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Personal Journal - Day 11: The Power of Why
10 years ago
Over the past several days we’ve looked at a lot. Today, most of this gets brought back into play in some form or another. Leverage and how to get it in regards to goals will be todays focus.
The Power of Why: Setting goals and their importance
Now, there’s a LOT that goes into this, and many of us have heard this over and over and over again. That doesn’t mean we necessarily apply what we know, though. There’s this thing known as the “law of familiarity.” Even if we know about this, it’s a trap we’ve all fallen into at least once in our lives. Basically, the law of familiarity states that when we are around something or have heard something enough times, we begin to take it for granted. As with anything you wish to master, one must practice the fundamentals.
Think of this as a martial art. With judo, our footwork was key. One minor slipup and that would cost us the match for sure. If we couldn’t control our footwork instinctively, we were not nearly ready to learn throws or any new techniques at all. This goes for anything we try to learn.
“The Power of Why”
Now, as to why I am actually posting on this… Most people, including myself, haven’t done this right…ever. If we are NOT where we want to be or where we feel we deserve to be, it’s because our goals were not set properly. I used to set goals, but never really did get clear on WHY I was reaching for them. At one point in my therapy, I did set a few goals with some very clear reasons as to WHY I wanted them in my mind and guess what? THOSE are the goals I have achieved thus far. All the others I simply listed I didn’t get clear on. As such, many of my other goals, most of my materialistic goals actually, I haven’t reached. After listening to today’s tape, however, I think I have an idea as to what happened that has kept me from getting there.
Most people would agree that having a goal is important…but no one I have asked who has said this has been able to explain WHY it is important, except for the part where they all seem to agree that a goal gives us something to strive for. This is true, but here’s what else goals do for us. They also give us the ability to CREATE our future as WE see fit, basically allowing us to “mold” our life into what we want it to be.
As an example…in 1953, a study was conducted on the graduating class of Yale University. They asked the graduating class how many of them had a clear, defined set of goals for their life. Less than three percent had a set of written goals with a plan. The other 97% either didn’t have goals, or had goals but did not have them clearly defined or had any plan to achieve them. In 1973, twenty years later, they came back and interviewed the class of ’53 and found that the 3% that HAD set goals were worth MORE financially than the other 97% COMBINED. They also went on to note that these 3% appeared to be happier and more fulfilled than their peers.
This was the same example that my therapist threw at me several years ago. However, there was one MAJOR limiting factor when we worked on setting goals…and that was the fact that I was to “keep my goals real.” In other words, that ALONE limited my goals to goals which I could achieve under my current power with NO reason to grow.
I personally believe that what is “real” today is based upon the past. What I have learned is NOT to set “realistic” goals. The more “realistic” they are the less you need to develop yourself in order to reach them, assuming you even have to develop yourself at all. In order for you to reach a goal that may be currently out of reach, you need to develop yourself. So, that goal has to be able to provide you with that drive.
Goals should have reason as to WHY we want to reach them. We need to get that same leverage in order to achieve the drive we need in order to reach our goals. Without that drive, we have no momentum. “Purpose is stronger than outcome.” I didn’t quite understand this until recently.
One of my friends did say that it didn’t serve one to simply be “outcome oriented.” Didn’t quite understand it when it was mentioned and had been a little confused as to what he had been saying at the time. I would like to point this out now though…Having actually sat down and studied this little topic in depth (finally), I am able to say that goals are NOT meant to “get things” so to speak. They are meant to develop you personally.
This simply means that one shouldn’t focus on material things. Remember, material objects are a means to an end. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t include them in your goals, but you need to understand WHY you want them. We need to understand that materialistic wants are also a part of life. If we become so outcome oriented that we do not pay attention to the reasons why we have set our goals in the first place, then when we achieve our goals, but lack the fulfillment we so desire.
“New Years Syndrome”
Most people take goals setting for granted. I know I did at one time. We would only do this one a year…can you guess when that is?
