So, I just had to post this conversation I had with a team leader at work the other day. It is sad that this is the quality of people on production at my work.


Team Leader: Can I ask you a quick question?

Me: Sure.

Team Leader: How do I turn-on an ocelot?

Me: I would suggest scratching behind its ear, nipping at its neck fur and purring softly.

Team Leader: What are you talking about?

Me: Ocelots. I must caution you against any mating attempts with large cats though.

Team Leader: What? No! I just want to turn-on the ocelot on my machine.

Me: If there's an ocelot on your machine, you should leave it alone.

Team Leader: I can't. The message on the machine says that I need to turn-on the ocelot.

Me: I highly doubt that. It is probably telling you to turn-on the oscillator.

Team Leader: No, I'm sure it says ocelot.

Me: Do me a favour and turn-on the switch on the side of the machine labelled 'oscillator' and I'm sure the fault will clear.

Team Leader: Fine.

***10 minutes later***

Me: Did you manage to turn-on your ocelot.

Team Leader: Shut-up.