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Thoughts on depression...
11 years ago
General
With the death of a long time personal hero, Robin Williams, i have been doing a lot of soul searching. His Movies, TV Shows, and Stage Performances got me through some pretty rough times. It's been said that those that make us laugh the most are often the ones that need to laugh the most. Depression is a horrible and crippling condition. I have been through my bouts in the past. Most of them medication induced. I have found it is similar to panic attacks. Enough so that i would say that Clinical Depression is a more severe form of Chronic Panic attacks.
It is extremely difficult for those who have never dealt with severe depression, and likely those with severe panic attacks, to understand what its like. And the Most common responses i hear are things like "It's not that bad" or "Don't be a coward". And please understand I'm not ragging on anyone who may say these things. Most people say it trying to help but what most people don't realize is the tunnel vision that occurs when someone gets into these phases. The Brain concentrate on one thing and no matter what you do you cant shake it. You could almost call it a form of obsession. People suffering from panic attacks tend to focus on the what if topics. But depression is a little different... For those suffering from depression its things like
It doesn't matter how incorrect these statements are, At that time its near impossible to see the truth no matter how hard those around you try to prove it. Its' not until after it has passed that you realize what happened. Over time some people can begin to see the signs of what's coming and, over even longer time, can figure out ways to break the cycle before it fully sets in. This is no easy task to accomplish even if you know the tricks.
I have lost several really close friends to suicide who were too ashamed, too scared or thought they had it under control. All of whom were extremely intelligent individuals with bright futures. At least one of them i know i could have prevented. Even one person is too many. I've made it clear to my friends that if I ever hear them say something that leads me to believe they might truly do something to themselves I will make sure there is never the opportunity. Even if that involves calling 911. Ive driven across the state in the middle of the night and stayed up with them for days to make sure this opportunity never came.
I often worry about loosing a friendship over having to call 911. And it has happened in the past. But I look at it this way... I would rather have my friend be alive and hate me then have to deal with the knowledge, for the rest of my life, that I could have prevented their death.
I beg all my friends who suffer from depression to seek help. To not wait until myself or someone else have to step in. To not wait until its too late. To not wait until someone walks in and finds you. Depression changes minute to minute and having it under control for the moment doesn't mean something wont break through that control. See a doctor. Get help.
It is extremely difficult for those who have never dealt with severe depression, and likely those with severe panic attacks, to understand what its like. And the Most common responses i hear are things like "It's not that bad" or "Don't be a coward". And please understand I'm not ragging on anyone who may say these things. Most people say it trying to help but what most people don't realize is the tunnel vision that occurs when someone gets into these phases. The Brain concentrate on one thing and no matter what you do you cant shake it. You could almost call it a form of obsession. People suffering from panic attacks tend to focus on the what if topics. But depression is a little different... For those suffering from depression its things like
I'm not good enough
I have no one and i will never have anyone
No one will miss meIt doesn't matter how incorrect these statements are, At that time its near impossible to see the truth no matter how hard those around you try to prove it. Its' not until after it has passed that you realize what happened. Over time some people can begin to see the signs of what's coming and, over even longer time, can figure out ways to break the cycle before it fully sets in. This is no easy task to accomplish even if you know the tricks.
I have lost several really close friends to suicide who were too ashamed, too scared or thought they had it under control. All of whom were extremely intelligent individuals with bright futures. At least one of them i know i could have prevented. Even one person is too many. I've made it clear to my friends that if I ever hear them say something that leads me to believe they might truly do something to themselves I will make sure there is never the opportunity. Even if that involves calling 911. Ive driven across the state in the middle of the night and stayed up with them for days to make sure this opportunity never came.
I often worry about loosing a friendship over having to call 911. And it has happened in the past. But I look at it this way... I would rather have my friend be alive and hate me then have to deal with the knowledge, for the rest of my life, that I could have prevented their death.
I beg all my friends who suffer from depression to seek help. To not wait until myself or someone else have to step in. To not wait until its too late. To not wait until someone walks in and finds you. Depression changes minute to minute and having it under control for the moment doesn't mean something wont break through that control. See a doctor. Get help.