Yup, it’s New Years…Problem is, we set our goal and don’t even LOOK at the dang thing for a whole year! Here’s my reasoning behind it…
1: We don’t understand how much drive a goal can provide in our life, so we simply take it for granted.
2: We don’t know WHY we’re pursuing our goals.
Reasons first; answers second. If we know WHY we want to have something, we can make it happen. On the flip side, if we don’t know why we want something, it can’t inspire us to push for it. Make sense?
“Why Goals Work”
What we focus on consistently, we experience in life. As mentioned earlier, if we focus on something, that is our reality, and as such, whatever it is we focus on, we manifest. When a goal is set, we acknowledge that at this point, we are NOT where we want to be. Meaning: We begin to make distinctions between where we want to be and where we are now. This is what creates dissatisfaction in our lives. That dissatisfaction creates drive.
“The Importance of Setting Good Goals”
When people get comfortable, they become “complacent,” so to speak. Sometimes, someone doesn’t even have to be comfortable to be complacent. In fact, as long as the perceived pain of change is greater than that which they are experiencing at the current moment, they will become complacent and change, overall, will become incredibly difficult to achieve. It is due to this feeling of satisfaction that for many people, “success” becomes a bit of a trap. They achieve the goals they want, but then get comfortable.
Tony Robbins always says: “When we succeed, we party; when we fail, we ponder.”
The mistakes we make drive us to learn, so to speak. That feeling of dissatisfaction is a tool we are able to use in order to empower ourselves. This dissatisfaction creates pressure and tension. In order to achieve our goals, we must learn to manage both pressure and tension. We must also learn how to utilize these forces to drive us. By identifying what we want and why we want it “triggers” a thought process that then begins to compare situations side by side. What we have now, the potential path to our goal, and the potential end result we will be reaching.
I have found that when setting a goal (Going through this program in its entirety, for example), it helps to commit to it in a form which others are able to watch or see. I have told my family about this little exercise verbally and have begun posting these little things on FA. It has provided a huge amount of pressure thanks to these two things.
If anyone remembers Day 0, I said I was pulling bits and pieces of information from this series. In other words, I was already clear what I wanted to gain out of doing this. Not necessarily a whole new life style or major changes, but just basic knowledge I might be able to apply at some point, and I like to think I’ve managed to do that quite nicely over the past week and some.
So; Here’s the exercise…
Find areas in our life which we are dissatisfied with and WHY we are dissatisfied with them.
So here are mine…reworked and reevaluated ten years later.
I want to become financially independent.
I don’t have the stability I am seeking. I don’t have enough money to do what I want to without having to worry about the bills or rent. I don’t have the time to do what I enjoy doing.
I want to be able to contribute more than I am currently able to. I want to be able to do things for my friends a little more freely. I would like to have more money so I can properly invest in my health and well being.
I want to be healthier
I get tired quicker than I used to. I feel exhausted more often than I should. I am in pain a HELL of a lot more often that I was before. I am constantly feeling ill.
I want to feel like I did back in high school; as though I could keep up with anyone. I had more energy and, despite the disaster of my mental states, I was more satisfied with my body. I actually thought I looked decent.
I want to better my living situation.
I don’t have a place I can really call my own. I feel trapped. I feel like I’m constantly lying to myself just to get by.
I simply want to have that sense of security now. Renting is difficult and expensive, but I don’t feel like I am able to settle down where I am currently. I want to own property, but it HAS to be in an environment that I enjoy being in. I am not willing to settle.
I want to get into my career of choice
I am not doing what I want to be doing as a career. The job I have now does not get me anywhere, it simply pays the bills. I cannot really express myself properly or utilize the skills I have been working on for the past few years.
I want to work either for a company, or have my own little freelance “studio” so to speak. I want to work in animation. I like entertaining and I have stories I want to tell. Should I end up working for a company, then that will let me build on my skills. Heck, I might even be able to work my way up the “corporate ladder.”
