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Questions about my relationship ending and my future?
11 years ago
So I've heard a few rumblings and musings and gotten a few basic questions and so on, regarding the ending of the relationship between Wolfcub and myself...Here's a bit more data.
Am I blameless? Nope. Hardly. I'm aware I've been quite selfish in many respects, and this is the ultimate price to pay in a relationship.
Do I feel bad about the ending? Hmm. The obvious answer is yes. But it is for the best. It seems like it has been a very, very long time that we've been together, *however* there were clear signs of discontent for a very, very long time too.
Did I have my share of screw-ups? Yep. No doubt about it. Plenty.
Is this the place to list them all? Nope. I feel that information does not need to be publicly sent to anyone who cares to read these words, whether I know them or not.
Am I sorry for how I screwed up? Yes, but at this point, no amount of I'm-sorries is going to get us back together as a couple. Our interests and my comfort levels are too diverse.
Do i feel animosity towards Wolfcub? Not at all. He's being very helpful in making this...I wouldn't say *easy* as possible (considering the end of a relationship is never 'easy'), but helping increase my chances of successfully living on my own. I am very, very grateful for his generosity there.
Speaking of living on my own, what are my plans there? I plan to look for an inexpensive mobile home I can purchase in a park, that I can wholly afford on my own, in an area that is within a short driving distance of my place of employment. Hopefully a large 2-bedroom or a medium-size 3-bedroom, so if i ever meet someone that might make a good *roommate* (see below), they'll have their own room. If I can find a small detached home outside of the city (insane taxes in the city) after a year or few of living in a trailer and want to commit to staying in the area for at least 5 years, then I'll likely try that route. I don't make a whole lot of money, but I should be able to afford my own place without fretting too much if I live within my means - and I intend to keep things quite plain and simple and inexpensive.
Why did I say roommate and not mate above? I'm not really interested in looking for someone else in that sort of relationship - Wolfcub was my best chance for a long-term relationship, and if I couldn't manage that...then I don't really have any business potentially upsetting or hurting someone else. I don't plan on any 'rebound' and honestly would be quite surprised if anyone would be really interested in such a thing. I'm no spring chicken anymore, and I'm very reclusive and fearful about stuff outside my comfort zone. Which is very, very small. I'm hoping to make friends in the area for socializing and so forth, so I'm not totally alone and also so I don't turn totally into a hermit.
If you've more questions, I'll try to answer them, but again I'd really prefer to not air too much dirty laundry in a public forum.
I can say that when I finally move out and everything is over and done with, the character of Snuggems will be permanently going away. I will choose another name by which to be known, and I believe Wolfcub will do the same. Actually I had been considering the idea, and he asked me what my thoughts were on it - I am a little relieved he not only felt it OK, but that he would probably do it too...and that it wasn't just me over-reacting.
Am I blameless? Nope. Hardly. I'm aware I've been quite selfish in many respects, and this is the ultimate price to pay in a relationship.
Do I feel bad about the ending? Hmm. The obvious answer is yes. But it is for the best. It seems like it has been a very, very long time that we've been together, *however* there were clear signs of discontent for a very, very long time too.
Did I have my share of screw-ups? Yep. No doubt about it. Plenty.
Is this the place to list them all? Nope. I feel that information does not need to be publicly sent to anyone who cares to read these words, whether I know them or not.
Am I sorry for how I screwed up? Yes, but at this point, no amount of I'm-sorries is going to get us back together as a couple. Our interests and my comfort levels are too diverse.
Do i feel animosity towards Wolfcub? Not at all. He's being very helpful in making this...I wouldn't say *easy* as possible (considering the end of a relationship is never 'easy'), but helping increase my chances of successfully living on my own. I am very, very grateful for his generosity there.
Speaking of living on my own, what are my plans there? I plan to look for an inexpensive mobile home I can purchase in a park, that I can wholly afford on my own, in an area that is within a short driving distance of my place of employment. Hopefully a large 2-bedroom or a medium-size 3-bedroom, so if i ever meet someone that might make a good *roommate* (see below), they'll have their own room. If I can find a small detached home outside of the city (insane taxes in the city) after a year or few of living in a trailer and want to commit to staying in the area for at least 5 years, then I'll likely try that route. I don't make a whole lot of money, but I should be able to afford my own place without fretting too much if I live within my means - and I intend to keep things quite plain and simple and inexpensive.
Why did I say roommate and not mate above? I'm not really interested in looking for someone else in that sort of relationship - Wolfcub was my best chance for a long-term relationship, and if I couldn't manage that...then I don't really have any business potentially upsetting or hurting someone else. I don't plan on any 'rebound' and honestly would be quite surprised if anyone would be really interested in such a thing. I'm no spring chicken anymore, and I'm very reclusive and fearful about stuff outside my comfort zone. Which is very, very small. I'm hoping to make friends in the area for socializing and so forth, so I'm not totally alone and also so I don't turn totally into a hermit.
If you've more questions, I'll try to answer them, but again I'd really prefer to not air too much dirty laundry in a public forum.
I can say that when I finally move out and everything is over and done with, the character of Snuggems will be permanently going away. I will choose another name by which to be known, and I believe Wolfcub will do the same. Actually I had been considering the idea, and he asked me what my thoughts were on it - I am a little relieved he not only felt it OK, but that he would probably do it too...and that it wasn't just me over-reacting.
LilJennie
~liljennie
*hugs* Your future can still be bright! And you can still have friends. Like certain bunnies I know of. :)
snuggems
~snuggems
OP
*Hugs* Dunno about wearing shades, but true! ^^
LilJennie
~liljennie
*giggles*
BitterGrey
~bittergrey
Ouch. I'm sad to read about the separation, but at least it sounds like it is being handled well. You two were a major part of my con-going experience. If David hadn't gotten us together at CF7, it would have been very different, maybe even the only con I made it to. Still hope to see you two at some con again, even if separately. Hope to hear about the new lives you've built for yourselves then.
snuggems
~snuggems
OP
I hope to see you again too, I miss you. *hugs*
CrayoningKerfuffle
~crayoningkerfuffle
Before i became Lucca Kitten, i actually ended a relationship as a different character, so i can't say i blame you for wanting to be something else. Sonas can be painful memories to.
snuggems
~snuggems
OP
For me it's more "Snuggems and Wolfcub" almost became a single 'entity' and one without the other seems a little odd. Not to mention newer furs taking the name "Wolfcub" has caused some confusion already.
