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Too much drama... (ew)
10 years ago
It's just kinda fucked up.
This journal may be a bit personal, just placing a little warning right there.
Against my will, I got housed psychiatric hospital. When doctors make decisions, you have no chance.
So well, I even talked to a lawyer + judge about all of that crap. Because I got diagnosed with 3+ new disorders/mental illnesses (and right now I'm still being diagnosed!), people just got nuts and think it would "help" me when I get stuffed up with stupid medications (I secretly spit them out, though I sometimes gotta have some luck since they also tend to check underneath my tongue).
Right now, I'm on permission to go out. I will have to come back to the hospital tomorrow tho'.
I really hope I'll be completely outta there by the end of this week. It's just incredebily useless (for me).
People should really just leave me the fuck alone at some points. When I say I'm feeling fine, that's the case.
But oh no, doctors be like "No you're not and that's the problem; you think you're fine but you're not"
? shut up.
Sorry, I know I sound kinda childish right now, but I just go crazy about the fact that people make big deals out of my "problems" or diagnoses when I'm just doing fine.
The result is that I GET problems because people always butt in!
I've already planned to write a big ass journal again, about my diagnoses you know? Not to get attention, but I thought since I'm sure I know quite a bit due being diagnosed with 5+ mental illnesses, I could discuss a bit about that hairy topic.
Why I wanna do that is because I want to let people know that some stereotypes are just complete BS.
So yeah, it will be a similar journal to my old ""Big Deal!" Another talk: Attention-Seekers and Posers" one.
BUT I also thought about making a "podcast-like" video about it.
Damn, I feel like my English sucks today, just saying. I just feel like my grammar is really fucked up right now.
I feel kinda lost. I don't really know what I'm gonna do once I'm out of that shit. I really need to find a job, but I'm worried because all of these diagnoses. What if people don't want me because they think I'm a freaking psychopath? I'm just thinking about that, sometimes.
And oh well, you know what? I used to keep it to myself until writing that big journal or making a video. But yeah, here are my diagnoses. I mean, there's a warning because I said this journal might be personal, right? I'm desperately trying not to make a big deal out of those, but I already know I'm failing hard at it.
Asperger-Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) - Diagnosed 2008
ADHD - Diagnosed 2013
(Anxiety/Obsessional) Neurosis - Diagnosed 2015
Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder - Diagnosed 2015
Paranoid Schizophrenia - Diagnosed 2015 (all of that "How are your voices doing today?" in the hospital is really stupid)
Hope people don't be too annoyed by me.
Yes, I'm well aware I'm an annoying fucker.
Don't feel sorry for me saying that, I'm not trying to sound poor, I simply just know myself well. I would be annyoed my a journal like this one too *shoulder pat*
To be honest, I feel awkwardly ashamed for writing this journal.
This journal may be a bit personal, just placing a little warning right there.
Against my will, I got housed psychiatric hospital. When doctors make decisions, you have no chance.
So well, I even talked to a lawyer + judge about all of that crap. Because I got diagnosed with 3+ new disorders/mental illnesses (and right now I'm still being diagnosed!), people just got nuts and think it would "help" me when I get stuffed up with stupid medications (I secretly spit them out, though I sometimes gotta have some luck since they also tend to check underneath my tongue).
Right now, I'm on permission to go out. I will have to come back to the hospital tomorrow tho'.
I really hope I'll be completely outta there by the end of this week. It's just incredebily useless (for me).
People should really just leave me the fuck alone at some points. When I say I'm feeling fine, that's the case.
But oh no, doctors be like "No you're not and that's the problem; you think you're fine but you're not"
? shut up.
Sorry, I know I sound kinda childish right now, but I just go crazy about the fact that people make big deals out of my "problems" or diagnoses when I'm just doing fine.
The result is that I GET problems because people always butt in!
I've already planned to write a big ass journal again, about my diagnoses you know? Not to get attention, but I thought since I'm sure I know quite a bit due being diagnosed with 5+ mental illnesses, I could discuss a bit about that hairy topic.
Why I wanna do that is because I want to let people know that some stereotypes are just complete BS.
So yeah, it will be a similar journal to my old ""Big Deal!" Another talk: Attention-Seekers and Posers" one.
BUT I also thought about making a "podcast-like" video about it.
Damn, I feel like my English sucks today, just saying. I just feel like my grammar is really fucked up right now.
I feel kinda lost. I don't really know what I'm gonna do once I'm out of that shit. I really need to find a job, but I'm worried because all of these diagnoses. What if people don't want me because they think I'm a freaking psychopath? I'm just thinking about that, sometimes.
And oh well, you know what? I used to keep it to myself until writing that big journal or making a video. But yeah, here are my diagnoses. I mean, there's a warning because I said this journal might be personal, right? I'm desperately trying not to make a big deal out of those, but I already know I'm failing hard at it.
Asperger-Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) - Diagnosed 2008
ADHD - Diagnosed 2013
(Anxiety/Obsessional) Neurosis - Diagnosed 2015
Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder - Diagnosed 2015
Paranoid Schizophrenia - Diagnosed 2015 (all of that "How are your voices doing today?" in the hospital is really stupid)
Hope people don't be too annoyed by me.
Yes, I'm well aware I'm an annoying fucker.
Don't feel sorry for me saying that, I'm not trying to sound poor, I simply just know myself well. I would be annyoed my a journal like this one too *shoulder pat*
To be honest, I feel awkwardly ashamed for writing this journal.
