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Still Here
11 years ago
General
Sorry to everyone about the little hiatus of silence. This time of year always gets hectic between work and family. I'm not writing this to offer excuses, but more so to provide an explanation for those who are waiting on commission work or happen to care.
First of all, a part of me is a realist/defeatist and realizes that maybe 10% of the people who watch me, will read this. And maybe half of that again, will care about what I say here. And that thought alone is perhaps the biggest reason behind my recent silence. When you start out, it only makes sense when no one takes notice of you or your work at first. Then, when watchers start to add up, it's nice to feel appreciated and supported.
Having the Patreon thing flop really took the wind out of my sails. I kept looking at other artists and going , "Wow, even if I got a fifth of the people who watch me to throw in $2 a month, that'd be a big help towards bills". And again, I totally understand that -everyone- has bills of their own and can't afford to chip in money towards a million different people through Patreon. But to only ever reach a following of 5 people, max...that doesn't make you feel great about your work, or yourself as a person. So, I'm going to give up on that for now and go back to focusing on commissions and personal stuff.
And I apologize if this is starting to sound like me throwing a pity party. Again, this is more just me trying to work through some of these emotions and offer an explanation of where things stand. Because right now I find myself coming home from work, tired and sore, and returning to this disappointment from Patreon and the general sense that my work isn't really worth any attention. That I should just apologize to all my commissioners and not sign back on again. And please don't take that to mean that I'm threatening to disappear if hundreds of people don't reassure me otherwise and beg me to stay. I'm not that vain...
If anything, this is likely some untreated form of depression that I need to get better about fighting. So, I guess the point to all this is just...please be patient with me...
First of all, a part of me is a realist/defeatist and realizes that maybe 10% of the people who watch me, will read this. And maybe half of that again, will care about what I say here. And that thought alone is perhaps the biggest reason behind my recent silence. When you start out, it only makes sense when no one takes notice of you or your work at first. Then, when watchers start to add up, it's nice to feel appreciated and supported.
Having the Patreon thing flop really took the wind out of my sails. I kept looking at other artists and going , "Wow, even if I got a fifth of the people who watch me to throw in $2 a month, that'd be a big help towards bills". And again, I totally understand that -everyone- has bills of their own and can't afford to chip in money towards a million different people through Patreon. But to only ever reach a following of 5 people, max...that doesn't make you feel great about your work, or yourself as a person. So, I'm going to give up on that for now and go back to focusing on commissions and personal stuff.
And I apologize if this is starting to sound like me throwing a pity party. Again, this is more just me trying to work through some of these emotions and offer an explanation of where things stand. Because right now I find myself coming home from work, tired and sore, and returning to this disappointment from Patreon and the general sense that my work isn't really worth any attention. That I should just apologize to all my commissioners and not sign back on again. And please don't take that to mean that I'm threatening to disappear if hundreds of people don't reassure me otherwise and beg me to stay. I'm not that vain...
If anything, this is likely some untreated form of depression that I need to get better about fighting. So, I guess the point to all this is just...please be patient with me...
As for the patreon thing... I must have blinked and got stuck in some sort of time warp, one day suddenly every artist seemed to be jumping on the bandwagon. It would be nice to splash cash at the artists I know, but charity begins at home and I'm currently trying to buy one. I probably could have donated to one or two, but how do I choose? So I made the simple decision, donate the money to myself and that way I don't feel bad about giving money to one artist over the other. lol!
does NOT mean that your work is not valid. It is just one avenue out of many on which you can share your art, and
a lot of artists are trying it out right now. Please don't let this one instance deter you from doing what you love, if
you do find joy in creating art. Just do what you love, and things will work out (I know that's terribly cliche, but still).
I'm sure there are plenty of us who enjoy your work and as you said, just can't spare the cash to contribute, as much
as we would love to. I'd love to try a Patreon myself someday, but I have a feeling I'd end up in a similar situation. D: