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Feeling unwelcome in the community
10 years ago
Those who saw my twitter may of seen my "leaving the fandom tweet". Whilst these words get tossed around quite a bit, I myself after being apart of the community for 15 years have never said those words before.
You see, it's not that I want to leave the fandom, more, take a step back from it. The fact is, i'm becoming more and more burned with the community and efforts just don't seem worth the time any more.
Part of my problem and stress in life is putting to much on my plate. The two things that stress me out the most are Duke and my business Squeak Latex. Efforts in both aspects are created to entertain or benefit the community, but are being brought down by individuals ruining it for myself and the rest of you.
We'll start with Squeak Latex. Though not every ones thing, I created a company so those like myself into latex and inflation/inflatable suits would have access to designs at a reasonable price. I've invested years into the company and ended up being tens of thousands out of pocket to invest and get this started up. The problem is I have some people who hate me or the company for what ever reason. These are people whom share the same interest yet dislike what I've created. Some of these people undermine me by going behind my back to other suppliers or even my own to have my designs copied. They then gloat about this fact. I've lost my cool at them for doing this and felt very betrayed by the community. Apparently this makes me the bad guy for getting upset when people buy copies of my stuff.
I'm a small business, I can't survive when individuals do that sort of thing to me. The only reason they do it is to destroy what I do. I don't blame the Chinese companies for copying my stuff, I blame the buyer that asks them to do it.
It keeps happening and i'm about to call it quits if the community I invested so much money in, to create a product for them wants to do this to me. Congratulations guys who hate Squeak, you win.
Regarding Duke. As a long time suit performer both professionally outside the fandom and with in it, I've never hid from the spotlight. I love suit performing and was the reason I found furry in the first place, it was somewhere I could freelance with a hobby that I enjoy so very much. In the last few years, i'm finding myself ostracized from certain groups and feeling like my efforts are simply not worth my time anymore. Perhaps it makes me a bad person, but being rewarded for ones efforts and contribution is always nice. I see it happening to friends around me and to other fellow performers. Yet I feel due to peoples personal opinions of me, this will never come true.
I receive countless comments a day from fans who love what i do. My youtube channel has just shy of 15,000 subscribers and just under 1,000,000 views across only a dozen videos of which i've only been on youtube for 3 years. I'm proud about these facts and I couldn't of done it with out the help of some very wonderful people.
Ever since I entered the fandom back in the 90's I've always dreamed of doing really impressive things such a big group dancers with lots of costumes, music videos and high quality content. With technology being so readily available, I've now, with effort been able to organize and make this happen. Creating a personality like Duke has been a lot of fun and people all around really do enjoy what i'm doing.
Here is the woe is me part, which i'm not sure makes me selfish or a bad person.
You see, my peers and those I look up to don't seem to want me, or like me. I have tens of thousands of fans who love what I do, yet other either well known personalities or convention organizers don't. Dancer fur groups don't want to promote or share the group dances I create for everyone to join into. I create these so everyone can participate, it's for everyone of all levels. Perhaps it's because organizers of that group didn't come up with the idea, or i'm not buddy buddy with them.
Singer furs (bar a couple) never promote or comment on what I do. These are people I thought where friends yet seem to show only support for themselves and what they create. Here I am happy to retweet, listen and comment on peoples creative skills of those I look up to, yet never receive the same in return. Same goes for dancer furs content.
I'm not one of the cool kids, i'm not in the cliques or groups. I support and promote as much furry content and peoples efforts as I can, yet it seems to be cliques or individuals that are only in it for themselves and don't care about people outside their own groups or even themselves.
We then have convention or event organizers. Same thing goes, I believe I call these people my friends, yet they don't seem to want me to contribute. Be it shows, hosting, MCing and so on they all seem so very disinterested in having me. I'm not talking GOH or anything like that either. These are conventions I've already booked and paid for and would cost them nothing. I'm not going to lie, I work in promotions and entertainment for a living and i'm good at what I do. I would draw more people to an event and offer high quality content. I've offered and they're just not going for it. I've never really understood why?
I've promoted these conventions free of charge through my music videos. People new to the fandom have told me they've gone to these particular conventions because of how amazing it all looked in my videos.
But screw it, let us touch on the Guest Of Honor thing. I've never been a guest of honor at a convention. I see furries being rewarded and honored by their efforts and contribution to the fandom. Getting flown all around the country and planet, some nothing more than "looking cute" as a skill. Not taking anything away from these people, they've created a well liked character and personality.
