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The End of a New Year
10 years ago
General
It's days like this that I feel so nostalgic, yet so empty. My semester ended, so now begins summer.
Woohoo... Sort of...
While I'm happy that I have toms more free time... Thats juast trhe thing now, I got too much free time. I'm usually a loner during summers. The emptiness, though, is just too much to bear.
You'd probably then ask why I don't hang pout witj friends. Remember that loner part I just mentioned.
But the thing is, though, that I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being too timid, too afraid, to face the world. I'm tired of seeing all these people have fun while I seclude myself further. I'm tired of being envious of people hanging wih friends. I'm just so tired. So tired.
Summer has barely started for me, yet already I can feel the dread. I'm hopeful for the future, but I'm also nervous of what will happen next. Maybe I am just over-exagerating. The problem wasn't that I have to open up and face the world. The problem wasn't that I now will have to become a sociable person.
The problem was why it took me so long to get to where I am now. Why did it take so many long and lonely summers for me to decide that I didn't want to be a recluse anymore. Why was I so used to being alone, and why hadn't I opened up to begin with? I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to think of another summer wasting away by myself.
I want to be with friends. I want to be part of a community. I want to be social. And I'm not talking about on the FA forums.
Thanks for listening to me rant. That is... If anyone was even listening to me at all...
Woohoo... Sort of...
While I'm happy that I have toms more free time... Thats juast trhe thing now, I got too much free time. I'm usually a loner during summers. The emptiness, though, is just too much to bear.
You'd probably then ask why I don't hang pout witj friends. Remember that loner part I just mentioned.
But the thing is, though, that I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being too timid, too afraid, to face the world. I'm tired of seeing all these people have fun while I seclude myself further. I'm tired of being envious of people hanging wih friends. I'm just so tired. So tired.
Summer has barely started for me, yet already I can feel the dread. I'm hopeful for the future, but I'm also nervous of what will happen next. Maybe I am just over-exagerating. The problem wasn't that I have to open up and face the world. The problem wasn't that I now will have to become a sociable person.
The problem was why it took me so long to get to where I am now. Why did it take so many long and lonely summers for me to decide that I didn't want to be a recluse anymore. Why was I so used to being alone, and why hadn't I opened up to begin with? I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to think of another summer wasting away by myself.
I want to be with friends. I want to be part of a community. I want to be social. And I'm not talking about on the FA forums.
Thanks for listening to me rant. That is... If anyone was even listening to me at all...
