I can't sleep so I thought writing about what's bothering me might ease my feelings.

In a couple more days I'll have been in chastity for 120 days... The last time I came was in early December and I wasn't even allowed to use my hands. The last time I used my hands was October, I don't even remember what the date was it's been so long. For the most part I've held up okay, but like I said in a journal not too long ago, sometimes it's hard. Right now is one of those difficult times. All I want to talk about is kinky things, things that I still wonder if they would be okay to post here. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I crave talking to people about incredibly intimate things. I want to find a someone that's like me, and feels the way I do, but talking with others about the things I like is really a gamble. This is something that's nagged at me for a while, I've wanted to say it, but couldn't.

I have this feeling of excitement in my chest that wont go away. It's the same kind of feeling you get as a kid when Christmas is tomorrow, or your birthday is coming soon. It's so... Frustrating. I know tomorrow will be like today and the stress will be the same. At least until it decides to leave, sometimes it does and I can be calm again, but it always comes back.

tldr I really want to have kinky conversations to release this built up tension (and inevitably make it worse). If you would like, it's okay to send me a note~