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Can I borrow some duct tape for my mouth?
11 years ago
Tomorrow, I will be enjoying eating out after a regular, probably very busy weekend shift at the emergency department. Normally I love dining with people, but this time... There might be some fuzz.
Reason for that thought is the people who I'll be going out with, in this case my dad and some of his friends. My dad practically is the only important person in my life I didn't tell about my bisexuality. He sometimes makes awkward jokes about gay people and though I don't have trouble telling him stuff, the things he says leave no room to make a serious remark. Apart from that, I think he is unable to cope. He isn't the kind of person who reflects on other peoples feelings and this is too far from his own (sexual) interest for him to be able to understand. I don't say he doesn't love me, it's just this.
Those friends of his are quite the same. They always ask when I will FINALLY be coming home with a girlfriend, because of my age and the fact that I never discuss girls in their presence. Well, I think you can see why. So, last time someone asked me that question, I snapped and kind of screamed in his face that I have had some relationships but that I am bisexual and that that is none of his business.
So, attending that dinner will possibly be a problem. They will ask that stupid question again, mostly for their own pleasure. I don't think I'll be able to cope this time, so things could escalate to the point I'll be yelling unreasonable things for the entire restaurant to enjoy. I know that it is on very short notice, but any advice would be highly appreciated.
Edit after dinner
So... it has gone well. Yush, got the same old question three times (!) in different ways, but I was able to cope a lot easier than expected. Apparently I'm not as easily startled as I was a few years ago, maybe due to hearing lots of awkward things and going through a good verbal contact training as a doctor. So when they asked, I simply smiled, answered shortly and diverted the attention. The second and third time, I just grinned and kind of took the mickey out of the one asking. But it seems they have their suspicions. Ah well, lets see if they ever have the guts to confront me with it.
Reason for that thought is the people who I'll be going out with, in this case my dad and some of his friends. My dad practically is the only important person in my life I didn't tell about my bisexuality. He sometimes makes awkward jokes about gay people and though I don't have trouble telling him stuff, the things he says leave no room to make a serious remark. Apart from that, I think he is unable to cope. He isn't the kind of person who reflects on other peoples feelings and this is too far from his own (sexual) interest for him to be able to understand. I don't say he doesn't love me, it's just this.
Those friends of his are quite the same. They always ask when I will FINALLY be coming home with a girlfriend, because of my age and the fact that I never discuss girls in their presence. Well, I think you can see why. So, last time someone asked me that question, I snapped and kind of screamed in his face that I have had some relationships but that I am bisexual and that that is none of his business.
So, attending that dinner will possibly be a problem. They will ask that stupid question again, mostly for their own pleasure. I don't think I'll be able to cope this time, so things could escalate to the point I'll be yelling unreasonable things for the entire restaurant to enjoy. I know that it is on very short notice, but any advice would be highly appreciated.
Edit after dinner
So... it has gone well. Yush, got the same old question three times (!) in different ways, but I was able to cope a lot easier than expected. Apparently I'm not as easily startled as I was a few years ago, maybe due to hearing lots of awkward things and going through a good verbal contact training as a doctor. So when they asked, I simply smiled, answered shortly and diverted the attention. The second and third time, I just grinned and kind of took the mickey out of the one asking. But it seems they have their suspicions. Ah well, lets see if they ever have the guts to confront me with it.
Can you trust your father? If that is so and he loves you, I don't think he'll hate you after you tell it.
And if the longer it takes for a guy to get a girl, the more you get the comment that you're gay or something. They'll probably think the same of me, but I can still rely on the fact I had some sort of GF few years back.
As for the dinner, just ignore them. Try to skip the subject. Aks why they say it? Try to laugh it away? I don't really know an advice. However they only like it if you snap and get angry. So just don't do that :)
So... I guess I should be going now then.