i took it from Sephirothwolf (only on DA, as far as i know)
Pokemon Randomiser

(Only generate one pokemon)

This pokemon is you:

Breloom
...

This Pokémon is your best friend:

Bagon
alriiight?

This Pokémon is your boss that you need to impress for a promotion:

Mareep
I didn't know i worked at a sheep farm or power plant...

This Pokémon is your partner for your science project:

Drilbur
That volcano better be awesome!

This Pokémon is looking for every way possible to murder you:

Galvantula
I told you making a web isn't the way to do it!

This Pokémon is your mother-in-law:

Carracosta
I have nothing to say...

This Pokémon is your boyfriend/girlfriend:

Golbat
Wait, wha?

This Pokémon is your ex:

Azumarill
I think should ask Golbat something...

This Pokémon stalks you every waking moment:

Pyroar
Maybe Golbat could help me with this?

This Pokémon likes to snuggle with you:

Pumpkaboo
(S)He has some nice fluffs!

This Pokémon ate your cookie:

Psyduck
You. Ate. MY. COOKIE?!?! STARING CONTEST RIGHT NAO!

This Pokémon is what you felt in your bed last night:

Blitzle
I already thought my pillow got more hair than usual... It was nice.

This Pokémon banged your mom:

Audino
... just... ...

This Pokémon will do anything to try and get in your pants:

Pidove
But, I don't even wear pants! (i do IRL, this was Dusty speaking)

This Pokémon died by your own hands:

Vanillite
I think i might want to speak Golbat about this, 'cause i don't remember anything...

This Pokémon is your loyal companion for life:

Whimsicott
I visit every rock concert with her.

This Pokémon reads you bed time stories:

Sceptile
I even have a special branch for him to sit on in my garden.

This Pokémon is your loving pet:

Vanillite
Erm... ... Golbat? What did you make me do?

This Pokémon is your nice dentist:

Gallade
She smells like flowers.

This Pokémon is your creepy dentist:

Linoone
He has that kind of accent. *shudder*

This Pokémon is what you dream about every day:

Hoopa
That bright smile is hiding something, and where did his hands go?

This Pokémon is what you found in your basement when you moved into your new house:

Spinarak
Came along with Galvantula.

This Pokémon watches you sleep:

Heatran
Well, he keeps me warm during the cold winter nights.

This Pokémon is your guardian angel:

Regigigas
Why not?

This Pokémon won't rest untill it has a lock of your hair to cherish forever:

Farfetch'd
Well that's very far-fetched.

This Pokémon will be there for you when you need it:

Electabuzz
I don't call him Electabuzz Lightyear for nothing.