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My Gym Partner's a Monkey Review (or Rant if you perfer)
11 years ago
FUCK. THIS. DAMN. SHOW. Fuck everything about this show. And fuck the fact that this show exists!
When I first watched this cartoon, I was twelve and actually enjoyed it. However, looking back on it now, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I EVER CONSIDERED THIS TO BE GOOD. The jokes and running gags are a little lame, some of the characters are two-dimensional, and the two main characters.....Well, Adam's a wimp and Jake's utterly annoying. And the moments of romance.....When people talk about bestiality, they bring up furries as a main point, or rather, that cutscene in Sonic '06. Bringing up furries is pretty much discriminatory, and Sonic '06......Okay, you got me there. But then, what's this bastard show's excuse?! And this was shown to little kids and older children, them being the target audience!
Anyways, I'll start things off with the beginning.....The opening. No really, the beginning of the story is summarized in the opening title sequence. Apparently there were two middle schools in town this series takes place in. One for humans, and the other, Charles Darwin Middle School, for animals. One day, Adam, a twelve-year-old human boy gets transferred to Charles Darwin Middle School because his last name is "Lyon" ....."Lion".....But with a "Y". And this is my first problem with this series. Why on earth didn't they transfer him back to his old middle school? Did they just decide to say "Fuck it, he's staying"? And I know I'm someone who is already aware of how non-existent the line between humans and animals seems to be nowadays, but I'm not looking at this plot point in that way at this moment. But yeah, he didn't get transferred, and now has to attend school with animals.
Now for the main characters. Adam is easily the one I really feel bad for. Reason being is that he's going to school with a bunch of animals. Some that might even try to rip him to shreds. Any normal twelve-year-old would cry for their mom in that kind of situation, which, shockingly enough, he doesn't do that often. But for the most part, he's made to be an utter wimp, or the character with some actual common sense, but his words are usually worthless in most of his situations, most of the time being the target of physical humor, the prey of some bigger stronger and hungrier predator or the victim of a beating / moment of intense embarrassment. And sadly, his best friend sometimes tends to make things even worse than they already are. Speaking of which....Jake. I FUCKING hate this one. In fact, HE'S the reason why I hate monkeys! This guy acts like an idiot, tries come off as Adam's best friend, and easily turns on him for "reasons" (whether it be his animal instinct or not), and for the most part, is an obnoxious asshole. Windsor the Gorilla has to be the best character in the show. He's the bookworm of the group and it shows, when he gives some pretty great words of wisdom, and tends to be the once with even more common sense than Adam, albeit just like most of the other animal students he doesn't use his common sense whenever he gets riled up. And whenever he acts odd or shy, I can't help but actually laugh a little.....Too bad he's a minor character compared to the first two I mentioned. Ingrid is like Hinata Hyuuga from the Naruto series. She's a little shy and has a secret crush on Adam, but doesn't want him too know right away. But the only memorable thing about her is her neck. No really, most of the time you'll only see her neck and body, but not her head. "Heheh, she's a giraffe and giraffes have long necks so it's funny because her neck stretches too far off screen-" Yeah I get it, but that's kind of lazy since that means that her head is pretty much cut out most of the time! And FYI, a giraffe's neck is usually about the same length as their spine, if not an inch or two shorter. Also, Ingrid and Windsor are probably the most likable and down-to-earth characters in the entire cartoon. There's also Slips the Python and Guadalupe the Toucan, but these two are almost lamer than Jake and Adam. Slips acts like a Shikamaru from Naruto......If Shikamaru was an idiot.....Yeah. And, since we're on the topic of Slips, WHY ON EARTH DOES HE EVEN HAVE A T-SHIRT?! SNAKES DON'T HAVE LIMBS!! And even if that wasn't a big issue to address, there's still the fact that he has hair.....A snake....That has HAIR.....WHY?? Lastly Guadalupe is.....Well, she's loud. And she might be Spanish.....So there's that. But yeah, most of these characters, if not all of them is pretty two-dimensional, and any quality to their personality that's seen in one episode is quickly forgotten in all the others. Really, I can understand when someone has a tendency to be inconsistent but that's just plain lazy if you're just gonna brush off something that makes a character more unique like it meant nothing. SpongeBob SquarePants does this all the time, and look how bad that show has gotten now! And I can't be the only one who questions why do some of the animal students who should have scales or not be able to grow hair or fur, have hair styles and even stubble on their faces! WHY?!
