I don't like to talk about my personal stuff, because sometimes not to many people understand me, so i write this to my self because ,well i hardly right anything personal in anything, though lately having art block, and seeing amazing artist as i browse, having a shitty dad at home who always just doesn't talk to you, unless he really needs you, and having no job really sucks,I can't seem to explain things in person, but i do well over typing, but i hate it that when ever i want to do something i just don't have the courage to do stuff on my own sometimes, i feel like I'm alone at some points, but I'm not that alone,just maybe if i had someone there by my side to cheer me on, maybe things would be different, though its hard to ask for something from my point of view, its hard to ask any of my friends because i feel like I'm asking too much from them,

i sometimes feel like why do i exist or why am i even alive at some points because of my disabilities, I'm different,I'm random, i say random things, and im me, but this will be the last thing i ever write , but all i can say is i just want to be happy , smile each day, try to add positive thinking and make everyone else have a good day, but i don't know ,i just feel like I'm becoming less and less happy, i sometimes feel like if i do say something to someone I'm just going to cry because i can't control my feminine feelings and i just feel like its a burden to cry because just not many people can handle some people who cry in front of them, that's how i feel when i explain how my life truly is because know one wants to see you cry , and that's probably why I'm kind of scared of telling anyone...

but time to scrap this up, i don't care if anyone doesn't read this, i don't care if I'm made fun of, if you think its funny, its fine, if you post this to anywhere i probably don't care to notice but this is my own personal thoughts.