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Personal Journal - Day 10: Taking control of your life.
10 years ago
Quick review, seeing as how it is now day 10…about 1/3 of the way through this program.
The power to change our life comes from taking action consistently and following through in spite of fears and challenges. This means we do not give in because of an obstacle or bump in the road. These are bound to happen.
One way to succeed in life is to use the “success formula”
1: We have to know our outcome. We need to know what we want to get out of something.
2: We have to make a decision to take action. That conscious effort needs to be taken or we will not actually make a change.
3: We need to be able to notice if it’s working or not. If we do not pay attention to the ‘feedback loop’ so to speak, we will not be able to adjust to reach our goal.
4: We need to be adaptable. If we cannot alter our course when things are going poorly, we are only headed to disaster.
The importance of role modeling, or as Tai puts it, mentoring. We should find someone who is getting the results we want to have, and “steal” their methods to achieve the same outcomes. This can cut years, even decades off of the learning curve.
Pain and pleasure are the two forces that drive us to take action or prevent us from doing so. These are two forces that our brain will constantly strive to reach for or avoid.
Neuro Associations determine our behavior. What we have associated pain or pleasure to will determine how we interact with the world around us.
Anchors are created by experiences that occur during particularly “powerful” emotional storms, so to speak. At any point in time, if we are feeling an emotion strongly enough and an event takes place enough times, we will associate that event with the emotion we are feeling.
I looked at what we really want. People as a whole, do not seek relationships. They do not want their business. They do not want money. They do not want their car. What we seek are the feelings or emotional states that we may receive from any of these.
The ability to control our states is linked to physical changes and mental focus. Studies have shown (throughout the years) that the individuals who present themselves in a “successful” fashion consider themselves more successful than those who do not. We have also come to understand that our mental focus (our “camera” so to speak) determines what state we are in.
Asking the RIGHT questions as opposed to the wrong questions. There are different ways to ask questions: Some questions will empower you while others will disempower you. Learning to ask the RIGHT questions is key.
Values and Beliefs determine our decisions, what we do, and our “destiny.” Values are double sided: these dictate what we want in any area of our life, and what we want to avoid. Beliefs are the rules that determine whether we have met our values or not.
Global or Core beliefs determine what we think about ourselves, people, life, etc… These govern what we are willing to focus on and ask.
Power is USE, not just knowledge. Knowing isn’t enough. We need to apply what we need in order to see the results.
Taking control of your life - Changing Core Belief Systems
We already know how to change almost anything. We need to get leverage, interrupt the pattern, and then condition ourselves with a new association. To change our core beliefs, we use the same steps in a different context.
Your brain will do almost anything to avoid massive pain. Identify your beliefs that you want to change the most. Beliefs about life, people, self, relationships, money, etc… These should be core beliefs that are holding you back.
Creating a new set of empowering beliefs.
This is something to remember: Beliefs don’t have to be accurate. Beliefs only have to be accurate to your situation and your distinctions. A “good” belief is one that is empowering and useful to YOU. Just because they don’t align with the beliefs of someone else, doesn’t make them wrong, but we must also remember that our beliefs may not be right for everyone either.
A good example of this is religion. Take a look at the different religions that exist. We have Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Confucianism, Baha’i, Jainism, Shinto. How many of these were you really aware of? I can also tell you there are at least four more I haven’t listed and probably a few dozen others that I don’t even know about. These ten belief systems don’t operate on the same beliefs as one another. Some of these believe in one god. Some believe in many. Others believe in none. Again, just because someone’s belief does not align with your own, does not make them incorrect. They are, in fact, right, but only because these beliefs work for them.
After identifying the “new” belief you want to “install” then simply link pleasure to that one in particular and it will change. Condition yourself to believe this in its entirety and it will stick.
The past is the past. It is nothing more than a reference, but it’s not always accurate. Keep in mind that the beliefs we are replacing leave a “void” and will be filled by something new, so we need to MAKE SURE we replace these beliefs with something we WANT to be there.