Next, the plot. Usually, it's the same thing every few episodes. A seemingly normal day (and I use the word "normal" loosely) occurs at school for Adam, Jake and their friends, Adam, Jake, Windsor or Ingrid, (it's usually one or more of those four, and almost never Guadalupe or Slips) get into a situation caused by either the other one of the previously mentioned four characters (also including Guadalupe as the fifth, but again usually not Slips) their teachers, principal, the school bully or a character(s) of the day, and they manage to resolve the problem through some harebrained solution and pass off their moment as nothing too big, all the while, throwing in all sorts of jokes to get their viewers laughing. This is my main issue. The humor. It's rarely ever clever or impressive, to be honest, and most of the time it falls on Jake to be the funny one. Ironically, even though he's the most annoying, he is a kind of funny character.....Until the writers decide to include him in some fart or butt jokes. After that, it gets a little irritating to continue watching without the urge to change the channel or find something different to watch. Farts aren't funny to everyone, and some people find that kind of humor gross or tasteless. Same with poop jokes or toilet humor- OH WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT! They've tried that stuff too! The first episode of Sonic Boom had the most clever writing I've ever seen anyone give to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Eggman. Why couldn't that team of writers be on My Gym Partner's a Monkey?! Hell, Skarow alone could write something better! Heck, I've been diagnosed with A.D.D. by a therapist and A.D.H.D. by my aunt (she used to be a teacher for the Special Ed students and has four kids who all graduated High school), and I could write something better, dammit!
The design. Usually the character design isn't much of a problem (Unless you're part of the Sonic fanbas- OW!! What the hell, who just threw a rock at my head?!), but that isn't the case with My Gym Partner's a Monkey. Most of the characters have pretty bland or god-awful designs, the worst two being for Bull Sharkowski and Slips, whose designs make little sense in some aspects. Adam and Jake aren't that impressive to look at, and the only two characters that actually have a pretty neat physical appearance are Windsor and Principal Pixelfrog (Yes, the principal is a LITTLE FROG.....Wow, how are the students not having the balls to eat him??). And considering how some of the background characters look, this show isn't all too appealing.
Overall, this cartoon isn't considered that bad by most, but it's my personal thoughts on the premise of the cartoon that fills me with rage whenever I even think about the very title. It's a cartoon about animals. Seriously, since I've wanted to be a cartoonist for a while now, and I've always wondered, if I made a cartoon involving anthropomorphic animals, how would I make it? And then I look at My Gym Partner's a Monkey, realizing that the jackasses who made this screaming sack of crap got to my idea before me and made it into.....THAT. And since I watched Animal Planet almost all the time when I was eight years old, it REALLY irks me. Even Kenny the Shark had better writing AND they even included facts about certain animals (mostly sharks, because OBVS!) in the main plot and humor! Plus Kenny, who was a shark, was a much more fleshed out character and had a more anatomically correct design than Bull OR Slips! Did the creators of this damn show even BOTHER to look up certain tidbits of info about the animals the were designing, like, oh I don't know....THE FACT THAT SNAKES AND SHARKS CAN'T GROW HAIR?! I know these is only my opinion and if I offended anyone who likes this show, I'm sorry....But I just can't get over how much I hate this cartoon. I....I think I need to go eat some ice cream......
When I first watched this cartoon, I was twelve and actually enjoyed it. However, looking back on it now, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I EVER CONSIDERED THIS TO BE GOOD. The jokes and running gags are a little lame, some of the characters are two-dimensional, and the two main characters.....Well, Adam's a wimp and Jake's utterly annoying. And the moments of romance.....When people talk about bestiality, they bring up furries as a main point, or rather, that cutscene in Sonic '06. Bringing up furries is pretty much discriminatory, and Sonic '06......Okay, you got me there. But then, what's this bastard show's excuse?! And this was shown to little kids and older children, them being the target audience!
Anyways, I'll start things off with the beginning.....The opening. No really, the beginning of the story is summarized in the opening title sequence. Apparently there were two middle schools in town this series takes place in. One for humans, and the other, Charles Darwin Middle School, for animals. One day, Adam, a twelve-year-old human boy gets transferred to Charles Darwin Middle School because his last name is "Lyon" ....."Lion".....But with a "Y". And this is my first problem with this series. Why on earth didn't they transfer him back to his old middle school? Did they just decide to say "Fuck it, he's staying"? And I know I'm someone who is already aware of how non-existent the line between humans and animals seems to be nowadays, but I'm not looking at this plot point in that way at this moment. But yeah, he didn't get transferred, and now has to attend school with animals.
