I had a argument with my close friends because of ethnicity and it's just I've been having fights with a lot of people in 2014 trying to protect myself and my mom from negativity and I'm getting so tired of living that I really don't want to go on in life I'm just over my dad and my older brother PJ and my living situation and my on and off friendship with Joanne and I'm just stressing out about caring about things and worrying it's beating me down and I'm tired of staying strong and trying to live on I would be okay and happy if I where to die today or any day soon I know my mom is just as tired of life but she stays strong for me and I feel bad but I honestly want for both us to leave this world because it's not worth it anymore things might never get better and I don't know if goals will be reached and I don't want to stick it through I asked her today if it would be okay to have her drive into a semi- truck and she was quiet and I told her my only fear is that after both of us are dead that they would blame her for our deaths when that's not the case I asked her to kill us both because I don't want to kill myself and have my mom experience losing her youngest only daughter I rather have her go first and me follow but I really much prefer we both go together hand in hand....I'm just really tired...if anything happens ever in 2015 I want the truth to be known and I'm sorry to my brother Daniel who wanted me to go on in life but I just really couldn't go on I hope you understand if you don't I'm so sorry but being suicidal and depressed really take a toll on you