just because it could be worse does not mean that it doesnt feel bad already.

thats what I usually say when I start to put perspective on something.. I may not be worse off, but you cannot deny that wnat you feel now is not already bad.

Guilt is a beast which lurks deep at night
When you lay your head down to rest
from the day's events, they rise
Clawing and mauling all in your eyes.

Guilt is a beast which holds no remorse
It tears you down,
breaks you down
chains you and boasts
'you've made a mistake
now lay in your pit
no one can love you
for how you've handled it'

It's only when you can stare at the sky and say
no more, no more, you won't master me!
Breaking those chains with your will alone
moving forward so that you can atone

Regardless of choices that have come and gone
The choice for the future is one I'd bet on.

Life is too short to be filled with regret
So fix what you've done, 'cause life ain't over yet!

Meditate on your emotions of the guilt.

I used to feel the same way

Get super drunk, cry alot and talk about it.

I dunno. I usually end up bottling things up :I I've a friend on here who's my own age but mature far beyond his years; his body is pretty much destroying itself from the inside out due to a few conditions he has, so his life is extremely limited, as well as the remainder of his life.

He could be extremely fatalistic about it, all things considered, but instead he's very outgoing, encouraging, and puts on his best face when possible. Not only does it remind me that some people have it a lot worse than I do, it's also sort of encouraging to know that if people like him can still be upbeat about things, I can too. (:

I pretend it isn't there! I certainly don't deal with it in a mature way, if that's what you mean!

I just get over it and go on with my life. I have more important thing to worry about

It's all relative, there is no such thing as 'REAL' reasons to feel bad.
The rich and famous are often criticized by those who aren't so rich for complaining when they *should* be happy.
There is no should, nor shouldn't be happy. We feel how we feel, there is little use in condemning yourself for feeling anything.
Do not try to take the weight of responsibility for the world on your shoulders, it will crush you.
Just be yourself and try to make the most of your life, that's all you can really do.
People in both considerably better positions and considerably worse positions, will feel worse than you do and better than you do.

Your feelings are real, but only have value to those who care about you.
There is nothing wrong with being selective and limiting over that is either.
Doing otherwise will send you insane, very quickly.
That's just life... and my outlook on it I guess.

Guilt arises from self-recrimination. Self-recrimination arises selfishness.

Like the guy who's friend may not have much longer to live. He's learned being as unselfish as he can is the best course. Because life is far too short to be wasting any of it on guilt.

well at the same time I can't be happy with my current position... because... it's just not pleasant no matter ow you look at it. Could it be worse? deffenetly... a hell of a lot worse... but does that make the present situation good? not according to my feelings. So i feel guilty for not appreciating the things i have when taken in to perspective of how much worse it could be... but I can't be happy with what i have either... changing it also seems impossible...

Well, you can't be happy because there's someone else happier.

yeah it's funny how nobody ever brings up the people that are better off then you... it's always the ones that are worse off that are brought as an example...

Dude is it worth reminding where we both live and the state of this country ?

Pentru ca daca intradevar noi suntem din "First World" suntem printre cele mai praf dintre First World.

Just because some people are worse off than you does not mean you don't have a right to vent about how bad your situation is.

It is fine to know that other people's lives are worse off than yours.

but

it does neither you nor them any good for you to suffer without some kind of release.

When you are in a better space, then you can worry about someone else.

huh... what if THIS is the better place? and it's downhill from here? At least that's what constantly bugs me... what if this is really a good life and I just don't appreciate it as I should?

The better place is never where you are, but where you want to be. It's basically the goal you set for yourself, so you have something to look forward to.

I guess if you don't have one then that might be an issue.

If you are 100% happy with your life as it is now, then maybe you should look to donating or volunteering to help improve other people's lives. Which can help you feel better and make you appreciate your life more.

that's jsut it though... i am COMPLETELY unhappy with my current life... I loath it. But what if... I'm just a spilled brat and this IS in fact a "good life and the best one can reasonably hope for. And I can't appreciate it because i lack a proper frame of reference...

Well volunteering at a local soup kitchen or shelter would definitely give you perspective in that case. Tho in all likelihood unless you are rolling in piles of money you probably aren't spoiled by american standards.

the idea that anyone is spoiled for having access to the basic human needs is kinda a BS idea.

If the guilt is really crushing you tho, I would suggest speaking with a therapist. they likely can answer your questions better than I can.

it's not really that crushing... but I feel incredibly dissatisfied and I dunno if i have a right to feel that way given that things are... not horrible. And that things COULD be a lot worse...

you always have the right to be dissatisfied with how things are, and you always have the right to change stuff for the better. regardless of how much better off you are then someone else, or how much worse off you have it.

I don't feel bad about that thoughts anymore, because of the relativity of the concept. You're not blind and you're not starving in Africa neither. You can help handicapped or starving people through ONGs, if you want, but remember and value one thing: you're on this side of the fence, you live in a civilized country and all your senses are working. No one can blame you if you feel bad and you want to improve your condition. Ambition is feral, pure instinct, don't fight that back.

