Looks like I get to send out some very disappointing emails. I literally got half my order and no one bothered to tell me what was up even though I called and emailed and made quite a pest out of myself.

I hate when something like this happens, I can't afford to not be able to work on my commissions! That is food on my table too, it's how I make a living so not working doesn't only hurt my customers, it hurts me too! Now I have to try and get a pre-made or something done so that I can be sure next month's bills are taken care of. It's like no matter how hard I work I just can't get ahead. I thought this would be my year, at least the bills are almost caught up and we won't be paying and extra $600+ a month ontop of normal rent and bills so keep up on payment arrangements just to keep the power on and a roof over our heads.

On a positive note I have been taking this opportunity to better my work. Without the restrictions of commissions I have been able to start working on the finishing work of my suits. I have also been working on the style.

NON WORK STUFF:
There is a lesson I have learned this year, last year I learned how to stand up on my own and not give in even when the people around you let you down and you have to find the strength within yourself to keep going. I did a lot of growing that year and stood tall. Even though my former room mates ran off I still managed to get my husband here, keep the house and have a great year. I learned that I'm not worthless and no matter how much I had been torn down by one of them or made to believe I needed them, they needed me a lot more. I'm not a thing anymore, I'm a strong woman!

This year what I have learned is that failure happens and it's not something to be afraid of. I have always been so afraid to fail but I have learned that so long as you worked and tried your best, a failure is just part of life. You might let people down, you might have to work a little harder and you might shake some people's trust in you but you are not a failure if you stand up and keep going even if it feels like you are just trying to keep your head above water. You have to keep going even when you fail because it aint over until you give up!

When things look bad don't let it beat you down, be humble enough to admit that you messed up and be better next time. Some times it's not even your fault but what you do about it is what matters. When things pile up, just go at it one step at a time. Don't give up. There are plenty of artists who get where I am and give up, don't do it! People might be upset that it's late but you work hard and make sure it's worth the wait and when you have done what you said you would, then consider if you want to keep going. Don't run away!

I hate to struggle like this, but I would rather show you all the struggle and let you know what is going on then try and pretend there is nothing happening. My pride is a strong thing but my customers mean more than that to me and all of my followers are potential customers, this means you all deserve the same transparency. It might make me look bad from time to time but I would rather be human than just a business. I won't run and I won't hide. I would rather you all know then one person fear I'm dishonest so here I am being honest with you all! I may make a mistake but I don't run.