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A little more about me
11 years ago
General
I can be such a slow person :I Today I just barely realized about the Incognito browse and that it can bypass Parental Control, which is why I haven't been very active on Furaffinity. Sorry guys I guarantee I will come back with more art eventually, after this term of college is done. Well anyway I want to talk little bit about myself.
Why?
Because there are things that needs to be cleared up from my past on the past several years being on the internet and since I'm turning 20 soon I think its time to start fresh and tells truths.
Recently I have been over thinking a lot and reflected on my past and I must say I was one fucked kid :I
I started being on the internet when I was about 11 and my first website I joined was Deviantart (DA) even though the rules was to be 13 to join, but like any average kid I lied on that hah! I know I started a lot of trouble on there by literally copying people's ideas because I was young and dumb I won't sugar coat that when its true. Do I regret what I have done, in a way yes I do but in a way no because if I haven't then I wouldn't have learned my lesson and I wouldn't be working on my style as we speak today. I probably would be copying someone else's style. To this day I barely get noticed on DA because the system is so RIGGED!!! Oh well I could care less, one day I'll shine. Because of those incidents I ended up finding Furaffinity and developed an interest in the Anthro community and joined here when I was like 14? 15? I don't know, but I know I've been here long enough to see more mistakes from me. When I was younger I wasn't fully...mentally stabled? I don't think anyone is when all those hormones and teen angst kicks in. Well anyway I joined here like no biggie and had a different personality and I was even more stupid. Over time there were several artists' styles I liked and somewhat wanted to replicate it for myself since during that time I was exploring my own style, but I struggled. However, I wouldn't admit that I tried replicating them and didn't want to put them up on this account so I ended up making other accounts and one of them was notorious in replicating (at the time who was my favorite artist) Bernard's style. Obviously that account set up a lot of troubles even I couldn't handle and tried to be so fake by taking on another personality that is wayyy older than I could handle. It caused many stress for me and I became the most fakes person by developing even more of a mentally unstable attitude and decisions. What was I did? I ended up sock-puppet my accounts I made to...I guess you could say to make me feel better that I was a better artist. Again I was young and dumb at the time. It went on for years like YEARS even I did sock puppet on DA. I have gained nothing from that experience and I lied and fooled myself for it. I knew it wouldn't last I knew someone would find out all those accounts just link to me in the end, so when I started High School up until my Sophomore (10) year I stopped going on FA and restricted myself on DA, but even at that I wasn't as active. Because I met someone who was the most realist person ever, he was honest and genuine and most of all handsome! As being friends he meant a lot to me that's when I realized and saw all of my dumb mistakes I have done. I told myself: what was I doing to myself? Why am I pretending to be someone I am not? Why am I making these fake personas and pretend they are my friends when in the end they are just me? I ended up receiving help as well with medical help and some life evaluation meditation to find a new me or find where I actually went? Since its been about 5 years now has passed and I know the damage I have done to myself are more than just skin deep and scars will forever be there, but you know what guys. At least I am willing to admit what I have done wrong and I will carry the burden that I have done and wear these scars not for shame, but to make me thank for what I did, because now I am a new person. I am just me. All those account I made and replicated art, are going to be wiped clean. Sorry if you guys liked the artworks, but I am not bringing them here. Also with that being said I did some Nazi artwork? I'll be deleting those too since those are even more of a burden to me to see and once again I will say I was young and dumb. If you guys read this, I thank you for your time and I am sorry for fooling you I guess? Now its all over and in the past. If I want to bring happiness to this world I just gotta be me! You guys are my inspiration and I promise I bring good deeds to you for all those mistakes. Bye my loves I will be back for more art.
P.S...that guy I mentioned who was real and genuine...he's currently my boyfriend! Yas! But no one cares about my personal life...squeeeee
Why?
Because there are things that needs to be cleared up from my past on the past several years being on the internet and since I'm turning 20 soon I think its time to start fresh and tells truths.
Recently I have been over thinking a lot and reflected on my past and I must say I was one fucked kid :I
I started being on the internet when I was about 11 and my first website I joined was Deviantart (DA) even though the rules was to be 13 to join, but like any average kid I lied on that hah! I know I started a lot of trouble on there by literally copying people's ideas because I was young and dumb I won't sugar coat that when its true. Do I regret what I have done, in a way yes I do but in a way no because if I haven't then I wouldn't have learned my lesson and I wouldn't be working on my style as we speak today. I probably would be copying someone else's style. To this day I barely get noticed on DA because the system is so RIGGED!!! Oh well I could care less, one day I'll shine. Because of those incidents I ended up finding Furaffinity and developed an interest in the Anthro community and joined here when I was like 14? 15? I don't know, but I know I've been here long enough to see more mistakes from me. When I was younger I wasn't fully...mentally stabled? I don't think anyone is when all those hormones and teen angst kicks in. Well anyway I joined here like no biggie and had a different personality and I was even more stupid. Over time there were several artists' styles I liked and somewhat wanted to replicate it for myself since during that time I was exploring my own style, but I struggled. However, I wouldn't admit that I tried replicating them and didn't want to put them up on this account so I ended up making other accounts and one of them was notorious in replicating (at the time who was my favorite artist) Bernard's style. Obviously that account set up a lot of troubles even I couldn't handle and tried to be so fake by taking on another personality that is wayyy older than I could handle. It caused many stress for me and I became the most fakes person by developing even more of a mentally unstable attitude and decisions. What was I did? I ended up sock-puppet my accounts I made to...I guess you could say to make me feel better that I was a better artist. Again I was young and dumb at the time. It went on for years like YEARS even I did sock puppet on DA. I have gained nothing from that experience and I lied and fooled myself for it. I knew it wouldn't last I knew someone would find out all those accounts just link to me in the end, so when I started High School up until my Sophomore (10) year I stopped going on FA and restricted myself on DA, but even at that I wasn't as active. Because I met someone who was the most realist person ever, he was honest and genuine and most of all handsome! As being friends he meant a lot to me that's when I realized and saw all of my dumb mistakes I have done. I told myself: what was I doing to myself? Why am I pretending to be someone I am not? Why am I making these fake personas and pretend they are my friends when in the end they are just me? I ended up receiving help as well with medical help and some life evaluation meditation to find a new me or find where I actually went? Since its been about 5 years now has passed and I know the damage I have done to myself are more than just skin deep and scars will forever be there, but you know what guys. At least I am willing to admit what I have done wrong and I will carry the burden that I have done and wear these scars not for shame, but to make me thank for what I did, because now I am a new person. I am just me. All those account I made and replicated art, are going to be wiped clean. Sorry if you guys liked the artworks, but I am not bringing them here. Also with that being said I did some Nazi artwork? I'll be deleting those too since those are even more of a burden to me to see and once again I will say I was young and dumb. If you guys read this, I thank you for your time and I am sorry for fooling you I guess? Now its all over and in the past. If I want to bring happiness to this world I just gotta be me! You guys are my inspiration and I promise I bring good deeds to you for all those mistakes. Bye my loves I will be back for more art.
P.S...that guy I mentioned who was real and genuine...he's currently my boyfriend! Yas! But no one cares about my personal life...squeeeee