Well... it's not ambition... if i had that I wouldn't be where i currently am. It's just a general dissatisfaction with my current lot in life... that produces guilt when confrunted with the reality of people with more problems that... are happier... ironically... that almost makes me mad.

Some people have the gift to be content with a few things...but no remorse if you can't be one of those guys (I'm not one of them myself)! If, irreducibly, all that the human being seek is for happiness, if we demand for more to reach it, let's use it in our favour! We can make things that already-content people would never dream of! That, my friend, is ambition and sane greed: no more than thirst for happiness!

How I deal with it is in the most direct way possible.

Yes, I could be doing a lot worse (though I often can't see how), but I understand there is ALWAYS something worse, right up to being dead. Looking at my life as it is, I know that it's pretty bad, simply because of how most of the people I know seem to be doing better in one way or another. I also know that simply saying "other's have it worse" isn't going to make my life any better by contrast.

One should not feel guilty for not being happy with their life. And if their life is so good that they CAN feel guilty, try offering help to those people who you feel guilty towards. If you're not able to help (via donations or charities or what have you) then is your life really all that much better?

Feeling guilty because you're not blind or sick and other people are is also kind of pointless, because you have no idea what life is going to hand you next. You could go blind tomorrow, or be crippled in a car accident, or die. Bad things happen to people all the time; you're no exception, and so feeling guilty that certain bad things haven't happened to you yet is silly. Don't be so sure your good fortune is permanent

So to put it simply. If you feel guilty about someone's situation as compared to your own, help them out when and if you can. If you can't, don't assume you're in such a wonderful place compared to them; it might only be a feeling rather than a reality. As as it applies to people who have had misfortune befall them? Remember the same could happen to you in the future... or worse. In that case you have no reason to feel guilty because you have no idea what the future has in store for you.

Well that's just it... I don't consider myself to be fortunate... not that much. In fact I find my current lot in life to be unbearable. But then I'm quickly reminded ( every time I utter the slightest complaint about it ) how much worse it could be... that currently I am healthy ( well relatively speaking anyways... I got problems building up there too but nothing serious as of yet ) I have all my seances I'm not crippled and i have a roof over my head and a job that allows me to pay bills and buy food. All good things right? Of course they are. But when you spend every waking moment at your job and only come home to sleep... when you end up just eating junk food or not at all because you don't have time to cook or clean, when you don't have time to exercise or keep healthy and you just work around the clock a job you detest and where you are treated like a piece of crap for your effort. Let alone having time to actually... enjoy anything other then sleep ( of what little of that you get ). Then am I selfish for not being ok with it?

But when ever I complain about it i'm met with those counter arguements. It can be far worse, you have to appreciate the things you have ( or you might loose those too ) you have to be thankful... I realize the things i have are good things... but if I can't even really enjoy them any.... what's the fucking point? I might as well be a glorified slave.

Now you might say, "well then maybe you should try finding a new job if that's the only source of your problems"... and you would be right. Actually doing that... well that's not exactly a viable option at this point in time.

Been trying for the past 2 years to find something else and no luck. Been called in to a single interview and I didn't get it. I live in a place where job opportunities are very few and far in between ( and let's face it any decent job is already given to somebody who "knows somebody on the inside"... and if you don't have relations... well tough luck. ) and moving abroad is a scary concept... because well not only are you left with absolutely nothing and you have to start from rock bottom... but we also have to deal with the stigma of people that nobody wants in their country ( romanians have a pretty crappy reputation abroad ).

SO i am very dissatisfied with my life... and i complain about it... and I'm reminded that other people have it worse... and i feel guilty for not appreciating the things i have and the whole thing just makes me feel worse...

Trust me I know the feeling. I'm currently living in horrible conditions, the job I had just ended, have ridiculous bills to pay anyway... The job I had was 12 hour a day 5 to 6 days a week and sometimes more; so I know what you feel like when you say being worked into the ground. Things are better than they could be yes... but far from ideal, or even enjoyable. Just an endless succession of the same thing, work, sleep, eat somewhere in there, work some more, sleep some more. I have almost no friends because who has time to maintain a friendship with that level of work? ...and not much time to even maintain the few I have. Up until this imposed jobless streak I was even losing my ONLINE friends for not having any real time for online stuff.

The person who kept telling me things was my niece. She wasn't telling me "Other people have it worse, be lucky you're not one of them." though. Her words always brought God into the equation. "God takes care of everyone the same; don't worry things will change." or "God won't give you anything you can't handle. Don't worry about it." As if laying in the middle of all my problems and letting God take care of everything would lead to some kind of real change.

