Well, I understand completely your situation right now enough to know that the best solution isn't really possible right now. That best solution is time with a licensed and qualified mental health professional. That type of person could help you to fully understand your fears and aversions to handling the required tasks and responsibilities of living as an adult.

Having said that, knowing it really isn't an option for you at this time, I think that the best thing you can do is to acknowledge that you are having difficulty and that this doesn't mean you're broken or twisted or subpar. There's always a learning curve and if you weren't taught how to live like an adult, this is all new territory to you and probably pretty terrifying. Rent? Health insurance?!? A will?!!!? D: It can overwhelm anyone who isn't prepared, regardless of whether they've been in a facility for depression or not.

Asking for help is the number one toolyou have on your side. But remember that there is a difference between asking for help and asking for someone to do it all for you. "I have no idea how filing taxes work, do you know anything about it?" is different than asking "I have no idea how filing taxes work, can you file mine for me?".

Sometimes you won't have a friend who can help you. That's when you need to use this internet thing for more than socializing. Google is amazing even if it is a little bit overwhelming. Take it slow, use it to help zero you into an actual person you can talk to.

Don't be afraid of looking foolish. That old saying of "Here is no such thing as a dumb question" is true. Its okay to not have all the knowledge or experience. If you don't understand, say so. No one will judge you for it. They'll just try again to put it in a way that you do understand. Everyone else is human too and usually remember that when answering your questions.

I hope this didnt come across as aloof or pompous. I hope hat it helps boost your confidence. You're amazing buddy and you can do anything that you want to. You just need to learn how to ask and who to ask to accomplish that learning.

That's definitely an area I can sympathize with, and I'm not sure I can offer the best advice, as I'm struggling with the same difficulties myself. From what I've researched online and worked on personally, there are often different little classes -even ones that are free, from what we've found here- that offer classes that are designed to advise people on living as adults more efficiently. Sometimes they're classes about looking for jobs, or practicing for job interviews, or learning how to budget, or learning how to balance your check book (if anyone does that anymore). Here there's a set of them offered at Work Source, and others offered at the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. I guess that's primarily for job-related stuff, but that brings me to my next point...

Even outside of the confidence, in the meantime of not being able to afford therapy, sometimes it does amazing wonders for depression to just try to distract yourself from it. Scheduling yourself for walks, for free classes you can attend, for meetings with friends -- just the very act of making and sticking with a schedule can do a lot to help keep your mind on productive tasks instead of letting it fall back into the dumps. That way you also have a bit of a defensive tactic with the depression if the sadness creeps up on you again -- even if you're having struggles, you did a couple things on your schedule, and therefore did do something productive, so it's easier to fight the feeling that you haven't been productive or made the best use of your time, which is a big issue in that 'adulthood' business.

Also, it might help to tackle those things in smaller pieces? Set a timer to go off every x-amount of minutes and, at that point, you can go do some pre-decided relaxing activity that you know will help you calm down without sucking your attention for too long, and go back to the primary task when you're calm again, until you finish it. Surprisingly enough, the timer thing really helps if it's either sections of ten or thirty minutes, because they add up a lot faster than you expect, and you only end up needing a couple before you're done with what felt like a giant task. Not always, but it can help.

Hope I helped, Torchie. <3

(random stranger enters four months later)

I've also been struggling with this same issue =/. I have a hard time motivating myself as well to try to something 'adult'-like. What's helped me is to think that I'm doing it for someone else. Not that it affects me, but the ones I care for. I happen to be codependent, though, so it works for me to think of my family or fiancé and how it'll benefit them. I'm sorry if that might not work for you, but it's just what's worked for me ._.

But if you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. I can understand where you're coming from, though. I have anxiety, depression, and bipolar, as well as being in a mental ward for a while myself. So if you want to talk with someone who might can understand where you're coming from, I'm here.

I hope that it all works out for you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.