The past two months have been hell.

Right before blfc, my tooth/gum started hurting. Found out i had infected gums due to my wisdom tooth. Decided to have them pulled after trip. Upon getting to BLFC i sadly got food poisoning right off the bat. I stayed in bed almost the entire con. Didn't really enjoy it. On sunday i got to do mini golf and that was basically the highlight of the con.

Get back to have 4 wisdom teeth pulled. While that was relatively a success, i ended up passing out in the kitchen while trying to make jello. From what i heard, i landed on the dog food/water dish and wall. After an extremely embarrassing visit from the paramedics (all of whom i know, plus our fire department) i was placed on the couch and my in law grudgingly (i'm pretty sure) made my jello for me. I experienced some awful side effects from antibiotics and pain meds. After a few days i made note of my tailbone hurting. Now i know what i actually landed on when i passed out.

After 2 days i was almost forced to deliver mail. My postmaster called and said the main couldn't work. *For the next week* Well guess what? I had just taken a pain pill. I told her i dont think i could drive atleast for today since i was already feeling sleepy. She literally told me she'd come pick me up, have me sort the mail, and she would drive and have me deliver mail still.

SERIOUSLY!? Isn't that.. against... some kind of rule? I mean.. come on..

She called back and said she found someone else thankfully. But sadly 1 day later i was on my own. No pain pills, and a hot hot car. My ac doesn't work in the jeep and i had to deliver mail in 90 degree weather, all the while trying to recover from 4 wisdom teeth being pulled.

I had to do this for 7 days, had a day off, then work another 3. Around this time my first order of chicks came in so while all this was going on i had to take care of my babies.

Before my trip to blfc, i heard a BIG BIG crack, and more cracking noises coming from the wall. I told Ben but he thought i was exaggerating and didn't pay much attention to it.

Fast forward a few weeks later, it cracked again while he was home, and this time he finally investigated. Ends up, multiple trusses had cracked and other places were falling apart. Called a family friend, the one who built this garage. Ends up the trusses that were used had been sitting outside for a year, and they were the wrong ones to use where they were.

We packed up a majority of our things, all clothes, all the heavy stuff, and took it out. We didn't want to risk caving in because of weight. We resorted to sleeping in our bed, which is right on the wall that had the damage. To sleep, sadly, i drank. I didn't want to abuse it.. but the only way to really calm me down to sleep was to drink. I was so paranoid that everything would collapse and we would drop to the garage (we live in a somewhat livable attic/studio/loft thing above the garage)

I moved to the trailer after a few days. I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm still paranoid, and try to stay up here but all i wish is for it to get fixed.

A few days ago my last order of chicks came. Sadly, one died after i had stayed up all night trying to save it. And now my other silkie, the roo, is doing the same thing. I'm assuming the trip was too much for them. I'll get my money back, but that doesn't stop the pain i see them going through as they die. I waited 6 months for these guys, i've had them ordered since January.

With everything happening we had to cancel RF, and really all cons for that matter. Its just getting to be too much, especially with whats happened with the garage.

After one of my friends heard, she offered to help pay/reserve a room for an insanely low price (around $55 a night just for ben and i) She said if we couldn't pay for it she could help o.O, i'm tempted to take up on her offer since that is so very cheap, considering thursday night would be $379 for us at the hilton. At this price this con might be doable.

My anxiety has skyrocketed because of all this. I'm unable to drive in town right now. One of my clients didn't need me anymore, so since i haven't drove into town in so long its made me fearful. I hate when that happens. I used to drive all around there going from client to client, but now.. i freak out. This was also one of the reasons i dont think i can do cons. The anxiety just isn't worth it. The drive that we will have to take for this con will drain me. It seems these vacations really dont do me much good, they waste money and all i think about is the drive. Bleh. Can transporters be invented yet?

I want human contact so badly. But at the same time.. it hurts.

So, again, i dont wish this hell on anyone. If you've been going through hell recently, please, type away. After typing this i feel so much better, you have no idea.