So... just told my mom our Christmas plans...
To come up Christmas Eve... spend the night...and have Christmas with her side of the family.. leave there, and go to my nana on my dad's side and have late evening dinner with her...
Know what she says...
Since her new fiancee's going to be there, "they need time alone together"
and that "I understand what long distance relationships are like."
There goes my fucking "Merry Christmas"...
I had all the plans to come see you since I've been gone since June mom... The 1 fucking day of the year that i thought would be alright...
NOPE... FML...

I can't be with my fiancee' until HOPEFULLY next year...
I can't be with my mom for probably the last christmas of her living close enough to drive to in a day...
what else can fuck up my Christmas this year? OH wait. Lil sister broke my tablet..

I'm just waiting here now, crying, wondering what next is going to happen...
am I gonna get hurt? am I gonna be sick?
whatever it is.. make it happen to me..
not the family I love and not to my wife.
Let me take the brunt on it all.
Cause apparently, I'm being fucked over enough by life anyways...

Here's the message I left for my mom on facebook...
"Sorry grandma's not doing good. But to be honest. Fuck Ron. The fact is you knew that I'd be coming up for Christmas, and YOU didn't plan around the fact that I was coming to see you. You're own flesh and blood that you carried around for 9 months and had so many fucking hours of labor. I figured your own son's wishes to see his mother and family he hasn't seen since June would be more important since you're gonna apparently be living the whole fucking rest of your life with Ron. But I guess me being your one and only son doesn't matter to you all that much. I love you mom. I really do. You're my mom. and my only mom. But sometimes I seriously find doubt in ever calling anyone family and trusting anyone again. I'm gonna lay down and don't worry about christmas. I just won't come if Ron's so important. Have a lovely one Christmas with Ron and keep me posted about grandma edna. I love you mom."