Mid-July, I'll have been a part of the fandom for four years. It's been great, and I've learned and grown a lot since becoming a furry! I thought I'd share some thoughts on what I think of the fandom. Mostly thinking out loud! I certainly don't want to offend anyone, but I will be sharing my opinions. I'm more interested in sharing ideas and perspectives, so if I offend, I am sorry.

First off, I wanna talk about before I joined a furry. I'd say four and a half years ago, I was a wreck! 310 pounds, disheveled, slobby, cynical and isolated; I was a very unhealthy person inside and out! My hair was hideous and my weight was way too high... I was depressed and suicidal. In fact, I never planned to survive to the age that I am. But something lit inside me.

I started by shaving my head. Even though family objected, I knew I needed to do something kind of daring. I took it all off and it worked! Confidence began to exist in me. Next, I wanted to lose weight. I joined a gym, stopped drinking soda, stopped most junk foods, and took extra measures to stay active. I went from 318 pounds (at my peak) down to 170 within a few months.

And then came the biggest change. I went from a closet homophobe, to coming out to myself, my family, and my friends. It was the most freeing and rewarding time of my life. I'm lucky I was accepted so well... A month after coming out I joined the fandom. I couldn't have asked for something so fortunate. I didn't even know how open the fandom was when I joined. But I'm so glad it is. It really was a cushion for me to explore my new reality with.

I stayed online mostly until I was brave enough to attend furmeets. It was shocking how many friends I made so quickly! And how much the fandom suited me.

At first, I couldn't figure out my fursona. It was really hard for me; took a few months. I tried being a dragon. Nyroo was a character from a book I'm writing... but that was a character, not me. I was clueless. I felt like I was a canine, but didn't think wolf or fox fit me... when a National Geographic documentary showed coyotes, something snapped. So, I became a yote! It suits me so well. I couldn't have imagined how much it would work for me.

I'm a trickster, but also more than that! I'm a survivor. I adapt to change quickly, and I can be as social or solitary as I need. Being seen as a mongrel or vermin by most, but understood to be a marvelous creature when given the chance....

There is a lot of drama in the fandom, I know. A lot of furs bash each other, and it was very unsettling when I was first started exploring the fandom. "Lifestylers are lame." "Fursuiting is stupid and childish." "Therians and otherkin are weird and make the fandom something its not." "All the porn is ruining the fandom." "X is ruining the fandom." All of these remarks have been from other furries that I've heard. It's disturbing, because for me, I don't see a reason to bash, deny, or reject a side of the fandom.

I used to think in order to be accepted, I'd have to think a certain view on the fandom. However, one thing I noticed quickly... furries are really insecure and scared. They seek validation so often. They need and crave approval, acceptance, and respect. So many argue to 'win' an argument to be seen as smart for something. I think everyone does to varying levels... Which is funny! Everyone is scared. Everyone feels vulnerable. Needing to prove something is silly. People should be themselves!

Furries JUST on the internet seem to have a very unclear view of what it's like to attend cons, furmeets, and interact with other furries in person. I used to get mocked for fursuiting, for wanting to think of myself as a coyote at a public furmeet. When I first started going to furmeets, I'd get warned about being raped/yiff... I feel there's a huge misconception between online furries and the live fandom.

Maybe it's just where I am... Colorado has been an amazing place to be a furry. Between the Springs and Denver, there are so many great and friendly people. And even if some groups are clique-y, and seem a bit 'high school', I still somehow find myself talking to those people like I do anyone else.

What I've noticed, is that it's pretty easy to avoid drama. Just do your own thing and be happy. Drama doesn't work on the uninterested. And drama follows drama. I've noticed the people that complain most about drama are usually the ones causing it. Or at least egging it on. It's sad, especially because I see a lot of insecurity in people. And they're not willing to fight or heal themselves. Instead, they use their insecurities to hurt, bash, insult, dramatize, or hassle others.

All that being said? The fandom is fucking amazing. The folks I talk to regularly are some of the greatest people I know and likely will ever know. If people this amazing are part of the fandom, or an interest, or an activity... then it can't be that bad. I love the friends I have. The genuine ones. It means a lot knowing so many amazing and diverse folks! From ferals, to suiters, to not suiters, to therians, to hobbyists, to yiffers, to clean-only, to con-goers, to anyone else. I like the diverse fandom. I like different ideas, beliefs, religions. I like different love styles, world views, hopes, interests. We're a fandom with everything from dogs and cats to dragons and gryphons and monsters! Diversity makes the fandom great. The fandom is great. It's a great adventure!

:)

I'm very happy talking to anyone about anything!