Find any new beliefs we may need to adopt in order to achieve our goals.
Change is exciting!
The Power of Why: Setting goals and their importance
Now, there’s a LOT that goes into this, and many of us have heard this over and over and over again. That doesn’t mean we necessarily apply what we know, though. There’s this thing known as the “law of familiarity.” Even if we know about this, it’s a trap we’ve all fallen into at least once in our lives. Basically, the law of familiarity states that when we are around something or have heard something enough times, we begin to take it for granted. As with anything you wish to master, one must practice the fundamentals.
Think of this as a martial art. With judo, our footwork was key. One minor slipup and that would cost us the match for sure. If we couldn’t control our footwork instinctively, we were not nearly ready to learn throws or any new techniques at all. This goes for anything we try to learn.
“The Power of Why”
Now, as to why I am actually posting on this… Most people, including myself, haven’t done this right…ever. If we are NOT where we want to be or where we feel we deserve to be, it’s because our goals were not set properly. I used to set goals, but never really did get clear on WHY I was reaching for them. At one point in my therapy, I did set a few goals with some very clear reasons as to WHY I wanted them in my mind and guess what? THOSE are the goals I have achieved thus far. All the others I simply listed I didn’t get clear on. As such, many of my other goals, most of my materialistic goals actually, I haven’t reached. After listening to today’s tape, however, I think I have an idea as to what happened that has kept me from getting there.
Most people would agree that having a goal is important…but no one I have asked who has said this has been able to explain WHY it is important, except for the part where they all seem to agree that a goal gives us something to strive for. This is true, but here’s what else goals do for us. They also give us the ability to CREATE our future as WE see fit, basically allowing us to “mold” our life into what we want it to be.
As an example…in 1953, a study was conducted on the graduating class of Yale University. They asked the graduating class how many of them had a clear, defined set of goals for their life. Less than three percent had a set of written goals with a plan. The other 97% either didn’t have goals, or had goals but did not have them clearly defined or had any plan to achieve them. In 1973, twenty years later, they came back and interviewed the class of ’53 and found that the 3% that HAD set goals were worth MORE financially than the other 97% COMBINED. They also went on to note that these 3% appeared to be happier and more fulfilled than their peers.
This was the same example that my therapist threw at me several years ago. However, there was one MAJOR limiting factor when we worked on setting goals…and that was the fact that I was to “keep my goals real.” In other words, that ALONE limited my goals to goals which I could achieve under my current power with NO reason to grow.
I personally believe that what is “real” today is based upon the past. What I have learned is NOT to set “realistic” goals. The more “realistic” they are the less you need to develop yourself in order to reach them, assuming you even have to develop yourself at all. In order for you to reach a goal that may be currently out of reach, you need to develop yourself. So, that goal has to be able to provide you with that drive.
Goals should have reason as to WHY we want to reach them. We need to get that same leverage in order to achieve the drive we need in order to reach our goals. Without that drive, we have no momentum. “Purpose is stronger than outcome.” I didn’t quite understand this until recently.
One of my friends did say that it didn’t serve one to simply be “outcome oriented.” Didn’t quite understand it when it was mentioned and had been a little confused as to what he had been saying at the time. I would like to point this out now though…Having actually sat down and studied this little topic in depth (finally), I am able to say that goals are NOT meant to “get things” so to speak. They are meant to develop you personally.
This simply means that one shouldn’t focus on material things. Remember, material objects are a means to an end. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t include them in your goals, but you need to understand WHY you want them. We need to understand that materialistic wants are also a part of life. If we become so outcome oriented that we do not pay attention to the reasons why we have set our goals in the first place, then when we achieve our goals, but lack the fulfillment we so desire.
“New Years Syndrome”
Most people take goals setting for granted. I know I did at one time. We would only do this one a year…can you guess when that is?