So as a little exercise: find two limiting core beliefs to change.
For me:
I can’t because I don’t know how.
Life is generally unfair and cruel.
Now…I’m pretty sure everyone has heard of the story “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickins. It’s a classic and shows you exactly how to go about changing these things, and it’s not only in your beliefs. This same “methodology” is how one would go about changing their core beliefs, even values. So, lets have some “fun” here…
BEFORE we do anything here…let’s find two new beliefs that we want to replace these with.
Again, for me:
There’s always a way if I am committed.
Life provides us with what we deserve to receive.
What I’m going to do (I’d also encourage you to give this a try too if you really want to change), is the same thing. Basically look at everything that I missed out on and figure out about how much these two beliefs actually costed me in my life. On a side note…I can pin point about four occasions when my grandma pulled this on me when I was back in Hawai’i, so I can say for certain; this actually works.
Here’s the methodology…
First, we look at everything in the past that we can think of that has been limited by these two beliefs.
We also need to look at everything in the present that we might be missing out on due to these…
And finally we’ll have to be able to look ahead and “project” if you will, the result of our beliefs and what this will cost us in the future.
Then, take a moment and sort of “return home.” We keep with us these “experiences” and trauma.
At this point, we SHOULD have enough “leverage” to begin searching for a fix. If anyone is anything like me, chances are, some of us have PROBABLY been reduced to tears.
Now (After settling down somewhat…), we look at our “new” beliefs and figure out exactly what we will get out of this. IF we had these beliefs in the past, what would have been changed? How would our lives have been better in the past?
If we changed this RIGHT NOW, what will we be gaining in the present?
Now, the future comes into play again here. Project into the future, your life when living with these new beliefs.
Now, come back to the present and compare the two, side by side. What do you WANT to go for? Which of these end results, so to speak, appeal more to you and which of these GETS you to that point? Which one do we commit to?
Hopefully, this makes sense, and hopefully some of us will use this to get that change sooner rather than later.
The power to change our life comes from taking action consistently and following through in spite of fears and challenges. This means we do not give in because of an obstacle or bump in the road. These are bound to happen.
One way to succeed in life is to use the “success formula”
1: We have to know our outcome. We need to know what we want to get out of something.
2: We have to make a decision to take action. That conscious effort needs to be taken or we will not actually make a change.
3: We need to be able to notice if it’s working or not. If we do not pay attention to the ‘feedback loop’ so to speak, we will not be able to adjust to reach our goal.
4: We need to be adaptable. If we cannot alter our course when things are going poorly, we are only headed to disaster.
The importance of role modeling, or as Tai puts it, mentoring. We should find someone who is getting the results we want to have, and “steal” their methods to achieve the same outcomes. This can cut years, even decades off of the learning curve.
Pain and pleasure are the two forces that drive us to take action or prevent us from doing so. These are two forces that our brain will constantly strive to reach for or avoid.
Neuro Associations determine our behavior. What we have associated pain or pleasure to will determine how we interact with the world around us.
Anchors are created by experiences that occur during particularly “powerful” emotional storms, so to speak. At any point in time, if we are feeling an emotion strongly enough and an event takes place enough times, we will associate that event with the emotion we are feeling.
I looked at what we really want. People as a whole, do not seek relationships. They do not want their business. They do not want money. They do not want their car. What we seek are the feelings or emotional states that we may receive from any of these.
The ability to control our states is linked to physical changes and mental focus. Studies have shown (throughout the years) that the individuals who present themselves in a “successful” fashion consider themselves more successful than those who do not. We have also come to understand that our mental focus (our “camera” so to speak) determines what state we are in.
Asking the RIGHT questions as opposed to the wrong questions. There are different ways to ask questions: Some questions will empower you while others will disempower you. Learning to ask the RIGHT questions is key.
