Or in this case coal for me

I have something to admit and i am not proud of what it is, but since someone so 'kindly' let me collect myself no pressure at all i feel i need to let you all know
I have manipulated, lied, used, and now disrespected some of my commisioners, my reason which i have told 3 of the clients which id like to thank but apoligise the most.
When i began studying my life was becoming stressful and i was going downhill money wise, i never realised my head space would commit me to do these. I have traced certin art pieces (commissions) and altered them to try and make it my own. I knew i could draw why did i do it then, it was quick means to complete a piece. I dont know why i didnt stop i dont know why i just couldnt do it myself, thats what it means to be an artist right.
Negelection is another thing that is involved in this, my neglection from my birth parents has affected me and i guess it showed in my pictures with other artists styles, i must of felt that viewers wouldnt neglect me i wouldnt feel miserable if i drew like my idiols, which ended up being wrong on so many levels, i copied and keepet doing it the stress of money issues got to me soo bad my head was way off into the clouds and ignored the crimes ive done, and i feel utterly lowest of the low. I cant ask for forgiveness or simpathy, im a grown adult and shouldnt need of that,
I want to apologise to all the artest's ive used in the images mostly to Dog-Bone and Shinerai
I really want to say im awfully sorry but thank you to  faunoiphilia whom has given me utter trust and respect but i treated it like trash i am sorry for, but thank you for helping me get kicked in the ass to realise what ive done.

Now people who have gotten a commision from me, please note me and please let me know how much you paid for a piece with your address and i will give you the full refund for your troubles on my arrogance
Im going to be starting anew, im going to prob be away for awhile and focus on myself, i am filth and a liar aswel as a disrespectful bitch for my selfish actions all because of money.
I dont expect any of you wish to follow me anymore, heck even ban me i dont deserve any remorse and i am more dissappointed in myself more than you all are with me.
I shouldnt even be allowed to call myself an artist, i am a cheat, a scammer.
So again i am truley sorry (for my actions and for my spelling/grammer, sorry)