Then there is me...
Singer, Dancer and performer. Costume builder, artist, pro mascot, creator of Australia's largest furry convention. Host/MC and organizer/creator of some of the most popular furry videos online.
I guess i'm just not what anyone is looking for. Or perhaps because these major conventions already get free advertising out of me via tweets and music videos that there isn't any point putting money into something they get for free. I'm a business man, I get it, they've made money from me.
Lastly is the patreon thing. I can't really complain or comment about this, though it is disappointing to see that out of 15,000 subscribers only 20 of you like me enough to swing a couple of dollars my way for the entertainment given.
This was created not to make profit but to be able to do more. I've only made $180 with one video so far and that money was put towards a portable PA speaker to use during the filming of the big group music videos. Which is great! Wonderful! I guess i'm somewhat jealous to see other artists and musicians getting so much backing and support for their content (Sometimes thousands). Considering that I release only 6 - 10 videos a year (if that) it would cost my average Patreon user $6 - $10, the same cost as a McDonalds meal to have me create bigger and better things for them and the community.
The dream was to create a huge pop style concert/show and tour around each convention, but can't with out fan backing/support nor am wanted by convention organizers to host the show. So, i'm giving up...
Anyway, perhaps this is a bit of a selfish rant and perhaps it's wrong to feel under appreciated or under supported by the community. But, this is how I feel and i'm feeling burned out from it.
I'm sure people will say, oh but you should do this for yourself and not for others. That's fine, but I create this level or production and effort for the community, not for myself. If I was suiting for myself, i'd simply go to a convention with no commitments and just walk around in suit, blend in. Not spend days/weeks planning music videos and such.
In fact, I probably wouldn't even attend conventions and would end up spending my own funds on holidays to other locations.
It's why i'm thinking of taking a step back from contributing to the community, both Latex/Inflatable and Fursuit.
I've been doing it for 15 years and although I have many friends and fond memories. There is just to much stress and drama these days, as well as an unwelcome feeling from other groups.
I'm not saying I won't still talk with those friendships I've made in the fandom and honestly i'm not leaving the fandom. Simply changing how I act in it and where time, effort and money goes.
There will still be a couple more music videos which have already been filmed to be released. I'm just no longer promising i'll be doing any more in the future.
This was a very hard subject to come out about and I hope I don't come off egotistical or selfish, it's just how i'm feeling about my position in the community these days.
Thank you for listening.
You see, it's not that I want to leave the fandom, more, take a step back from it. The fact is, i'm becoming more and more burned with the community and efforts just don't seem worth the time any more.
Part of my problem and stress in life is putting to much on my plate. The two things that stress me out the most are Duke and my business Squeak Latex. Efforts in both aspects are created to entertain or benefit the community, but are being brought down by individuals ruining it for myself and the rest of you.
We'll start with Squeak Latex. Though not every ones thing, I created a company so those like myself into latex and inflation/inflatable suits would have access to designs at a reasonable price. I've invested years into the company and ended up being tens of thousands out of pocket to invest and get this started up. The problem is I have some people who hate me or the company for what ever reason. These are people whom share the same interest yet dislike what I've created. Some of these people undermine me by going behind my back to other suppliers or even my own to have my designs copied. They then gloat about this fact. I've lost my cool at them for doing this and felt very betrayed by the community. Apparently this makes me the bad guy for getting upset when people buy copies of my stuff.
I'm a small business, I can't survive when individuals do that sort of thing to me. The only reason they do it is to destroy what I do. I don't blame the Chinese companies for copying my stuff, I blame the buyer that asks them to do it.
It keeps happening and i'm about to call it quits if the community I invested so much money in, to create a product for them wants to do this to me. Congratulations guys who hate Squeak, you win.
Regarding Duke. As a long time suit performer both professionally outside the fandom and with in it, I've never hid from the spotlight. I love suit performing and was the reason I found furry in the first place, it was somewhere I could freelance with a hobby that I enjoy so very much. In the last few years, i'm finding myself ostracized from certain groups and feeling like my efforts are simply not worth my time anymore. Perhaps it makes me a bad person, but being rewarded for ones efforts and contribution is always nice. I see it happening to friends around me and to other fellow performers. Yet I feel due to peoples personal opinions of me, this will never come true.
I receive countless comments a day from fans who love what i do. My youtube channel has just shy of 15,000 subscribers and just under 1,000,000 views across only a dozen videos of which i've only been on youtube for 3 years. I'm proud about these facts and I couldn't of done it with out the help of some very wonderful people.