My feelings on that is the person who you're talking to is either trying to tell you indirectly that they don't really want to hear about your problems, or they can't come up with a viable solution, so they just toss something out there, hoping you'll stop complaining. Even they might see what you're saying about your troubles,but they just don't know what else to say. My niece is a good person, so I know she's just trying to reassure me, but... it's not really all that helpful. *maybe* it's the same in your case, although when people tell you to just be happy with what you have, often they're just telling you to stop complaining.

As for solutions? There's only one, sadly. Don't give in. Keep searching for more or other work. If you have skills that allow it, maybe go into business for yourself if you can. Tell your boss that you need time to do something important and take a vacation for now. Keep pushing to make things better. ...And talk about your problems to someone who might be able to help you with them, instead of whoever it is who is telling you "be happy with what you have". Maybe some of them can offer you some advice that will work, or even know a way you can improve your situation some.

Mine goes between 12 to 14 hours per day, 6 days per week. Also people at work aren't... well I didn't make friends at work... so that too contributes to the feeling of oppression.

Also around here we had a bit of a different saying along those lines... " May God forbid that He give you as much as you can bear" because... people can bear a hell of al ot before it literally becomes unbearable.

And I guess I can understand not wanting to be bothered with other people's problems... when you got enough on your own plate.

I was in business by myself when I was unemployed... I did commissions as my art is the only marketable skill I have. It made money... and it was welcomed... but it's far from being enough to live off of.

Here are some questions to ask yourself.

Do you NEED to work 12 to 14 hours a day, 6 days a week to make ends meet, or are you just comfortable with doing as you're told in this case?

Is it possible you can do something at work to help make it less oppressive, like opening up a bit to people and making friends or other at work activities that will make working so much less stressful?

Are you getting enough in the way of your diet? For example not just eating food, but eating healthy things sometimes, taking supplements for the things you might not be getting enough of, etc?

Are you treating yourself once in a while? Going out to a movie, having something special for dinner, doing something you simply enjoy?

I've found that all of these can make life easier,, even when things are rough. See if you can cut down a few hours a day, or an entire day if you can afford it and use that day to rest. Try being friendly with your co-workers, or doing something entertaining while you're at work that won't get you in trouble. The idea of getting enough of all your vitamins was one that surprised me; taking supplements will boost both your energy and your mood sometimes. Consider what you're eating and what vitamins it delivers, and you might find you're missing out on something you need. And always remember that you work to live, not the other way around. If you're just going to work and then home to sleep so you can go to work, you're not doing it right. Use your day off, get out of the house and do something enjoyable, even if it's just walking around on a nice day or going to a nearby deli, getting a nice sandwich and sitting outside, having lunch.

I know the stress of not being able to get rest, or waking up as tired as you went to bed, or stumbling around during your work shift, barely able to handle the blah feelings you're having. The trick is to find ways to release that stress... and if possible, find ways to take in LESS stress during the week. I'm sure you can find some way if you put some effort into it.

Well I don't have much choice... if I don't go to work at that annoying schedule... I'll get fired ( lord knows they already threatened to do so several times ). While I'm not poor... I do have set money aside that could get me through a few years if I REALLY limit spending ( and i don't spend money at all on things other then food and bills )... but the thing is... once that's done I'm done... no more work no more income. the job market is so horrendous here that finding a job is next to impossible... well one that doesn't treat you like a slave. ( this already feels like slavery... but at least it PAYS half decently and it isn't physical work). I wouldn't be very keen on getting a job with the same hours but half the pay later on out of desperation. SO TL;DR... there's no job alternative...

And... not much that can be done to improve work itself... let's just leave it at that... would be unwise to talk details about that online.

I wouldn't call my diet balanced no... and I can't eat at regular intervals either ( again because of the schedule ) and I can't cook again because of work... thank goodness with my folks who send me cooked food from time to time otherwise my diet would be poor indeed... but i don't do junk food ( well I eat pizza once a month ... but that's about it ).

Not much time again... for treating... I get Sundays off and i spend those doing some chores, playing some games at home or doing art... about the only day when I can dedicate myself to such activities.

Sadly cutting any amount of time off of work is impossible...

And I keep WANTING to believe that... that we work to live... not the other way around... but with each passing day... it seems far less likely that that is the case... and more and more one feels like a machine.

Sadly the only way would be to find a new job... and in this day and age... in this part of the world... with my qualifications ( or lack there of )... that isn't very likely... I mean I have been trying for the past 2 years...

Ugh... this has deviated a bit from the topic but it is strongly related to why I made it in the first place... namely if I should feel guilty for hating my situation despite there not being TECHNICLY anything bad about it...

Either you're unhappy with yourself due to those worse off, or you're unhappy and jealous due to others that are better off.
Short answer: you CAN'T deal with this, therefor it's something that... well, as Tkdandy stated above, you have to just get over. It's something that can't be resolved as a one-person initiative, and even then there will always be disparity in the world. It just shifts between populaces as time goes on. You can do small good deeds to help, and while it's not a long term fix, it certain helps lessen the blow for those who do have to go through with worse conditions.