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June 17 2015 update
10 years ago
Well ups and downs mainly downs I know sounds bad buy I don't plan to oh no poor me I'm just gonna explain my absent past present and future
Well start with.... I'm fucked
November was an up
I move back to Topeka which was a down only did that cause my dad got hurt at work and needed help
The plus is I am learning a trade skill and get paid for it and actually am good at it
December was a down
December 16 a drunk driver traveling in excess of 95 (they refuse to give me actual speed) hit the rear of my truck me only traveling 65 mph westbound I-70 he put me into a guard rail causing major damage to my truck which was totaled but drivable, he proceeded to try and speed away 10 miles later his care began to give out due to the overwhelming damage to the front of his car my truck had damage to front passenger and rear I was driving with my fender grinding into my tire at 95 mph to try and catch him as he pulled away I eventually forced him to side of road ran to his car to get his keys he then threw in reverse trying to get away and turn I no into me to try and run me over he tried to go into drive being drunk he hit park auto locks unlocked immediately one paw to his neck squeezing a little more then I should the other to keys and took them they putrid smell of booze from the car and him bellowed out cops got involved parents showed up etc he went away with a due I ended up in hospital with major headaches which I still have today
I now have a 6532 in medical bills that I have to pay for him hitting me... his insurance have informed my lawyer they will settle for much less or I can take them to court (a two year process) if I do that in 30 days from today June 17 the hospital can start up to 60% garnishment. .. i make 244 a week and it's 65-70 in gas alone to to get to and from work ..... yay.... me.... thanks "BRIAN P. BAUER" for ruining my truck, fucking my saving, fucking my holidays and for.fucking me!!!..... so I'm stuck in a hard spot do I take the insult of a settlement pay 70% medical bills and be fucked for.half a year or do I go.to court and get fucked over a year.....
Either way I'm kinda fucked
It gets better I recited another bill for 2297 for x-rays just yesterday on top of the previous 6k..... fuck...
On top of that mu.dad's mom went into the hospital last weekend they accidentally gave her a antibiotic she is alergict(sp) to... she became very I'll very fast went into a coma.... after a week of swelling and internal bleeding they finally gto her to respond barely... in a very unstable condition they have her in icu currently and we are unknowing her survival chances....
I don't know what to do there is absolutely no.way I can afford to go visit her let alone take the chance I miss a single day of work cause of bills.... I've survived barely on 20$ for.food each week sometimes less.... it's been a very depressing last 6 months... so much so.... I've had some thoughts I once promised someone I'd never do or try again ever period.... I'm close to breaking that promise if it simply means all of this negative goes away
I haven't seen a positive light in a whole...
I know a certain husky who is unfortunatly only a close friend anymore has tried to help me.threw this emotionally and I thank him for all the help... but I'm unsure how much longer he can keep me stable and sane....
As I am right now I go to work bust my ass to put gas in my truck so the hospital can take the rest to remain so poor I just go home and stair at the wall.... i try to sleep but then all these worries rush into my head unable to concentrate they scream at me constantly keeping me awake the sunsets most fall asleep I begin to stress and worry what will I do next thing I relisr it's morning sun is rising I haven't slept but I must go to work or I'm Evan more fucked off then I already am....... i drive the 22 mile.drive to work running over it all what will I do what can I do its cause me.to get sick on way in a few times.....
..... i can only dream of the days of past when I once held someone special in my hear and arms and I I. Theirs only for reality to settle in crushing any idea hope? Or thought of such dreams.....
I would cry but I'm so far depressed I can't anymore I just sit in this cloud of darkness my shadow my only companion.. i sigh and go to work
Is there any hope any relief any end of this in sight.....
Those bad thoughts settle in again.....
Well start with.... I'm fucked
November was an up
I move back to Topeka which was a down only did that cause my dad got hurt at work and needed help
The plus is I am learning a trade skill and get paid for it and actually am good at it
December was a down
December 16 a drunk driver traveling in excess of 95 (they refuse to give me actual speed) hit the rear of my truck me only traveling 65 mph westbound I-70 he put me into a guard rail causing major damage to my truck which was totaled but drivable, he proceeded to try and speed away 10 miles later his care began to give out due to the overwhelming damage to the front of his car my truck had damage to front passenger and rear I was driving with my fender grinding into my tire at 95 mph to try and catch him as he pulled away I eventually forced him to side of road ran to his car to get his keys he then threw in reverse trying to get away and turn I no into me to try and run me over he tried to go into drive being drunk he hit park auto locks unlocked immediately one paw to his neck squeezing a little more then I should the other to keys and took them they putrid smell of booze from the car and him bellowed out cops got involved parents showed up etc he went away with a due I ended up in hospital with major headaches which I still have today
I now have a 6532 in medical bills that I have to pay for him hitting me... his insurance have informed my lawyer they will settle for much less or I can take them to court (a two year process) if I do that in 30 days from today June 17 the hospital can start up to 60% garnishment. .. i make 244 a week and it's 65-70 in gas alone to to get to and from work ..... yay.... me.... thanks "BRIAN P. BAUER" for ruining my truck, fucking my saving, fucking my holidays and for.fucking me!!!..... so I'm stuck in a hard spot do I take the insult of a settlement pay 70% medical bills and be fucked for.half a year or do I go.to court and get fucked over a year.....
Either way I'm kinda fucked
It gets better I recited another bill for 2297 for x-rays just yesterday on top of the previous 6k..... fuck...
On top of that mu.dad's mom went into the hospital last weekend they accidentally gave her a antibiotic she is alergict(sp) to... she became very I'll very fast went into a coma.... after a week of swelling and internal bleeding they finally gto her to respond barely... in a very unstable condition they have her in icu currently and we are unknowing her survival chances....
I don't know what to do there is absolutely no.way I can afford to go visit her let alone take the chance I miss a single day of work cause of bills.... I've survived barely on 20$ for.food each week sometimes less.... it's been a very depressing last 6 months... so much so.... I've had some thoughts I once promised someone I'd never do or try again ever period.... I'm close to breaking that promise if it simply means all of this negative goes away
I haven't seen a positive light in a whole...
I know a certain husky who is unfortunatly only a close friend anymore has tried to help me.threw this emotionally and I thank him for all the help... but I'm unsure how much longer he can keep me stable and sane....
As I am right now I go to work bust my ass to put gas in my truck so the hospital can take the rest to remain so poor I just go home and stair at the wall.... i try to sleep but then all these worries rush into my head unable to concentrate they scream at me constantly keeping me awake the sunsets most fall asleep I begin to stress and worry what will I do next thing I relisr it's morning sun is rising I haven't slept but I must go to work or I'm Evan more fucked off then I already am....... i drive the 22 mile.drive to work running over it all what will I do what can I do its cause me.to get sick on way in a few times.....
..... i can only dream of the days of past when I once held someone special in my hear and arms and I I. Theirs only for reality to settle in crushing any idea hope? Or thought of such dreams.....
I would cry but I'm so far depressed I can't anymore I just sit in this cloud of darkness my shadow my only companion.. i sigh and go to work
Is there any hope any relief any end of this in sight.....
Those bad thoughts settle in again.....
Having the time of my.like I'm 27 I should not be where I am today...
Then again I've always been where I shouldn't be for my age always ahead of myself because situation dictatez so
Gaia bless and if you need to talk, or whatever, send me a poke. Clearly you need the comfort and hugs!
Pakesh_De
Snoofy old burr