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Moving on foreward.
11 years ago
Hey guys, i know i dont ask a lot from you or the comunity as i stand on my own two feet for as much as possible but a man must know what when he must reach out his hand for support.
It's a question really and what you'r thoughts are about it. Just today i had to put my dog down due to a severe case of epilepsy she had, it was not something that was easy to chose for her but its something the family had discussed and the vet did give his diagnosis that it was only going to get worse.
It was terrible to go through even though i had perpared myself for this being the last trip with her and doing my best to give her a lovely day before that but as the injections went in her (one to sedate her and another one later when she was sleeping to softly kill her) i felt myself swelling up with tears and pushed them back as well as i could to avoid falling to my knees.
Once it was done and i was walking home i tried to keep it down as best as i could and while i did keep it back my attempt to get it out while alone in my house has not worked out. I feel i need to cry this out and get it out of my system and get over that teary part but i cant do it now.
I'm wondering if any of you guys know if its going to come and hit me hard at some other point or how it's best to go through this. i'm asking if anyone has gone through something like this and might advise on what might be best to do.
It's a question really and what you'r thoughts are about it. Just today i had to put my dog down due to a severe case of epilepsy she had, it was not something that was easy to chose for her but its something the family had discussed and the vet did give his diagnosis that it was only going to get worse.
It was terrible to go through even though i had perpared myself for this being the last trip with her and doing my best to give her a lovely day before that but as the injections went in her (one to sedate her and another one later when she was sleeping to softly kill her) i felt myself swelling up with tears and pushed them back as well as i could to avoid falling to my knees.
Once it was done and i was walking home i tried to keep it down as best as i could and while i did keep it back my attempt to get it out while alone in my house has not worked out. I feel i need to cry this out and get it out of my system and get over that teary part but i cant do it now.
I'm wondering if any of you guys know if its going to come and hit me hard at some other point or how it's best to go through this. i'm asking if anyone has gone through something like this and might advise on what might be best to do.
Years ago, I lost one of the only friends I had in high school because an epileptic woman was driving (with her daughter), and I guess she must've not taken her medication that day, because she suddenly had a seizure, and she crashed the car right into the bus stop where my friend was waiting. He was killed instantly, but she and the daughter had only minor injuries (I think, I'm not sure). When it happened, my reaction wasn't sadness... but confusion and anger. I was thinking, "WHY was this woman driving if she hadn't taken her medication!? She could've hurt or killed her DAUGHTER as well! Why hasn't anyone arrested her!?" Just all these angry thoughts, and whenever the sadness started to come up, I pushed it back, trying to use anger to make it go away instead. It was not a good idea. A few years--yes, years--later, the sadness finally surfaced, the reality of the loss hit me full force, and I cried harder than I had ever cried before into my pillow, even screaming a bit. But after that, it was finally out. I felt a huge relief, now that I had finally let go of the anger/stopped trying to hold back the tears, and I'm finally past it.
I do wish it hadn't happened--I'd be lying if I said I didn't still feel some slight animosity toward the woman, but I mostly just feel bad for her now--and I miss him, even though we weren't very close like I am with my friends today. But we make the best of what we still have, and life goes on.