I lost 28 pages today, I had a publishing agent in line and now I have to rewrite the whole thing from page 29, this wouldn't be a problem accept I feel incredibly sad and sick, every time I think about it my eyes well up. This is the 6th time I have lost this story and I don't know what force is behind it. Chapters 17 & 18 meant a lot to me, I got a lot done that I have to rewrite from scratch, I was behind on my own deadline anyways and now that I caught up I lost it all and no matter what I do I can't seem to pull it bac up, I wish I knew computers better than I do.

I had stopped writing for two days to give rest and today on my lunch when I wrote it, I tried to save what I had and AbiWord completely destroyed almost 30 pages. I returned to work in tears, my head was numb, I was thirty minutes late. ... ...

I suppose I could start pulling it up here, but with some artwork disappearing... I don't want my story to get stolen. I have a thumb drive but I can't access it anymore. I had this problem with my old computer as well, it refused to allow me to access it, I have a drop-sinking gut feeling that the original 28 pages are on it and I can't even get to it... on top of that, there's less than a week left before I have to leave my seasonal job, my car is in the shop, everyone around me is packing but I cant cause I have no where to put my shit and its supposed to start snowing on Monday, I need to get off the mountain and to my uncle's house and family's not helping me through any of this...

Maybe this is why I feel so shitty.. {?)