Ever since I entered the fandom back in the 90's I've always dreamed of doing really impressive things such a big group dancers with lots of costumes, music videos and high quality content. With technology being so readily available, I've now, with effort been able to organize and make this happen. Creating a personality like Duke has been a lot of fun and people all around really do enjoy what i'm doing.
Here is the woe is me part, which i'm not sure makes me selfish or a bad person.
You see, my peers and those I look up to don't seem to want me, or like me. I have tens of thousands of fans who love what I do, yet other either well known personalities or convention organizers don't. Dancer fur groups don't want to promote or share the group dances I create for everyone to join into. I create these so everyone can participate, it's for everyone of all levels. Perhaps it's because organizers of that group didn't come up with the idea, or i'm not buddy buddy with them.
Singer furs (bar a couple) never promote or comment on what I do. These are people I thought where friends yet seem to show only support for themselves and what they create. Here I am happy to retweet, listen and comment on peoples creative skills of those I look up to, yet never receive the same in return. Same goes for dancer furs content.
I'm not one of the cool kids, i'm not in the cliques or groups. I support and promote as much furry content and peoples efforts as I can, yet it seems to be cliques or individuals that are only in it for themselves and don't care about people outside their own groups or even themselves.
We then have convention or event organizers. Same thing goes, I believe I call these people my friends, yet they don't seem to want me to contribute. Be it shows, hosting, MCing and so on they all seem so very disinterested in having me. I'm not talking GOH or anything like that either. These are conventions I've already booked and paid for and would cost them nothing. I'm not going to lie, I work in promotions and entertainment for a living and i'm good at what I do. I would draw more people to an event and offer high quality content. I've offered and they're just not going for it. I've never really understood why?
I've promoted these conventions free of charge through my music videos. People new to the fandom have told me they've gone to these particular conventions because of how amazing it all looked in my videos.
But screw it, let us touch on the Guest Of Honor thing. I've never been a guest of honor at a convention. I see furries being rewarded and honored by their efforts and contribution to the fandom. Getting flown all around the country and planet, some nothing more than "looking cute" as a skill. Not taking anything away from these people, they've created a well liked character and personality.
Then there is me...
Singer, Dancer and performer. Costume builder, artist, pro mascot, creator of Australia's largest furry convention. Host/MC and organizer/creator of some of the most popular furry videos online.
I guess i'm just not what anyone is looking for. Or perhaps because these major conventions already get free advertising out of me via tweets and music videos that there isn't any point putting money into something they get for free. I'm a business man, I get it, they've made money from me.
Lastly is the patreon thing. I can't really complain or comment about this, though it is disappointing to see that out of 15,000 subscribers only 20 of you like me enough to swing a couple of dollars my way for the entertainment given.
This was created not to make profit but to be able to do more. I've only made $180 with one video so far and that money was put towards a portable PA speaker to use during the filming of the big group music videos. Which is great! Wonderful! I guess i'm somewhat jealous to see other artists and musicians getting so much backing and support for their content (Sometimes thousands). Considering that I release only 6 - 10 videos a year (if that) it would cost my average Patreon user $6 - $10, the same cost as a McDonalds meal to have me create bigger and better things for them and the community.
The dream was to create a huge pop style concert/show and tour around each convention, but can't with out fan backing/support nor am wanted by convention organizers to host the show. So, i'm giving up...
Anyway, perhaps this is a bit of a selfish rant and perhaps it's wrong to feel under appreciated or under supported by the community. But, this is how I feel and i'm feeling burned out from it.
I'm sure people will say, oh but you should do this for yourself and not for others. That's fine, but I create this level or production and effort for the community, not for myself. If I was suiting for myself, i'd simply go to a convention with no commitments and just walk around in suit, blend in. Not spend days/weeks planning music videos and such.
In fact, I probably wouldn't even attend conventions and would end up spending my own funds on holidays to other locations.
It's why i'm thinking of taking a step back from contributing to the community, both Latex/Inflatable and Fursuit.
I've been doing it for 15 years and although I have many friends and fond memories. There is just to much stress and drama these days, as well as an unwelcome feeling from other groups.
I'm not saying I won't still talk with those friendships I've made in the fandom and honestly i'm not leaving the fandom. Simply changing how I act in it and where time, effort and money goes.
There will still be a couple more music videos which have already been filmed to be released. I'm just no longer promising i'll be doing any more in the future.
