Hey guys.....Man It really pains me to make this journal but I'm going to be honest. This entire week has been a whole middle finger to myself and my family. I haven't been able to focus straight for more than an hour with the events that have gone on.

for Most of my new watchers who don't know. My grandmother is very sick and dying. I care nothing for the women. In fact none of us do. the only real person who cares for her in the world is my mom, And my mom openly admits that if my grandmother wasn't her mother she would have given up long ago. SO somehow my grandmother is still clinging on. Even though she can't eat OR get a feeding tube, And her lungs are working at only 4%.....It is amazing doctors why she is holding on so strong. ( she is not hooked up to ANY LIFE SUPPORT AT ALL!)

Though....what really shook my family this week was my baby brother had this friend he has known since kindergarten. She used to come over here all the time in the summer and they would play,laugh; dick around ya know kid stuff. Well on Monday She was playing a game of softball with her team and just collapsed.

They rushed her to the hospital but in the corse of less than 5 hours she was a happy 14 year old girl...who just finished her first year of high school. A girl who we watched grow up Just slip in to a coma and become brain dead.

She died last night and all of us were shaking to the core.....

I really really fucking hate the world sometimes.

This girl who's not even 15, wont ever get to make it through high school....or her first summer out of it. But my Grandmother who has done HORRIBLE THINGS....IS causing doctors to be shocked and want to write papers about it because she is still holding on after months....

I'll be back to working on commissions normally on Monday. I just want to be there for my little brother. Since she was his friend most of all.