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Two, nearly three years of crap. Finally over.
10 years ago
Over the past couple of years I've been posting these "where the hell have I been journals" updating you guys with all of the things that have been going on with me because I kept having to leave. From the very first problem of losing my computer so long ago, to moving, to dealing with family issues, to horrible things involving my ex. I haven't had the chance to tell you what happened to me at all in 2014.
At the beginning of 2014 during the winter, I was involved in a snow-drift related crash. I lost my second job because I couldn't travel there. I got a new second job. Turns out the owner was absolutely insane, like seriously bonkers. Mental hospital bonkers. Couldn't work there, either. The reason I kept trying to find a second job was to move away from my boyfriend at the time. From dealing with him threatening to strangle me or hang my dogs by their necks, I couldn't work on anything or be me without stepping on glass. I had only one part time job but I needed to get out. So I found a new apartment a few towns away. In May, I became homeless. I lived in my car, stayed at my mom's when I could, and left my job at the German Shepherd Breeder (An employee there was abusive to the animals. Owner refused to do anything. I couldn't take it). I was taken in by a couple of friends in Wisconsin. I planned on staying with them for a couple of weeks so I could find a new job and get back on my feet. Two weeks turned into two months because I lived in the middle of nowhere land with them and there just wasn't any opportunity there. So I stretched out further, looking up to an hour's length drive away. I found a job at the Humane Society several towns away. I saved my paychecks until I had a couple grand so I could move out, and then my car needed a new trans, fuel injector died, muffler broke in half, and all three doors except the drivers door are permanently shut because the locks don't work (That's the one problem I didn't bother fixing). So there went all my saved money.
Then, as I had to re-save money, it turned into five months. Zona makes a mistake and shits on my friends bathroom floor, and then I'm right back where I started. I had to give up my dogs and find a new place to stay. But because I got them from the motherfucking breeder, guess where they are at right at this moment. I had no choice. I'm getting them back, though... I hope... x.x
So September gets here. A very dear friend takes me in. I cannot have my dogs here. Now, we are together. We have found a house and just signed a lease a couple of days ago for a new place where we can keep my dogs. I'll be seeing Zona and Jericho on the last day of January assuming they don't try to keep them from me. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am. I haven't seen them in so long. I miss them so much.
And on top of that, I've had to fight to get my FA account back, I've had to reorder my car's title information, and have had to reorder my SS card and birth certificate because my ex decided to keep it all from me.
But the worst part of this all, was as I was homeless, living in my car, trying to keep a hold on my life, I lost my father. He went to visit his sister in PA and went in his sleep. He died just a few days after my birthday in July. For those of you that know me, you know my father was the only person who kept me sane, who saved me when my mother's crazy boyfriend tried to stab me, who gave me everything I needed and taught me so much. I loved him more than life itself. I cannot tell you how much this hurts. Ironically, my lease starts on February 1st, his birthday. I can only wonder if I have him to thank for it.
I don't know what to tell any of you except that I am so tremendously sorry. I am slowly getting back to everything I left here. Complete unfinished trades, I have a couple of people that I owe some funds (Thankfully not very much), and all I can do is try to sort it out and do the best I can to tie up any loose ends and try to make every last damn one of you happy.
I created a Weasyl - "Sanka Anka" and I made a new DeviantArt: PearledWolfess. There's not much on either of them just yet. I'll likely just post new stuff as I go along.
Love,
Bir
At the beginning of 2014 during the winter, I was involved in a snow-drift related crash. I lost my second job because I couldn't travel there. I got a new second job. Turns out the owner was absolutely insane, like seriously bonkers. Mental hospital bonkers. Couldn't work there, either. The reason I kept trying to find a second job was to move away from my boyfriend at the time. From dealing with him threatening to strangle me or hang my dogs by their necks, I couldn't work on anything or be me without stepping on glass. I had only one part time job but I needed to get out. So I found a new apartment a few towns away. In May, I became homeless. I lived in my car, stayed at my mom's when I could, and left my job at the German Shepherd Breeder (An employee there was abusive to the animals. Owner refused to do anything. I couldn't take it). I was taken in by a couple of friends in Wisconsin. I planned on staying with them for a couple of weeks so I could find a new job and get back on my feet. Two weeks turned into two months because I lived in the middle of nowhere land with them and there just wasn't any opportunity there. So I stretched out further, looking up to an hour's length drive away. I found a job at the Humane Society several towns away. I saved my paychecks until I had a couple grand so I could move out, and then my car needed a new trans, fuel injector died, muffler broke in half, and all three doors except the drivers door are permanently shut because the locks don't work (That's the one problem I didn't bother fixing). So there went all my saved money.
