I'm so tired of this crap... don't get me wrong, I have a great time with my friends at the fur meets, and the few I have outside the community, but I'm so tired of coming home and finding that I'm still completely and totally, undeniably and irrefutably alone. The only thing I could ever ask for in this world is to have someone to come home to. A face that was warm and welcoming, and arms that wouldn't hesitate to hold me. I hide this wish from the world to keep from coming across as desperate... but it never does a damn bit of good. The revelations I've faced as of late have taught me more about how to treat the people around me, and I desperately miss being able to give and get the affection that comes with a proper relationship. So what the hell do I have to do to find one single girl that won't just piss off the first time I mention being interested in them... am I really that disgusting, has my wholely undeserved bad reputation spread to all corners of the earth? Honestly, I'm beginning to believe that it has.
Anyone who knows me really well, knows they type of girl I'm interested in... is it too much to ask that a girl like that doesn't turn her nose up at me before they get to know me? There in again, I'm honestly beginning to think that is is too much to ask... and that I should just give up on ever trying to have a relationship, let alone a family... I really hate how superficial this world is now a days... guys like me are so hard to find it's easier to say we don't exist, and it's because nobody is willing to dig deep enough. I'm really tempted to say fuck it and get a vasectomy so there is no reason for me to get into a relationship. Even though I want a family even worse than I want a relationship...