This was a very hard subject to come out about and I hope I don't come off egotistical or selfish, it's just how i'm feeling about my position in the community these days.
Thank you for listening.
you are a legend in fat fur and fursuit dance
I have been loving your art way before I even got in to the fandom and your are a huge inspiration to me
Hugs from what i herd
youre a really aswome person with an aswome personality
lots of furs love ya
ur aswome dont ever doubt that
I hope to meet you sometime
Im a huge fan
love ya :)
Please dont leave lots of freinds would miss you
if you need a break for urself take as much time as you need though
Hugs
I don't know, I can't offer much in the way of advice, but there's no harm in changing up how you do or how you interact with a fandom. If you feel what you're doing isn't as beneficial or even becoming detrimental to your way of life, then yeah, step back, take a breather, or just try n'sort it all out, I dunno. Again I don't know jack squat about all the behind the scenes stuff, but I certainly hope you're able to get it figured out for yourself in the best way possible.
Shit gets annoying or frustrating, you kind of get left rubbing your temples and wondering why you bother, I get that. I would say, don't let it sour your whole outlook. Don't see it so much as "the community" because that more sets it up as this daunting mass gunning for you. It's probably just easier to manage it all not thinking that way... Or so I think, I could be talking out my ass. Regardless, I hope you're able to work it out, whatever you feel is best for you.
I hope that the people who have seemed to go out of their way to dampen your mood, realize what asses they've been to lose such a constructive figure of the community.
I know if I was in your situation I'd be doing the same thing. I just hope you don't give up on any future adventures outside of the furry fandom because of the negative experiences that have come from it.
Know that what you do isnt in vain if it is something you are passionated about and if it gives you a nice life experience. Focus on the positive, slow down the pace when you need to, and remember that you accomplished amazing things, recognized or not. :3
I know the pain of being shunned when I try to make something like what you did with groups and that but I will admit it hasn't been on the scale that you've received. All I can say is that you are the only one who can decide if you stay or leave. Don't let other people who are dicks try and force you out. They don't speak for all of us and I know you have one major supporter in your otter and remember he will always be by your side.
Do what you need to and I hope to see you back and being the lovable ball of fun and energy I've seen in countless videos. My best wishes are with you and whatever you decide will be what's best in the long run for you.
I've honestly been a big fan of your works since before even learning of the furry fandom; you're actually one of the people who got me to jump in and start making my own art. It IS pretty depressing to have hardly anyone look your way, though.
Really hoping things turn out better for you!
But I understand that every once in a while, even the greatest artist, will need to take a break for a little bit. If you feel that way, go ahead. I know we all will be waiting for you to return with open arms *or with canisters of air*. Just remember we all are here to help you and cheer you up if you ever need it.
I hope you feel better soon as well. This place definitely won't be the same without you
As for Squeak, I hope the company lives on. I've been wanting an otter suit from you for as long as I've known about it and I plan to attempt to get one in the next few months! Your suits have always been the cutest around and the best looking designs!
Your friend always..
Marc
It'd feel so empty and lifeless without you.
despite getting a massive cold at MWFF cause of the attack. my biggest highlight was actually getting to meet you and to say a few words to you and get a hug! and the fact that you recalled the moment when my mate burned me on being able to get a hug from you during the parade really threw me back.
I'm always very scared to actually go up to people i look up too in this fandom. And i have to say, that getting to meet you in person was a great honor.
Its a dam shame that people in the fandom can be such ass holes towards there own.
I hope things pan out better cause I'd love to be able to actually talk to you more this year at MWFF!
I hope for the best for you (even if it's from a quiet fan in Tennessee).
I really hope stepping back provides further insight, I think a lot of people put in a huge amount into this fandom and don't get the recognition they turly derserve, whether they do it for fun or what have you.. I can say I'm really looking forward to FurDu (it will hopefully be the first con I will ever suit at) and I really hope to meet you eventually. :D
but yeah im sorry you're not feeling appreciated, but i definitely appreciate you =)
Now where it takes you is totally up to you, but I'm sure if you want it bad enough, you'll find what you're looking for. Whether on purpose, or by accident!
I, for one, didn't know you had all of these commitments that you always did! I knew you had Duke, and that you were an artist, and that's about it. Best of luck to you, Oz! :3
You're a great guy, you do great things, and you've got some great friends in this community, but at the same time if you're feeling unappreciated by the community and in some cases full on hated, it is certainly worth questioning whether being involved in this community in your current capacity is worth it for you. It may be that taking a step back will give you a chance to focus on yourself more and focus on what you get out of this community rather than tirelessly giving all the time, because as you say there has to be something that you get back from your efforts in order to make it all worthwhile.
