So, I ran into an old friend of mine of whom I haven't spoken to in a couple years at this magical place known as Taco Bell. Him and I go back about seven or so years and the reason I stopped talking to him was that he was always hanging around with this other kid. (Let's just call this kid Ed)

Ed has always been the douchebag type of person. I met him in 3rd grade when he moved up the street from me and we were friends until about 5th grade. At this time he started going behind my back and publicly alienating me from all of my other classmates, turning some against me as well. He would act like your friend for a while to get what he wants and then stab you in the back once he had the chance to get ahead. At a vulnerable and dark time of my life, he and I were on speaking terms but at that time I was self harming and for a while he would try to get me to stop. Once other people found out, he would join in with them when they bullied me for it. He told me almost daily after that that I wasn't worth anything and that I should stop fucking around with this self harm bullshit and just kill myself already. He also said that it was my parents' fault because they didn't raise me right.

This is where every contact with him was avoided as much as possible. That's something you just don't fucking say to someone, especially if they're already self-harming. I tried to not let him get to me but I couldn't help it because he lived right down the street. I was kicked out of school for a mental evaluation when I was in 7th grade because he saw that I had harmed myself that morning and with it being as fresh as it was, he told the school counselor I was self harming on school property, during class no less. First of all, I wasn't stupid enough to do that. Secondly, yes I had a problem and every day I wasn't in school he would come by my house and just make fun of me for what had happened. I started staying inside and I would stay away from basically everyone and everything and just hide in my room. I was afraid that I would be bullied if I went outside or if I went back to school. When I got back, everything was quiet between us. He caused so much pain and torture. I was ready to just unleash hell upon him but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Enough back-story, my friend that I met at Taco Bell would hang out with Ed all the time. (You'd think they were in a relationship as much as they were together) but he said that Ed has hit a very low point. Ed was an artist, as much as I despised him I have to say his art wasn't half bad. He gave that up, started smoking marijuana, and eventually that led up to him getting kicked out of his house because his parents found his stash. He sold everything he had to get more pot money, and when I heard this, I couldn't help but...smile...

After all that he has put people through, all of the hate that he has shown to everyone, it's all starting to come back on him. I know that it's wrong, and I know that this makes me no better than he was, but from what he put me through, I subconsciously could not help but be at least a little bit happy to hear that news. The other part of me actually feels sorry for him. He actually had potential as an artist but he threw it all away. It hurts me to hear that about another human being, because I have been in some very dark times with almost no one around to reach out to, and here he is in one of those positions. Karma is a bitch, but that doesn't mean I have any right to shove it in his face. The last thing people want to hear in a dark time is someone else showing that they at least did something with their life while the other's has faded away.

I don't know what or how to feel about this... All I know is, I still don't want to talk to or see this Ed person, even if he is in a bad time right now.



I love you guys, don't ever forget that.
 AnthemTheMalamutt