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Business and personal life
11 years ago
I'm sure you're a very nice person.... but......
I get asked this a lot, so I think I need to address it.
Fursuit makers sometimes seem like a gateway to a furry social life. Lots of furries don't officially feel "furry" until they get a fursuit. I understand the connection.... heck, I was 6 fursuits deep before I considered myself a furry. This reputation of fursuit = furry can often lead makers to be considered some sort of gateway to the furry fandom. This often means that customers often mistake their fursuit maker as their new best friend who will show them the way; introduce them to the right people, make them a part of the community of furry and become their connection in the fandom.
I have met a number of my customers, and they have (for the most part) all been really lovely people. Some customers I have met clicked right away and we have become good friends. However this being said, please do not assume that since I am accepting your money as a business transaction that we are now the best of friends.
Would I like to meet you someday?
Sure! I like meeting my customers and having a quick word with them.... ask them if they like their suit, if they have any questions, if everything is holding up well. I usually meet customers at cons and meets where many furries are gathered and we can speak in a social setting. Heck, I'll even go out for lunch or dinner if you want and it works into our schedules (a girl's gotta eat).
Are you allowed to come over to my house, hang out and watch me work?
Umm... probably not. I, like most makers, work out of my home. I am sure you are a very nice person, but until I get to know you, I would prefer my personal and private life remain separate. There are very few people I let visit me or check out my studio at home, and they are friends I know and trust. Could you be one of those friends? Maybe one day.... but I am the one who gets to determine when that is. Just because I am making something for you does not mean we are BFFs.
So that being said....
-No, I am sorry, even though we may live in the same city you may not drop off your DTD or pick up your finished suit. If I do not know you it is nothing personal, it's just.... I do not know you. On the plus side, if you live close, shipping is super cheap! Think of those poor customers who live a half a world away... shipping is crazy expensive!
-Yes, I would love to meet you one day; perhaps at a future con. It never hurts to ask if I will be attending a con and if I would like to meet... if I am, I would be happy to hang out and chat if I'm available.
-No, you many not visit my studio and watch me work. For the same reason as you many not drop off or pick things up. I just don't know you. I am not comfortable letting strangers into my house.
In the end, fursuit making is just like any other kind of business. Completing a business transaction does not make you anyone's best friend. Friendships may grow naturally.... but that is how any friendship starts... it has nothing to do with a fursuit we made you.
I don't ask my financial adviser if we can go over to his house for board games and thai food, and you shouldn't ask your maker if you can come to their house and stare at them while they sew. That would be weird....
I get asked this a lot, so I think I need to address it.
Fursuit makers sometimes seem like a gateway to a furry social life. Lots of furries don't officially feel "furry" until they get a fursuit. I understand the connection.... heck, I was 6 fursuits deep before I considered myself a furry. This reputation of fursuit = furry can often lead makers to be considered some sort of gateway to the furry fandom. This often means that customers often mistake their fursuit maker as their new best friend who will show them the way; introduce them to the right people, make them a part of the community of furry and become their connection in the fandom.
I have met a number of my customers, and they have (for the most part) all been really lovely people. Some customers I have met clicked right away and we have become good friends. However this being said, please do not assume that since I am accepting your money as a business transaction that we are now the best of friends.
Would I like to meet you someday?
Sure! I like meeting my customers and having a quick word with them.... ask them if they like their suit, if they have any questions, if everything is holding up well. I usually meet customers at cons and meets where many furries are gathered and we can speak in a social setting. Heck, I'll even go out for lunch or dinner if you want and it works into our schedules (a girl's gotta eat).
Are you allowed to come over to my house, hang out and watch me work?
Umm... probably not. I, like most makers, work out of my home. I am sure you are a very nice person, but until I get to know you, I would prefer my personal and private life remain separate. There are very few people I let visit me or check out my studio at home, and they are friends I know and trust. Could you be one of those friends? Maybe one day.... but I am the one who gets to determine when that is. Just because I am making something for you does not mean we are BFFs.
So that being said....