As little as we've spoken I have a great deal of respect for you Oz and I hope that whatever course of action you choose to take you'll be happy in your pursuits, because you undoubtedly deserve that <3
DarkWolf36
[ Hide Comment ] (No Subject) Posted: couple of minutes ago
I'm very sorry to hear what's all been happening with you and your life in general with the fur community. It would be nice if you could do what NIIC the Singing Dog is doing as well, but everyone else seems to want to promote him for some apparent reason. If I could I would help promote you in any way possible. As we get older and newbies join the fandom and changes how the fandom was whenever we joined it how long ago and made it sorta like a big family based community with Anthrocon giving us a good reputation of what we are and or do in the fur community, all thanks to the CEO/Chairman of it Dr. Samual Conway aka Uncle Kage. As you know in life there are Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes, now if you don't get that reference here is a video from the South Park Movie: Team America: World Police: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cV_q-mVAAA I believe everyone that replies here is here for ya if you need any advice or help. It's all cuz we appreciate/like what you have been doing in the fur community all these years.
*gives you a sexy femboy wolf hug*
This fandom needs to be what you want it to be. If you get obsessed with what others thing, this fandom will drive you nuts. I had to lean that too. Just do what you love and spend time with true friends who appreciate who you are and what you do. That's what saved me. :3
The fandom really is like high school, man. Fuck the football team.
However, I think that your decision is more than understandable, taking a step back and enjoying yourself instead of working all the time for the fandom might be the smartest thing you could do in order to not completly "Abandon" your relationship with the fandom.
Thanks for everything duke! Good luck in the future~
See where it takes you. :)
If I have not participated in some of your dances or events before, it is mainly because the impression was that I was too far down the totem pole to stand next to you and my abilities are limited. Maybe others feel the same and this post may well wake us up.
Having been in the fandom for just under half of your time here, I can appreciate your thoughts and the reasons behind them.
Hopefully a little rest and relaxation will help you feel a little better.
But rest assured that a lot of us appreciate the time and effort you take to make your creations and while the fandom needs to get better in the long run, we all need to do our little bit to make it so.
Other times, you just need to rest.
Whatever the reason, Friends worth keeping won't hate you for taking a sabbatical. Best of luck to you.
Once in my life I was "Lucy" from "Peanuts" giving advice without the nickle to friends. It was detestable with non mature folks, but I stuck with it. I've tried furmeets and only manages a small gathering once.You probably don't want to hear my rants, the fact is: the communities are not the same. Giving up entirely would be a loss because of the impact you make. Taking a break could be a good idea. I wish you well and I always am there.A while back I sent you a note stating that I would like to draw some gift art for you as a proper thank you, but I never got a response. I totally understand that you were very busy at the time and may have just missed it, SO my offer still stands. I would love to do this for you if you'd let me all I need is for you to send me a note with a favorite picture of your pet or of your favorite animal. l will have to pick it for you if you don't heh
I think a break would be the best thing for you, we all will miss you though.
cheers
It was my impression that you were rather popular among many and at conventions for all the nice and generous things you do to let people have a good time. I have smiled many times from the artwork and the videos you have done if that helps any. I never figured others would sink low to go around you and leave you out, and that is shame on them. I've not been to a convention so I don't get the whole criteria for a Guest of Honor thing but I've seen a few random people in the line up so I never understood how the even organizers picked those people. I would imagine you of all people would have been offered the spot and participated in conventions as a guest of honor for doing so much with the community, but I guess the organizers are in it for their friends and for personal gain instead of recognizing those who contribute to the entertainment and happiness of those who are a part of this crazy community. I've been in the spot of being nice and giving so much, but never getting anything in return to show my efforts were worth the time and energy. So I know how you feel, dude. If that is how it is gonna be, don't bother with those who have no time for you.
As for the latex suit company, I thought you were doing well over all with it, but if it is too much for you and people would rather go behind your back to get the same thing from cheap labor groups to save a few bucks or to just tick you off, perhaps it is best to shut it down or step back for a while. For anybody to do that to you proves some people are simply assholes. If they like your design, they should contribute to you for making that design. If they are trying to save a few bucks to get a copy made for cheap, maybe they shouldn't be spending their money on a suit and get their financial priorities straightened out. In short, they are pathetic.
