On January tenth of 1986, at 3:37 A.M., I crawled out of my mother and into this world. Twenty-three years later, I'm really not quite the man I or anyone else expected I would become. I'm certainly not the man I hoped I would be. But happy birthday to me, I guess - another year older, another year closer to the end, but another year survived nonetheless.

My car has been disabled since Christmas evening, and it has been a bit of a bitch getting around or getting anything done at all. One of my brother's friends is fixing my car. He's so goddamn sexy. It's not fair at all, having a cute guy bent over my engine making all kinds of amazing noises and not being able to act out the thoughts running through my mind.

Expect more new material from me sometime this week... hopefully.