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Not realy important, but quite serious.
10 years ago
So I'm back from my eye doctor appointment. It seems I may be at risk of randomly losing a retina. Which is apparently permanent blindness of the eye. Boy being near-sighted sure comes with a freaky risk.
I'm starting to feel very self-conscious again, and fearing my own existence again. Maybe I just don't like summers anymore, maybe summers don't like me anymore. I may also just be getting old early.
Whatever, I'm getting depressed, and want to hang out with people more often. I never even met my girlfriend in person, and I don't want her to have to find out late that I may have died of despair and stress.
Another issue is I'm starting to have sensitive elbows again. I have an appointment to the doctor for this, but it's still over a month off. In the meantime, I'm just rocking my computer chair, watching videos to try to mask the pain, and I haven't been able to roleplay properly due to arm fatigue, do pixel art / read / watch movies due to eye fatigue, and I think I am not handling my social life properly, as I may have people complaining about me and my behavior in public. Right now if there's anything I want to do is sleep, but it won't make any of my problems better, it just masks them. I'm stressed, and nothing will help me for a long time.
My work program is over, I've tried to keep a temporary job for 5 months. I couldn't come half the time due to my stupid sleep schedule, and I won't be able to get support again until I can manage 20 hours a week.
All I want is to sleep forever, so I can have clear dreams and a sane mind. It's a shame half my dreams feature nightmare fuel from my past... x_x
Alternatively, I may pick up writing. I'll try to condense my stories once again so I can finally write them down properly and make them readable. The synopsis I wrote took me 3 hours to write, and takes a long time to read as well. Problem is, who'd read that shit.
I'm starting to feel very self-conscious again, and fearing my own existence again. Maybe I just don't like summers anymore, maybe summers don't like me anymore. I may also just be getting old early.
Whatever, I'm getting depressed, and want to hang out with people more often. I never even met my girlfriend in person, and I don't want her to have to find out late that I may have died of despair and stress.
Another issue is I'm starting to have sensitive elbows again. I have an appointment to the doctor for this, but it's still over a month off. In the meantime, I'm just rocking my computer chair, watching videos to try to mask the pain, and I haven't been able to roleplay properly due to arm fatigue, do pixel art / read / watch movies due to eye fatigue, and I think I am not handling my social life properly, as I may have people complaining about me and my behavior in public. Right now if there's anything I want to do is sleep, but it won't make any of my problems better, it just masks them. I'm stressed, and nothing will help me for a long time.
My work program is over, I've tried to keep a temporary job for 5 months. I couldn't come half the time due to my stupid sleep schedule, and I won't be able to get support again until I can manage 20 hours a week.
All I want is to sleep forever, so I can have clear dreams and a sane mind. It's a shame half my dreams feature nightmare fuel from my past... x_x
Alternatively, I may pick up writing. I'll try to condense my stories once again so I can finally write them down properly and make them readable. The synopsis I wrote took me 3 hours to write, and takes a long time to read as well. Problem is, who'd read that shit.