Then, as I had to re-save money, it turned into five months. Zona makes a mistake and shits on my friends bathroom floor, and then I'm right back where I started. I had to give up my dogs and find a new place to stay. But because I got them from the motherfucking breeder, guess where they are at right at this moment. I had no choice. I'm getting them back, though... I hope... x.x
So September gets here. A very dear friend takes me in. I cannot have my dogs here. Now, we are together. We have found a house and just signed a lease a couple of days ago for a new place where we can keep my dogs. I'll be seeing Zona and Jericho on the last day of January assuming they don't try to keep them from me. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am. I haven't seen them in so long. I miss them so much.
And on top of that, I've had to fight to get my FA account back, I've had to reorder my car's title information, and have had to reorder my SS card and birth certificate because my ex decided to keep it all from me.
But the worst part of this all, was as I was homeless, living in my car, trying to keep a hold on my life, I lost my father. He went to visit his sister in PA and went in his sleep. He died just a few days after my birthday in July. For those of you that know me, you know my father was the only person who kept me sane, who saved me when my mother's crazy boyfriend tried to stab me, who gave me everything I needed and taught me so much. I loved him more than life itself. I cannot tell you how much this hurts. Ironically, my lease starts on February 1st, his birthday. I can only wonder if I have him to thank for it.
I don't know what to tell any of you except that I am so tremendously sorry. I am slowly getting back to everything I left here. Complete unfinished trades, I have a couple of people that I owe some funds (Thankfully not very much), and all I can do is try to sort it out and do the best I can to tie up any loose ends and try to make every last damn one of you happy.
I created a Weasyl - "Sanka Anka" and I made a new DeviantArt: PearledWolfess. There's not much on either of them just yet. I'll likely just post new stuff as I go along.
Love,
Bir
I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. I was wondering what happened to you. Truth be told, I was not having a good time either and also lost a dog, a job, and a grandparent so trust me when I say, I completely understand what you're going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I;m glad you're getting things back on track and I only wish you the best.
*hugs*
sounds like things go uphill again, finally. here's for a brandnew, improved, shiny, washable, non-iron, fully-warranted year! ^.^
hm, Sanka Anka. the name of the german sheperd I grew up with was Anka... :)
out of curiosity- and please, don't feel any obligation to answer this- the abusive boyfriend. was he the same one who introduced us at MCC? I've kind of wondered what happened there, and if you'd like, maybe we could talk about it sometime. I don't know about you, but it might give me a bit of closure on the terrible aspects of my own relationship with him, and what he did to me.
if it's not him, excuse me! I'm not trying to pry or anything.
if you're ever in my neck of the woods, hit me up- I would love to catch up sometime. I regret that we didn't get to be friends for very long, and that we never got to be closer.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that things continue to look up for you!
Nat
I would love to get together and catch up. I also regret it. There's not really a lot of people that I open up to, and I know in the short time you and I knew each other during school we seemed to clique pretty well. We could do art sometime or something, perhaps. <3
Jen
I get so infuriated just THINKING about them. He tore ALL my friends away from, every last one of them. I am repulsed that it ever even happened.
every time I'm in Harvard, I'm terrified that I'm going to run into him or his family again. he's the very worst kind of person and he was raised to be that way. I'm so sorry I didn't at least try to tell you about him when I found out you two were dating- I didn't want to be THAT ex... but I should have. even if it didn't change anything, I should have tried.
if you're ever in Chicago, let me know? I would love to grab a coffee or something, but I don't get up north very often anymore. living in Rockford kind of ruined it for me haha.
I would love to come to Chicago for a coffee! Whereabouts are you staying?
I technically live down in Bridgeport, but I'm only there like once a week as I've basically moved in with my girlfriend at this point, haha. so I spend all of my time in Lakeview/Boystown. but I can easily get anywhere in Chicago! my days off are almost always tues/weds.
(if you want to get in touch with me more conveniently, hmu on facebook xD; I don't really get on here that often. I've mostly been logging in to reply to you but I keep forgetting. oops!)
While I'd love to make this my first job, yarn tails are incredibly tedious to make and I have a larger passion that I am working toward - I currently work for the Humane Society and have plans on attending the Tom Rose School in MO learning IPO, and someday would love to "retire" from yarn tails and spend my life selling working/service dogs and donating service dogs to retired war vets when I can. If I can reach becoming a Military Dog trainer, that would be a dream. So for now, while I have no money and am working on establishing credit to get a loan for school, I work at the Humane Society as part of their medical team. : )
For now, my tails extend my paycheck just enough to get things that I need. A few tails ago paid for a major car expense that I had (Needed a new muffler), the last tail I sold got my dog an emergency surgery she needed, and I have various other things that I'd like to acquire - My work check pays for the bills/food/home stuff, my tails pay for all the things inbetween like movies/books/major needed things/etc.
If your coworkers want tails, I'm wide open for commissions and desperately need them - I have a couple spots left for this month, next month is open, and I'd be happy to give you a free tail if you got them to commission me, LOL! I'm doing something similar for a friend of mine - I have a gigantic tabby cat tail that he is taking to his local fur meet and will be selling it there - I told him I'd make him a free tail and split profits with him for getting my name out there.
<3