I was at work and got pissed off at my boss, I pushed him into a meat grinder that looked like giant Ronald McDonald robot. The giant robot squatted and shat out hamburger. All of the bosses little favorites and piss ants transformed into wild pigs and tore into the hamburger. Justin Beiber showed up and did a musical number and all the hamburger engorged pigs became his back up dancers. Steve Urkel showed up and hand cuffed me dragging me to court. Judge Judy tore into me and made me cry, making me feel like a horrible person because the meat grinder wasn't FDA approved. I was thrown into Jail as the door shut Steve Urkel looked at me and smiled as the bars clanged shut, "Did I do that fucker!" He laughed and walked off pulling a block of cheese from his pocket and began munching on it. I was in a cell with Honey Boo Boo's mother, who forced me to dress up and dance in front of a bunch of prisoners like a slutty 10 year old for a fellow prisoners. They got too wild because I'm a sexy son of a bitch in a pink dress and they rioted. I managed to escape and was picked up by Nicolas Cage, he took me to his home which was full of My Little Pony collectables... hell he even had some pony blow up dolls. He made me watch "Left Behind" which I told him sucked because nothing happened in it. He kicked me out and I stole one of his cars, not like he'd miss it because he's a rich actor. Eventually I came upon a couple Italian plumbers, I pulled up next to them and asked if the sexy bastards needed a ride. One pulled out a gun and placed it against my temple spewing, "It's a me! Mario! You bitch!" I was left without a car or clothes with the plumbers pulling away with my stolen ride, one of them flipping me off as they left me in the dust. With out any clothes I continued to walk home I ran into a dragon who had a Sean Connery like voice. He smiled at me coyly before asking me if I needed a ride, I told him yes. Next thing I know a large open gaping maw descended upon me and I was squished into a wet soft and humid interior. After several minutes of being molested by a draconian tongue I was spit out on my front porch and here I sit typing this up dripping with thick drool.

I had a bad day today... oh... and Merry April Fools! May I suffer the screamers for 2 weeks for this bullshit!