I would offer more advice, but I haven't been in a position like you, nor do I have all of the details to make sense of it all.
What I can offer is I am here to talk to. You can note me or ask for my messenger. I'll be happy to take time and listen and offer what I can.
I hope things work out and I wouldn't blame you for taking some time away and relieve some pressure (pun intended of course)~
*hugs tight* Hang in there, Oz.
I know I haven't known you as long as most have but I'm available to talk if you need it. Gonna give you lots of hugs at FurDu, best of luck mate!
and its bets to get these things off your chest. I hope what ever you do lets off the stress and makes you happy <;3
You have to do things for you. If they help the community, that's great; but don't do things for the community - that only leads to the situation you're in now. Because the 'community' is not a person, and it does not react with the politeness that we are all taught as individuals.
Take some time; when you return, do things you want to do...for you.
And to add to it, just because I recognize it and have fought it internally too, it sounds like you (and a lot of other commenters here, from what they're writing too) are dealing with a pretty severe case of Nice Guy Syndrome. It might be beneficial to reconfigure yourself to do things mainly for yourself, instead of doing things mainly to benefit others, then being disappointed or angry when they don't give you the response you were looking for. Because, well, expecting that response is actually in a way doing things for yourself. Believe my own internal experience: acknowledging that this isn't actually altruism, and overcoming the subconscious desire to do things for others with an unspoken expectation of return, leads you toward actions that put you mentally and emotionally more at peace with yourself and others. It's been doing so for me, even if I still catch myself engaging in thought processes of Nice Guy Syndrome, which I can then recognize & work toward squashing. [I've come to realize that the belief that "hard work and kindness are always rewarded" is actually incredibly toxic when applied to expectations of friendships & relationships.]
In any case, Oz, whichever way you decide to go, I at least wanted to say thank you for the work you've done. Your Duke dance videos are great to watch. And regarding your latex designs, between yourself and Scaleworx, you both have pioneered some great designs with inflatable animal suits. I know you've been writing on twitter that you're considering closing Squeak Latex, but I really do hope that you're able to continue it.
Hang in there, Oz! We're all rooting for ya!
It hurts me to see somebody else in this situation, and I wish I could give you better advice, but I'd say that you should focus first on yourself, your loved ones, and whatever makes you and them happy. After that, you can dedicate the spare time to please others. And also, do not try to make a group or a fandom the core of your life. You're much more than just Duke or OzKangaroo. I have made the mistake of making fandoms or groups the core of my life, and it left me really bitter toward them when they no longer because a source of fun or comfort for me.
I'm sorry I cannot sing you a more cheerful song.
On a happier note, kudos to see you're also a 90s fur. I started in 1999 myself with the fandom. We're a rare breed nowdays!
Hope we can meet IRL again soon! :)
Regarding recognition and reward, I do think you don't get enough and I understand your frustration. I also really understand the concept of feeling as though you are under appreciated so I sympathise. However it's worth reminding you that you are an awesome suiter, you make awesome videos which I and a lot of my friends love, and along with Drake and Joey you organise one of the best conventions in Australia. Not a lot of people can have those kind of accomplishments under their belt and it's something you should feel proud of. You would not believe the amount of people who tentatively attend FurDU thinking they don't like cons and then come away from it going 'OMG FurDU is not like other cons. It's so much FUN!'. And that's all on you guys.
Beyond that you're a fun, good looking guy who has attracted an awesome boyfriend and there's plenty going for you (And you blow up so nice and big!). I don't think any of that is going to change regardless of what you decide to do so if you feel like yo need a break, go for it. Think about yourself for a bit because you've done plenty for others.
Kissies.
If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to help others.
Anyways I suck at talking and I didn't want to sound like im being weird, I hope you feel better eventually.
now about squeak latex. I dont really hate the concept but i'm afraid that people outside the fandom are going to discover it and use it as another reason to hate us furries. I think thats the major reason why some people might hate it.
Anyway, this journal is an ironic reinforcement of all the reasons you will never truly achieve the level of attention you seem to vie for. I have nothing against you personally, but this had to be said.
The inability to take criticism, even constructive criticism - and especially criticism that is warranted - seems to be a serious fault in our culture, and in this fandom
While unwarranted and unending praise is not only desired, but now is to be expected.
Thank you for speaking up and speaking truth - where many, including myself - have lost the will to even bother
All I can say is take a break if that's you want. Hopefully that you will come beck feeling better and chat with me if you want to. Yes, I was told how busy you were by the way.