bums, "Nirvana is the moving paw." I think I'm gonna start using that, or maybe use the Xian "Heaven" in its place. I'll use Nirvana for the grand gestures and Heaven for the small brush strokes. For instance:

Heaven is the small gap
Nirvana is... what was the one I used the other day?... Nirvana is the radiance of the bright and shining one. (The discussion was about stars)

Anyway... I think I'm done rambling for now. Cheers

JD

PS: Nirvana is the sun and the air… of nothing in particular.
Heaven is the still small voice.