Well, today, i sat down, and looked over my life, more so, the past 2 years, and now i have finally came to forgiving my self. I just felt the urge to write this, as I'm sitting alone in my apartment, my wonderful mate, is on a trip with a friend. I remember when i first got into the fandom, a few years ago...it was wonderful, lots of fun, and it still is today, there were some events, more so around my birthday last year, that made me realize, how messed up, some people can really be, and how they can treat people in such ways, but, my renewal of intrest in the fandom, came, when my friend Doe, who is now my mate, invited me to MFF, my very first con....things were great, and to my surprise, i came back, with a renewed intrest, and love for the fandom, as well as a loving, caring mate, that honestly, i thought i would never find, due to my past experences, but that aside, i just felt like doing some writing to calm my nerves, and to quote a song, that has helped me greatly, since the events of October 2008,

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

Gone Forever - Three Days Grace