-No, I am sorry, even though we may live in the same city you may not drop off your DTD or pick up your finished suit. If I do not know you it is nothing personal, it's just.... I do not know you. On the plus side, if you live close, shipping is super cheap! Think of those poor customers who live a half a world away... shipping is crazy expensive!
-Yes, I would love to meet you one day; perhaps at a future con. It never hurts to ask if I will be attending a con and if I would like to meet... if I am, I would be happy to hang out and chat if I'm available.
-No, you many not visit my studio and watch me work. For the same reason as you many not drop off or pick things up. I just don't know you. I am not comfortable letting strangers into my house.
In the end, fursuit making is just like any other kind of business. Completing a business transaction does not make you anyone's best friend. Friendships may grow naturally.... but that is how any friendship starts... it has nothing to do with a fursuit we made you.
I don't ask my financial adviser if we can go over to his house for board games and thai food, and you shouldn't ask your maker if you can come to their house and stare at them while they sew. That would be weird....
Just kidding. <3
I agree with this journal.
On a brighter note, you can always find one or two people who arent and become really good friends with them to help ease the pain of dealing with society on a day to day basis~! =D
people are just strange and i just kind of chalk it up to that some people feel like that have to stalk anyone who does anything that is interesting to them.
there's also i think maybe an immaturity factor, when people don't get that a business/profession (politician, actor, fursuit maker, author, et al)
and a personal life are two very separate things.
i sort of think most people figure this out by the age of 12. i guess SOME people just never do.
I hope you'll pardon the speculation, just thinking out loud. I hope in future your customers respect your boundaries.
That said... I should come over and bring tea some time. :D
Something about my "excessive counter measures" or other.....?
I don't remember exactly.
As a new maker, I guess this is a thing I ought to be concerned about! I've heard it before, in the context of 2-dimensional artists having "sticky" fans online, but never really thought about the "in my house" bit. It's good to be forewarned.
THANK YOU gah
There's a lot of social awkwardness in the fandom and it makes me cringe.
But, if you see me at a con sometime, PLEASE come over and say hi, I really do like meeting my customers in person when I can :3
I can also understand the need to keep work separate. I do that as well, though I don't 'work' in furry.
He's glad I have a job I like and do well at, but he's got NO interest in furry.... in fact the whole scene really freaks him out :P I'd rather not subject him to my weird hobby/job if I don't have to.
I'm sorry, but just because you paid me money to draw your characters doesn't really mean I want to add you on skype.
(like I even use it anyway)
Keep up the good work!
-
I definitely do feel you though with your significant situation. My boyfriend isn't into furry stuff so I try to keep this part of my life away from him. It's frustrating trying to maintain a separation & it forces me draw some boundaries for myself.
Plus, the few times early in my business when I have offered a meet and drop off situation it has always turned into a "Well, since you're here.... lets hang out now and be best buddies...." It's never as simple as take your item and goodbye.
I refuse to do the meet-up and deliver thing too because that usually means a few less hours of actual studio work. The only time I make an exception is if I'm going to a fur meet and I know it won't cut into my work schedule to make the trip.
I think you share this kind of feeling with a lot of creative people out there who are lucky enough to have numerous fans. Generally I like to think that people have hard time recognizing that the famous actors they see on stage or in movies arent theyre best friends whom will lovely let them into theyre life if they ever meet. Actually most people that works in creative industry has a work self and a more private self that they try to keep seperated and as for me it as it should be.
As for me I have meet my share of more or less famous artists and actors at theyre different works and many off them knows me by name and recognize me when we meet at stage doors etc, but I would hepasite to ask any off them to meet outside theyre work since I dont know them well enough to consider them that close friends, and it is as it should be.
Most actors and artists are really lovely people when it comes to more work related issues and I owe many once in a lifetime experiences due to that I have an ever increasing network among actors here in sweden. And its always a joy to talk to people about the performence I have seen and they have been in. But the bottom line is that I try to keep it at that. :)
It's one thing to be invited. . .or if an artist has an online stream to share their work in progress. . .but I would never invite myself.