Yup, it’s New Years…Problem is, we set our goal and don’t even LOOK at the dang thing for a whole year! Here’s my reasoning behind it…
1: We don’t understand how much drive a goal can provide in our life, so we simply take it for granted.
2: We don’t know WHY we’re pursuing our goals.
Reasons first; answers second. If we know WHY we want to have something, we can make it happen. On the flip side, if we don’t know why we want something, it can’t inspire us to push for it. Make sense?
“Why Goals Work”
What we focus on consistently, we experience in life. As mentioned earlier, if we focus on something, that is our reality, and as such, whatever it is we focus on, we manifest. When a goal is set, we acknowledge that at this point, we are NOT where we want to be. Meaning: We begin to make distinctions between where we want to be and where we are now. This is what creates dissatisfaction in our lives. That dissatisfaction creates drive.
“The Importance of Setting Good Goals”
When people get comfortable, they become “complacent,” so to speak. Sometimes, someone doesn’t even have to be comfortable to be complacent. In fact, as long as the perceived pain of change is greater than that which they are experiencing at the current moment, they will become complacent and change, overall, will become incredibly difficult to achieve. It is due to this feeling of satisfaction that for many people, “success” becomes a bit of a trap. They achieve the goals they want, but then get comfortable.
Tony Robbins always says: “When we succeed, we party; when we fail, we ponder.”
The mistakes we make drive us to learn, so to speak. That feeling of dissatisfaction is a tool we are able to use in order to empower ourselves. This dissatisfaction creates pressure and tension. In order to achieve our goals, we must learn to manage both pressure and tension. We must also learn how to utilize these forces to drive us. By identifying what we want and why we want it “triggers” a thought process that then begins to compare situations side by side. What we have now, the potential path to our goal, and the potential end result we will be reaching.
I have found that when setting a goal (Going through this program in its entirety, for example), it helps to commit to it in a form which others are able to watch or see. I have told my family about this little exercise verbally and have begun posting these little things on FA. It has provided a huge amount of pressure thanks to these two things.
If anyone remembers Day 0, I said I was pulling bits and pieces of information from this series. In other words, I was already clear what I wanted to gain out of doing this. Not necessarily a whole new life style or major changes, but just basic knowledge I might be able to apply at some point, and I like to think I’ve managed to do that quite nicely over the past week and some.
So; Here’s the exercise…
Find areas in our life which we are dissatisfied with and WHY we are dissatisfied with them.
So here are mine…reworked and reevaluated ten years later.
I want to become financially independent.
I don’t have the stability I am seeking. I don’t have enough money to do what I want to without having to worry about the bills or rent. I don’t have the time to do what I enjoy doing.
I want to be able to contribute more than I am currently able to. I want to be able to do things for my friends a little more freely. I would like to have more money so I can properly invest in my health and well being.
I want to be healthier
I get tired quicker than I used to. I feel exhausted more often than I should. I am in pain a HELL of a lot more often that I was before. I am constantly feeling ill.
I want to feel like I did back in high school; as though I could keep up with anyone. I had more energy and, despite the disaster of my mental states, I was more satisfied with my body. I actually thought I looked decent.
I want to better my living situation.
I don’t have a place I can really call my own. I feel trapped. I feel like I’m constantly lying to myself just to get by.
I simply want to have that sense of security now. Renting is difficult and expensive, but I don’t feel like I am able to settle down where I am currently. I want to own property, but it HAS to be in an environment that I enjoy being in. I am not willing to settle.
I want to get into my career of choice
I am not doing what I want to be doing as a career. The job I have now does not get me anywhere, it simply pays the bills. I cannot really express myself properly or utilize the skills I have been working on for the past few years.
I want to work either for a company, or have my own little freelance “studio” so to speak. I want to work in animation. I like entertaining and I have stories I want to tell. Should I end up working for a company, then that will let me build on my skills. Heck, I might even be able to work my way up the “corporate ladder.”
Find any new beliefs we may need to adopt in order to achieve our goals.
Change is exciting!
