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Taking stock of the last few years. (A story and thank you)
11 years ago
General
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Seeing as it is a time to reflect back on past years, I just wanted to take the time to put to words something I've realized as of late.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you. Over the last few years this fandom has been a source of support for me. A hand to help me up so to speak as I dealt with a bunch of real world issues.
First a lil history:
I started using the word furry in 2004, and for years I went on being the person I was told I should be by family, rl friends, and local society. Judgmental and ignorant. For bunch of years I felt very uncomfortable around other furs, or at least I felt that I should feel that way, having "learned" to treat people who were different than me with ire. I've gotten to meet a bunch of different people from almost as many lifestyles over the years, each one I've met chipping away at the hard shell of "dehumanization of the other". I started to realize the "others" I had been taught to fear and disdain were just other people, not really all that different from me after all.
Second:
As the shell started to crack, it became clear the ideas I held to be true were cracking as well. I started to realize things about myself that I had kept so repressed from myself I hadn't even acknowledged they existed. For a long time this made my life so much worse as I didn't know who I was anymore. This is where the fandom has been even more shining, my friends provided an absolutely needed hand to support, soundboard talk to, shoulder to cry on, and ear to vent into for years. I wouldn't be here without the support I've had in spades from all of you.
Finally:
I've finally figured out how to get my head around who I am, the work isn't completely done yet, but I'm am now more truly sure about who I am than I have ever been. It takes time to come to grips with the fact of who I was before, and take account of all the assumptions still left over before. I want to thank you all for sticking with me despite the amount of rantiness and venting I've done in the past. My "New years resolutions" so to speak for this year are:
1.) To end next year more "me" than the start of the year.
2.) To continue to refine my sense of the world and morals.
3.) To try and treat as many people as I can with respect.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you. Over the last few years this fandom has been a source of support for me. A hand to help me up so to speak as I dealt with a bunch of real world issues.
First a lil history:
I started using the word furry in 2004, and for years I went on being the person I was told I should be by family, rl friends, and local society. Judgmental and ignorant. For bunch of years I felt very uncomfortable around other furs, or at least I felt that I should feel that way, having "learned" to treat people who were different than me with ire. I've gotten to meet a bunch of different people from almost as many lifestyles over the years, each one I've met chipping away at the hard shell of "dehumanization of the other". I started to realize the "others" I had been taught to fear and disdain were just other people, not really all that different from me after all.
Second:
As the shell started to crack, it became clear the ideas I held to be true were cracking as well. I started to realize things about myself that I had kept so repressed from myself I hadn't even acknowledged they existed. For a long time this made my life so much worse as I didn't know who I was anymore. This is where the fandom has been even more shining, my friends provided an absolutely needed hand to support, soundboard talk to, shoulder to cry on, and ear to vent into for years. I wouldn't be here without the support I've had in spades from all of you.
Finally:
I've finally figured out how to get my head around who I am, the work isn't completely done yet, but I'm am now more truly sure about who I am than I have ever been. It takes time to come to grips with the fact of who I was before, and take account of all the assumptions still left over before. I want to thank you all for sticking with me despite the amount of rantiness and venting I've done in the past. My "New years resolutions" so to speak for this year are:
1.) To end next year more "me" than the start of the year.
2.) To continue to refine my sense of the world and morals.
3.) To try and treat as many people as I can with respect.
Happy new year, Sub.