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I think I am a chameleon and it hurts so much.
10 years ago
(when I say "mommy" in this, i am referring to myself giggle) (I am transgender M-F, pre HRT meds) This is from a chat I had with someone a few minutes ago. I would retype it for here, but it would take forever and I have to go to work in less then an hour
I knows to find someone and be with them in a loving long term relationship thing (that would include an AB relationship as well) (either straight or gay), the person you are with wants to be with the real you, who you are inside, but mommy starting to think that I has no chance to find someone because I think I am a chameleon.
By that (a chameleon) I mean that I do not think I have a real personality anymore. all my life mommy has been able to alter, adapt, change and present the person who mommy thinks they want to see or needs to see so mommy can survive when she was homeless, that mommy can try to protect herself from being hurt, so that mommy can try to fit in with those around her to the point that most just look past mommy as invisible or just like everyone else and not notice her so they don't tease or hurt mommy.
This next part refers to the AB relationship i had with someone called sterling (I was his little sissy little one and he was momma.)
when sterling abandoned me as his little one and said he didn't want me anymore in the last time we talked, he said that he felt throughout the momma/little one relationship we had, that I was very "resourceful" and meaning he thought that it was I who was deceiving him when I would think of the perfect thing to say or do so that he would not leave me sooner.
I knows to find someone and be with them in a loving long term relationship thing (that would include an AB relationship as well) (either straight or gay), the person you are with wants to be with the real you, who you are inside, but mommy starting to think that I has no chance to find someone because I think I am a chameleon.
By that (a chameleon) I mean that I do not think I have a real personality anymore. all my life mommy has been able to alter, adapt, change and present the person who mommy thinks they want to see or needs to see so mommy can survive when she was homeless, that mommy can try to protect herself from being hurt, so that mommy can try to fit in with those around her to the point that most just look past mommy as invisible or just like everyone else and not notice her so they don't tease or hurt mommy.
This next part refers to the AB relationship i had with someone called sterling (I was his little sissy little one and he was momma.)
when sterling abandoned me as his little one and said he didn't want me anymore in the last time we talked, he said that he felt throughout the momma/little one relationship we had, that I was very "resourceful" and meaning he thought that it was I who was deceiving him when I would think of the perfect thing to say or do so that he would not leave me sooner.
Awww~
Well, it may not be a birthday, but I hope you're able to have a great Mother's Day this weekend.
Also, with the crazy sudden love/popularity of Yooka the chameleon, I think now is a fine time to be one!
You be whomever you want to/need to be! ^_^ *hugs again*