Today I grieve for my beloved old friend, Common-sense, who has been with this nation for so many years, even older than America herself. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost by the bumbling Redtape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Life isn't always fair;
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Waste Not, Want Not;
- And maybe it was my fault I'm in my situation!
Mr. Common-sense was a plain-looking, elderly man, a teacher to all ages. Not many listened to what he had to say. but he lived by simple, sound policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and other reliable strategies that saw him well into old age. Others who listened to him often heard things that made them uncomfortable in the short term, but they ended up wealthy and happy for what he told them.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when m,edications meant to save him were set in place sold by one disreputable doctors named Mr. Political-Correct, Punish-Success and Reward-Fail gave him what they thought would work.
Common-sense lost the will to live as other quacks were brought in- Dr. Race-Bait, Dr. Big-Union, and Dr. Media tried to sell him their medicines and treatments, but he never got better.
On his deathbed, Common-sense lamented that you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault because he was offended.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his loving wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-by his sons, Reason and Respect,
- by his grandmother, Sound Judgement
- and by his grandfather, Future Planning.

His pallbearers are Mr. Know-my-rights, Mr. Want-Now, Mrs. Owe-me-something, Mr. Offended, Mrs. Ever-Victim, and Mr. Elseblame.