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Keeping to myself
10 years ago
I know many of you won't read this, but I need to put it down somewhere.
I've decided to dial back on social interations beyond social media. Ive been feeling less and less of any real worth outside the internet. I know this may sound like Boo-hoo whining, but I cant shake any of these feelings.
Its literally been bringing me to tears thinking about hanging out with anyone, not feeling worth the time anymore. No one person has really done anything to bring about these feelings. Just feels that everyone seems to be moving on in life, while I sit and stagnate further. Even some of my closer friends are growing more and more distant from me. For what ever reason they may.
There are some that I dont even really talk to outside being there in person, and sadly they are across the continent. Really hurts sometimes when I cant just enjoy the company of anyone without fears in my head making me sit back to think that I shouldnt be where I currently am.
During these next few months, I will be working on bettering myself so that I might have a higher opinion of myself. More confidence. Maybe then I can return to being a "normal" person. Who knows....
My thoughts have been getting more negative every day, even with these plans in place that are easily followed. Some even getting dark... and those ones scare me. Make me feel rather defeated and just wanting to give up. This doesnt mean hurting myself or anything like that, you can rest easy there. It means just shutting myself out from the world thinking I genuinely wont be missed.
Just dont know what to do anymore beyond word out my frustrations.
If you want to contact me my twitter is Glaidec you can msg me here anywhere (all venues are opened and checked frequently) Face book exists.. but I dont check it enough to warrent having it or being contacted via it.
My steam ID is Glaide if you want to check me out there as well. Speaking of steam... its sad when your love for video games feels like a chore to get to. My mind is so plagued that I dont even want to get around to doing that anymore. Yet I buy new things to play more games. More up to date games.
Anyways I'm honestly rambling at this point. If you read through this, thank you very much. If not.. well thats honestly what the back of my head is expecting these days. Thats okay too though. Its never fun reading crap journals like this.
Again... I will be keeping to social media, just a little less active. I just will be cutting my real life interactions down, as I dont feel others have a need for me to really be around anymore.
Thanks again for reading this. Take care folks.
I've decided to dial back on social interations beyond social media. Ive been feeling less and less of any real worth outside the internet. I know this may sound like Boo-hoo whining, but I cant shake any of these feelings.
Its literally been bringing me to tears thinking about hanging out with anyone, not feeling worth the time anymore. No one person has really done anything to bring about these feelings. Just feels that everyone seems to be moving on in life, while I sit and stagnate further. Even some of my closer friends are growing more and more distant from me. For what ever reason they may.
There are some that I dont even really talk to outside being there in person, and sadly they are across the continent. Really hurts sometimes when I cant just enjoy the company of anyone without fears in my head making me sit back to think that I shouldnt be where I currently am.
During these next few months, I will be working on bettering myself so that I might have a higher opinion of myself. More confidence. Maybe then I can return to being a "normal" person. Who knows....
My thoughts have been getting more negative every day, even with these plans in place that are easily followed. Some even getting dark... and those ones scare me. Make me feel rather defeated and just wanting to give up. This doesnt mean hurting myself or anything like that, you can rest easy there. It means just shutting myself out from the world thinking I genuinely wont be missed.
Just dont know what to do anymore beyond word out my frustrations.
If you want to contact me my twitter is Glaidec you can msg me here anywhere (all venues are opened and checked frequently) Face book exists.. but I dont check it enough to warrent having it or being contacted via it.
My steam ID is Glaide if you want to check me out there as well. Speaking of steam... its sad when your love for video games feels like a chore to get to. My mind is so plagued that I dont even want to get around to doing that anymore. Yet I buy new things to play more games. More up to date games.
Anyways I'm honestly rambling at this point. If you read through this, thank you very much. If not.. well thats honestly what the back of my head is expecting these days. Thats okay too though. Its never fun reading crap journals like this.
Again... I will be keeping to social media, just a little less active. I just will be cutting my real life interactions down, as I dont feel others have a need for me to really be around anymore.
Thanks again for reading this. Take care folks.
Always nice hearing from you. Keep at it yourself! <3
I have had similar thoughts. Just in general though, thoughts of others, not me specifically. My own observations are that others are feeling like the people in their lives are getting so focused/busy in their day-to-day that we are all starting to feel a little more isolated.
I for one still talk about you way over here in Bermuda, about my con Buddies. I miss you all.
Take the time to reflect, and know that as things are, they are just gonna get better, i have a good feeling my friend :3
Gonna send you a "happy solitude time" cake, just let me know the flavor bud!
peace~
As for the time to reflect. I plan to use any solitude I inflict upon myself as a result of this to better myself and remove issues in my head that I find with myself. Cleaning up the physical clutter in my life as well as some of the mental clutter.
Thank you again for being yourself an awesome guy! Gotta say your smile is an infectious one. Shame it stays on an island heh.
Buyt yeah, certainly going to take time to reflect on myself. Its needed. Ive been sitting around for so long only doing so much to help myself at all. Its getting stale, Im getting older.. its just not a mix that works anymore.
Thanks again for your reply dude!
*Hugs*