so year it has been some day ago now than my boyfriend hat break up whit me. and I still fill wired writing whit him on Skype or talk to him on the telephone and even look at some old picture of me and him fills wired.

But like he say * our future don't fit together* I fill sad because I want to stay whit him and almost change everything to keep him. But the sad thing is that he is right. He is a big town boy, I like to live in small town where I can get all the silent I want. He is into normal sex, I need to have one taking control over me during sex. I know it sounds weird but I just need to have it.

Maybe because of my gender problem. Maybe my mental illness. I fill like it is me who is something wrong whit. But he say it is him. But shall I trust him.

And more the question what now. Shall I begin to see other? Shall I see some form out of my country? maybe I am not suppose to have a partner? I am more confused now than before

but on the bright side I don't have to fill bad if I go out whit some guys or go to a fetish club