Values and Beliefs determine our decisions, what we do, and our “destiny.” Values are double sided: these dictate what we want in any area of our life, and what we want to avoid. Beliefs are the rules that determine whether we have met our values or not.
Global or Core beliefs determine what we think about ourselves, people, life, etc… These govern what we are willing to focus on and ask.
Power is USE, not just knowledge. Knowing isn’t enough. We need to apply what we need in order to see the results.
Taking control of your life - Changing Core Belief Systems
We already know how to change almost anything. We need to get leverage, interrupt the pattern, and then condition ourselves with a new association. To change our core beliefs, we use the same steps in a different context.
Your brain will do almost anything to avoid massive pain. Identify your beliefs that you want to change the most. Beliefs about life, people, self, relationships, money, etc… These should be core beliefs that are holding you back.
Creating a new set of empowering beliefs.
This is something to remember: Beliefs don’t have to be accurate. Beliefs only have to be accurate to your situation and your distinctions. A “good” belief is one that is empowering and useful to YOU. Just because they don’t align with the beliefs of someone else, doesn’t make them wrong, but we must also remember that our beliefs may not be right for everyone either.
A good example of this is religion. Take a look at the different religions that exist. We have Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Confucianism, Baha’i, Jainism, Shinto. How many of these were you really aware of? I can also tell you there are at least four more I haven’t listed and probably a few dozen others that I don’t even know about. These ten belief systems don’t operate on the same beliefs as one another. Some of these believe in one god. Some believe in many. Others believe in none. Again, just because someone’s belief does not align with your own, does not make them incorrect. They are, in fact, right, but only because these beliefs work for them.
After identifying the “new” belief you want to “install” then simply link pleasure to that one in particular and it will change. Condition yourself to believe this in its entirety and it will stick.
The past is the past. It is nothing more than a reference, but it’s not always accurate. Keep in mind that the beliefs we are replacing leave a “void” and will be filled by something new, so we need to MAKE SURE we replace these beliefs with something we WANT to be there.
So as a little exercise: find two limiting core beliefs to change.
For me:
I can’t because I don’t know how.
Life is generally unfair and cruel.
Now…I’m pretty sure everyone has heard of the story “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickins. It’s a classic and shows you exactly how to go about changing these things, and it’s not only in your beliefs. This same “methodology” is how one would go about changing their core beliefs, even values. So, lets have some “fun” here…
BEFORE we do anything here…let’s find two new beliefs that we want to replace these with.
Again, for me:
There’s always a way if I am committed.
Life provides us with what we deserve to receive.
What I’m going to do (I’d also encourage you to give this a try too if you really want to change), is the same thing. Basically look at everything that I missed out on and figure out about how much these two beliefs actually costed me in my life. On a side note…I can pin point about four occasions when my grandma pulled this on me when I was back in Hawai’i, so I can say for certain; this actually works.
Here’s the methodology…
First, we look at everything in the past that we can think of that has been limited by these two beliefs.
We also need to look at everything in the present that we might be missing out on due to these…
And finally we’ll have to be able to look ahead and “project” if you will, the result of our beliefs and what this will cost us in the future.
Then, take a moment and sort of “return home.” We keep with us these “experiences” and trauma.
At this point, we SHOULD have enough “leverage” to begin searching for a fix. If anyone is anything like me, chances are, some of us have PROBABLY been reduced to tears.
Now (After settling down somewhat…), we look at our “new” beliefs and figure out exactly what we will get out of this. IF we had these beliefs in the past, what would have been changed? How would our lives have been better in the past?
If we changed this RIGHT NOW, what will we be gaining in the present?
Now, the future comes into play again here. Project into the future, your life when living with these new beliefs.
Now, come back to the present and compare the two, side by side. What do you WANT to go for? Which of these end results, so to speak, appeal more to you and which of these GETS you to that point? Which one do we commit to?
Hopefully, this makes sense, and hopefully some of us will use this to get that change sooner rather than later.
