Well life has definitely taken a drastic turn for me. Just found out two weeks ago that i was being divorced. It devastated me. They are going through some life changes right now and just doesn't want to be with men anymore. I wish there was something I could do, but it is his choice. I had such an amazing future planned for us and now I am starting from scratch all alone. Three years of my life were absolutely amazing, filled with such happiness, love, triumphs, adventures and such, and I will always remember them. We had a counseling session to help me accept that it was over, I couldn't believe it and didnt want to accept it, shit, I still have a hard time dealing with it. I cry myself to sleep every night. He was such a huge part of my life and I feel like a part of me along with my heart has been ripped out. My everyday life revolved around him from texting good morning, random texts throughout the day to our goodnight conversations on the phone, everything about him made me happy and smile that he was mine and i was his, i felt such love from him and he made me feel so special. I find myself doing what I can to occupy my time and thoughts so as not to dwell and become even more depressed. Love is not a light switch that can be just turned off, well not for me anyways. We were separated by distance for the past two years because of us both being in the military and it was tough but our love was strong. I wish him the best of luck with life and hope he works through this and finds what he is looking for, he is truly an amazing person. But for me, I have a new job on-board the USS Boxer in San Diego now. I have already set up and apartment just a 12 minute bicycle ride from the base, with some friends who transferred from Connecticut living there. I am also trying to see what I can do about getting my dog Kodi out there so I wont be completely alone as I could really use his company in these times. Right now my heart is still bleeding and will need alot of time to heal and recover, I hope so much that it does not become hard and callused like it was before I met Jake. I had so many personal issues before I met him and i had finally got to the point where they had finally disappeared. I wish so much that things hadnt gone this way, but life has a way of kicking me down when I'm happiest. Fuck life.