I've had a couple of friends tell me that I don't seem like myself. I guess you can say that's true as I'm still somewhat affected with what has happened regarding someone once close to me and his friend. Over time I'll be myself but until then, I'm still teeter-tottering in my emotions. Sad thing about all of this is I did get some artwork with my former friend. It's nothing naughty but it did show just how close him and I used to be....used to be...x.x;

I am a role player but as of late, because of some things that have happened, I honestly haven't had the heart to do any sort of role play. I even put my rp world on hiatus. No passion in it right now. Some people have tried to get me to rp but I just don't feel it anymore. Perhaps these feelings will fade and I'll start to rp again but with how I've been feeling lately, it's not likely.

Thanks to those who have helped me along the way with it and also understanding that I am still adjusting to my new job. I'm the Activities Director instead of a Cook at the nursing home I work in and I wake up early. By the time I get home, I'm so exhausted that I don't wish to do anything. My job does keep me busy so I don't have all this free time to think of a certain someone.

Other than that, I am doing pretty good. I've been re-uploading the commissions I have gotten over the years but I've added a little story to each picture plus lyrics to songs I believe fit the mood of the picture. I even have new artwork in the making and I can't wait; both of anthro and humanoid kitsune forms.

I unfortunately still harbor deep feelings for this friend of mine. I have dropped all communications with him on all chats and instant messengers in hopes these feelings for him just die. Really no use loving someone who doesn't love you the same way, but I guess it is my fault. I was too late, too blind and too stupid to realize he didn't love me in that aspect anymore...even when he had led me on into believing otherwise. What's really sad about all of this is I found out the truth from his friend, someone I had tried to become friends with myself but...well...that didn't work. Too much drama on all sides...probably most from my end. I really do hope he's happier without me in his life. From what I've seen, I guess she's really taking good care of him...and it hurts so much knowing that...;-;

Sorry my little rant is jumbled. I just had a lot on my chest to get off.

*wipes the tears from her eyes and stops writing*