Now for the main characters. Adam is easily the one I really feel bad for. Reason being is that he's going to school with a bunch of animals. Some that might even try to rip him to shreds. Any normal twelve-year-old would cry for their mom in that kind of situation, which, shockingly enough, he doesn't do that often. But for the most part, he's made to be an utter wimp, or the character with some actual common sense, but his words are usually worthless in most of his situations, most of the time being the target of physical humor, the prey of some bigger stronger and hungrier predator or the victim of a beating / moment of intense embarrassment. And sadly, his best friend sometimes tends to make things even worse than they already are. Speaking of which....Jake. I FUCKING hate this one. In fact, HE'S the reason why I hate monkeys! This guy acts like an idiot, tries come off as Adam's best friend, and easily turns on him for "reasons" (whether it be his animal instinct or not), and for the most part, is an obnoxious asshole. Windsor the Gorilla has to be the best character in the show. He's the bookworm of the group and it shows, when he gives some pretty great words of wisdom, and tends to be the once with even more common sense than Adam, albeit just like most of the other animal students he doesn't use his common sense whenever he gets riled up. And whenever he acts odd or shy, I can't help but actually laugh a little.....Too bad he's a minor character compared to the first two I mentioned. Ingrid is like Hinata Hyuuga from the Naruto series. She's a little shy and has a secret crush on Adam, but doesn't want him too know right away. But the only memorable thing about her is her neck. No really, most of the time you'll only see her neck and body, but not her head. "Heheh, she's a giraffe and giraffes have long necks so it's funny because her neck stretches too far off screen-" Yeah I get it, but that's kind of lazy since that means that her head is pretty much cut out most of the time! And FYI, a giraffe's neck is usually about the same length as their spine, if not an inch or two shorter. Also, Ingrid and Windsor are probably the most likable and down-to-earth characters in the entire cartoon. There's also Slips the Python and Guadalupe the Toucan, but these two are almost lamer than Jake and Adam. Slips acts like a Shikamaru from Naruto......If Shikamaru was an idiot.....Yeah. And, since we're on the topic of Slips, WHY ON EARTH DOES HE EVEN HAVE A T-SHIRT?! SNAKES DON'T HAVE LIMBS!! And even if that wasn't a big issue to address, there's still the fact that he has hair.....A snake....That has HAIR.....WHY?? Lastly Guadalupe is.....Well, she's loud. And she might be Spanish.....So there's that. But yeah, most of these characters, if not all of them is pretty two-dimensional, and any quality to their personality that's seen in one episode is quickly forgotten in all the others. Really, I can understand when someone has a tendency to be inconsistent but that's just plain lazy if you're just gonna brush off something that makes a character more unique like it meant nothing. SpongeBob SquarePants does this all the time, and look how bad that show has gotten now! And I can't be the only one who questions why do some of the animal students who should have scales or not be able to grow hair or fur, have hair styles and even stubble on their faces! WHY?!
Next, the plot. Usually, it's the same thing every few episodes. A seemingly normal day (and I use the word "normal" loosely) occurs at school for Adam, Jake and their friends, Adam, Jake, Windsor or Ingrid, (it's usually one or more of those four, and almost never Guadalupe or Slips) get into a situation caused by either the other one of the previously mentioned four characters (also including Guadalupe as the fifth, but again usually not Slips) their teachers, principal, the school bully or a character(s) of the day, and they manage to resolve the problem through some harebrained solution and pass off their moment as nothing too big, all the while, throwing in all sorts of jokes to get their viewers laughing. This is my main issue. The humor. It's rarely ever clever or impressive, to be honest, and most of the time it falls on Jake to be the funny one. Ironically, even though he's the most annoying, he is a kind of funny character.....Until the writers decide to include him in some fart or butt jokes. After that, it gets a little irritating to continue watching without the urge to change the channel or find something different to watch. Farts aren't funny to everyone, and some people find that kind of humor gross or tasteless. Same with poop jokes or toilet humor- OH WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT! They've tried that stuff too! The first episode of Sonic Boom had the most clever writing I've ever seen anyone give to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Eggman. Why couldn't that team of writers be on My Gym Partner's a Monkey?! Hell, Skarow alone could write something better! Heck, I've been diagnosed with A.D.D. by a therapist and A.D.H.D. by my aunt (she used to be a teacher for the Special Ed students and has four kids who all graduated High school), and I could write something better, dammit!
The design. Usually the character design isn't much of a problem (Unless you're part of the Sonic fanbas- OW!! What the hell, who just threw a rock at my head?!), but that isn't the case with My Gym Partner's a Monkey. Most of the characters have pretty bland or god-awful designs, the worst two being for Bull Sharkowski and Slips, whose designs make little sense in some aspects. Adam and Jake aren't that impressive to look at, and the only two characters that actually have a pretty neat physical appearance are Windsor and Principal Pixelfrog (Yes, the principal is a LITTLE FROG.....Wow, how are the students not having the balls to eat him??). And considering how some of the background characters look, this show isn't all too appealing.
Overall, this cartoon isn't considered that bad by most, but it's my personal thoughts on the premise of the cartoon that fills me with rage whenever I even think about the very title. It's a cartoon about animals. Seriously, since I've wanted to be a cartoonist for a while now, and I've always wondered, if I made a cartoon involving anthropomorphic animals, how would I make it? And then I look at My Gym Partner's a Monkey, realizing that the jackasses who made this screaming sack of crap got to my idea before me and made it into.....THAT. And since I watched Animal Planet almost all the time when I was eight years old, it REALLY irks me. Even Kenny the Shark had better writing AND they even included facts about certain animals (mostly sharks, because OBVS!) in the main plot and humor! Plus Kenny, who was a shark, was a much more fleshed out character and had a more anatomically correct design than Bull OR Slips! Did the creators of this damn show even BOTHER to look up certain tidbits of info about the animals the were designing, like, oh I don't know....THE FACT THAT SNAKES AND SHARKS CAN'T GROW HAIR?! I know these is only my opinion and if I offended anyone who likes this show, I'm sorry....But I just can't get over how much I hate this cartoon. I....I think I need to go eat some ice cream......
*headbangs like its Heavy Metal Wednesday*
But still, I agree completely.