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Healing.
10 years ago
I finally took the step to doing what I was incapable of doing.
I dropped my fiancé like a ball a couple days ago. Clean cut and he's out of my life now. I don't feel sorry for walking away from someone who was nothing but so negative, toxic, inconsiderate, hurtful. Someone who made me lose sight of myself by putting me down so much and walking on me. All for sheer, "realistic" reasons.
I feel better now, going to counseling has helped tremendously. It was my birthday today, and I cleaned, cooked, and just relaxed for once without him crossing my mind.
While the 4 or so years were wasted, I can't do anything about it, but know that I don't want that kind of relationship ever again. Nor let anyone get away with all he got away with and me not saying anything until I'm at my breaking point.
I don't really feel like I believe in love in all honesty. Not because it's too good to be true, just the fact that I don't need someone else to love me for me to be happy and it took so much away from me without any good coming from it.
I dropped my fiancé like a ball a couple days ago. Clean cut and he's out of my life now. I don't feel sorry for walking away from someone who was nothing but so negative, toxic, inconsiderate, hurtful. Someone who made me lose sight of myself by putting me down so much and walking on me. All for sheer, "realistic" reasons.
I feel better now, going to counseling has helped tremendously. It was my birthday today, and I cleaned, cooked, and just relaxed for once without him crossing my mind.
While the 4 or so years were wasted, I can't do anything about it, but know that I don't want that kind of relationship ever again. Nor let anyone get away with all he got away with and me not saying anything until I'm at my breaking point.
I don't really feel like I believe in love in all honesty. Not because it's too good to be true, just the fact that I don't need someone else to love me for me to be happy and it took so much away from me without any good coming from it.
Don't let that experience ruin your opinion of love. There's someone out there for everyone, and we'll all find someone who won't be a complete ass. :3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata
You can read it on the side there, or even just google it for prints of it.
Especially the part that I plan to get tattooed on my forearm:
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Essentially, it will come and go, but it is always recurring and will never stop coming into your life. Whether you want it or not. So learn to accept and continue to love. Don't stop loving because it is one of humans most amazing gifts. : >
I know it's hard, I am going through some stuff myself. And I know how easy it is to just say "Forget love, I don't need it." But don't shut it out either. Take time to heal, but you can still find happiness elsewhere. : )
I hope you continue to make good decisions that brighten your life. You deserve much!
It sucks...I've been through my fair share of shitty relationships but each one taught me more and more about exactly what I wanted and a little more about myself each time too.
Happy Birthday!! And all the best wishes to your continued happiness!!
The worst step is over, there's only the future now~
I wish you the best of luck <3
We support you!